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CIRCLE WITH A DOT

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  3. I am not One of the Good Trans.

I am not One of the Good Trans.

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  • tattie@eldritch.cafeT tattie@eldritch.cafe

    Maybe it's past time to admit that "the trans community" is a fiction. Oh, there are trans communities, some of them wonderful. But none of them definitive.
    23/

    tattie@eldritch.cafeT This user is from outside of this forum
    tattie@eldritch.cafeT This user is from outside of this forum
    tattie@eldritch.cafe
    wrote last edited by
    #25

    I think of the horrible transphobic trope that trans people inevitably go thru a "Nazi phase" before coming out.

    Where does that trope originate? 4chan.

    Kinda unsurprising that a website full of edgelords would end up concluding that every trans person is similarly an edgelord, because those are the ones they meet.
    24/

    tattie@eldritch.cafeT 1 Reply Last reply
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    • tattie@eldritch.cafeT tattie@eldritch.cafe

      I think of the horrible transphobic trope that trans people inevitably go thru a "Nazi phase" before coming out.

      Where does that trope originate? 4chan.

      Kinda unsurprising that a website full of edgelords would end up concluding that every trans person is similarly an edgelord, because those are the ones they meet.
      24/

      tattie@eldritch.cafeT This user is from outside of this forum
      tattie@eldritch.cafeT This user is from outside of this forum
      tattie@eldritch.cafe
      wrote last edited by
      #26

      Similarly, trans Reddit thinks that trans people are some way, and trans Bluesky thinks that trans people are some way, and trans Fedi thinks that trans people are some way, but these are illusions.

      I tell you, there are trans people out there who have never hugged a Blåhaj and don't even like trains.
      25/

      faithisleaping@anarres.familyF tattie@eldritch.cafeT feorag@wandering.shopF peachfiend@mastodon.sdf.orgP jay_peper@chaos.socialJ 6 Replies Last reply
      0
      • tattie@eldritch.cafeT tattie@eldritch.cafe

        Similarly, trans Reddit thinks that trans people are some way, and trans Bluesky thinks that trans people are some way, and trans Fedi thinks that trans people are some way, but these are illusions.

        I tell you, there are trans people out there who have never hugged a Blåhaj and don't even like trains.
        25/

        faithisleaping@anarres.familyF This user is from outside of this forum
        faithisleaping@anarres.familyF This user is from outside of this forum
        faithisleaping@anarres.family
        wrote last edited by
        #27

        @Tattie Blasphemy! All hail Blåhaj!

        introvertcatto@lgbtqia.spaceI berniedoesit@mstdn.socialB 2 Replies Last reply
        0
        • tattie@eldritch.cafeT tattie@eldritch.cafe

          Similarly, trans Reddit thinks that trans people are some way, and trans Bluesky thinks that trans people are some way, and trans Fedi thinks that trans people are some way, but these are illusions.

          I tell you, there are trans people out there who have never hugged a Blåhaj and don't even like trains.
          25/

          tattie@eldritch.cafeT This user is from outside of this forum
          tattie@eldritch.cafeT This user is from outside of this forum
          tattie@eldritch.cafe
          wrote last edited by
          #28

          And there are closeted trans people out there in conservative-fascist circles, who are pretty much indistinguishable in everyday life from the worst sort of misogynist cis white dudes— just like I once made myself indistinguishable from a shy geeky bearded dude. (And acted as one.)

          And they for sure are so definitely Not One of the Good Trans that they make me look like One of the Good Trans.

          And yet we are all trans.
          Fin/

          pauamma@mstdn.socialP 1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • faithisleaping@anarres.familyF faithisleaping@anarres.family

            @Tattie Blasphemy! All hail Blåhaj!

            introvertcatto@lgbtqia.spaceI This user is from outside of this forum
            introvertcatto@lgbtqia.spaceI This user is from outside of this forum
            introvertcatto@lgbtqia.space
            wrote last edited by
            #29

            @faithisleaping @Tattie HOW CAN THEY NOT LIKE TRAINS????? 🚂🚃🚃🚃🚃🚃

            tattie@eldritch.cafeT kats@chaosfem.twK 2 Replies Last reply
            0
            • tattie@eldritch.cafeT tattie@eldritch.cafe

              Similarly, trans Reddit thinks that trans people are some way, and trans Bluesky thinks that trans people are some way, and trans Fedi thinks that trans people are some way, but these are illusions.

              I tell you, there are trans people out there who have never hugged a Blåhaj and don't even like trains.
              25/

              feorag@wandering.shopF This user is from outside of this forum
              feorag@wandering.shopF This user is from outside of this forum
              feorag@wandering.shop
              wrote last edited by
              #30

              @Tattie The tragedy of not having access to Blåhaj… or trains.

              1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • introvertcatto@lgbtqia.spaceI introvertcatto@lgbtqia.space

                @faithisleaping @Tattie HOW CAN THEY NOT LIKE TRAINS????? 🚂🚃🚃🚃🚃🚃

                tattie@eldritch.cafeT This user is from outside of this forum
                tattie@eldritch.cafeT This user is from outside of this forum
                tattie@eldritch.cafe
                wrote last edited by
                #31

                @introvertcatto @faithisleaping all hail the Blåhaj train!

                .
                🚂 🚃🚃🚃🚃🚃

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • tattie@eldritch.cafeT tattie@eldritch.cafe

                  When you're only permitted to explore your femininity as a "sex thing", then that's what you do.

                  I read erotic TG stories, consumed erotic art. I dressed up, stuffing my bra to ludicrous proportions. I fantasised, I wrote my own erotica. And each time when I was done, I put everything away, filled with shame and grief, and returned to the colourless male life I had to live.
                  3/

                  pinkberet@transfem.socialP This user is from outside of this forum
                  pinkberet@transfem.socialP This user is from outside of this forum
                  pinkberet@transfem.social
                  wrote last edited by
                  #32

                  @Tattie@eldritch.cafe ​​ Thank you for sharing. I knew I wasn't alone, but it's always nice to hear people living the same things.

                  1 Reply Last reply
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                  • tattie@eldritch.cafeT tattie@eldritch.cafe

                    I am not One of the Good Trans. I have always said this.

                    What I mean is: I reject the framing that picks and chooses "acceptable" #trans people, and rejects and invalidates others.
                    1/

                    seconduniverse@autistics.lifeS This user is from outside of this forum
                    seconduniverse@autistics.lifeS This user is from outside of this forum
                    seconduniverse@autistics.life
                    wrote last edited by
                    #33

                    @Tattie I remember the TS/TV divide of the eighties/nineties. I was one of the "good ones". It was all illegal so the two circles did overlap a bit for safety. On the TS side we had to meet very invasive criteria and we certainly had to avoid giving off a TV vibe. Sexuality had to be completely repressed. Full SRS was a legal requirement. The process took me away from any sense of authenticity and probably put another scoop of trauma in my head.

                    The TS/TV archetypes did so much damage. I am sorry you were misdirected onto such a long and painful journey.

                    I agree that people's private explorations shouldn't be used to attack anyone, even if they happen to be married to a reprehensible MAGA.

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • tattie@eldritch.cafeT tattie@eldritch.cafe

                      And there are closeted trans people out there in conservative-fascist circles, who are pretty much indistinguishable in everyday life from the worst sort of misogynist cis white dudes— just like I once made myself indistinguishable from a shy geeky bearded dude. (And acted as one.)

                      And they for sure are so definitely Not One of the Good Trans that they make me look like One of the Good Trans.

                      And yet we are all trans.
                      Fin/

                      pauamma@mstdn.socialP This user is from outside of this forum
                      pauamma@mstdn.socialP This user is from outside of this forum
                      pauamma@mstdn.social
                      wrote last edited by
                      #34

                      @Tattie *ponders*

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • tattie@eldritch.cafeT tattie@eldritch.cafe

                        Similarly, trans Reddit thinks that trans people are some way, and trans Bluesky thinks that trans people are some way, and trans Fedi thinks that trans people are some way, but these are illusions.

                        I tell you, there are trans people out there who have never hugged a Blåhaj and don't even like trains.
                        25/

                        peachfiend@mastodon.sdf.orgP This user is from outside of this forum
                        peachfiend@mastodon.sdf.orgP This user is from outside of this forum
                        peachfiend@mastodon.sdf.org
                        wrote last edited by
                        #35

                        @Tattie TBF i had no idea about the blåhaj thing until i joined mastodon, but have had at least SOME idea i was trans since like 1998.

                        tattie@eldritch.cafeT 1 Reply Last reply
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                        • tattie@eldritch.cafeT tattie@eldritch.cafe

                          Similarly, trans Reddit thinks that trans people are some way, and trans Bluesky thinks that trans people are some way, and trans Fedi thinks that trans people are some way, but these are illusions.

                          I tell you, there are trans people out there who have never hugged a Blåhaj and don't even like trains.
                          25/

                          jay_peper@chaos.socialJ This user is from outside of this forum
                          jay_peper@chaos.socialJ This user is from outside of this forum
                          jay_peper@chaos.social
                          wrote last edited by
                          #36

                          @Tattie 🙀

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • peachfiend@mastodon.sdf.orgP peachfiend@mastodon.sdf.org

                            @Tattie TBF i had no idea about the blåhaj thing until i joined mastodon, but have had at least SOME idea i was trans since like 1998.

                            tattie@eldritch.cafeT This user is from outside of this forum
                            tattie@eldritch.cafeT This user is from outside of this forum
                            tattie@eldritch.cafe
                            wrote last edited by
                            #37

                            @peachfiend a decade before Blåhaj was even produced!

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • tattie@eldritch.cafeT tattie@eldritch.cafe

                              I am not One of the Good Trans. I have always said this.

                              What I mean is: I reject the framing that picks and chooses "acceptable" #trans people, and rejects and invalidates others.
                              1/

                              nephrite@gamedev.lgbtN This user is from outside of this forum
                              nephrite@gamedev.lgbtN This user is from outside of this forum
                              nephrite@gamedev.lgbt
                              wrote last edited by
                              #38

                              @Tattie Tattie, what an amazing thread. Some of those parts must have been very personal, thanks for sharing!

                              Another example of a trans person existing in a conservative space: me as a child. It was years after leaving my conservative church and becoming ever more leftist and progressive before I even found out trans people existed and (gasp) I was one!

                              nephrite@gamedev.lgbtN 1 Reply Last reply
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                              • introvertcatto@lgbtqia.spaceI introvertcatto@lgbtqia.space

                                @faithisleaping @Tattie HOW CAN THEY NOT LIKE TRAINS????? 🚂🚃🚃🚃🚃🚃

                                kats@chaosfem.twK This user is from outside of this forum
                                kats@chaosfem.twK This user is from outside of this forum
                                kats@chaosfem.tw
                                wrote last edited by
                                #39

                                @introvertcatto @faithisleaping @Tattie It just comes naturally to some of us. I'm even autistic, just to rub salt into the wound 😛

                                1 Reply Last reply
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                                • tattie@eldritch.cafeT tattie@eldritch.cafe

                                  The truth is that N, and of course Caitlyn Jenner, are the tip of the iceberg of objectionable trans people. Because, as I said, social change is not evenly distributed, there are a fuckload of closeted conservative trans people out there.

                                  If we somehow ended transphobia tomorrow, we would find that the community of trans individuals have overnight become substantially more racist, sexist, ableist, homophobic, classist, fatphobic, etc etc etc
                                  21/

                                  kats@chaosfem.twK This user is from outside of this forum
                                  kats@chaosfem.twK This user is from outside of this forum
                                  kats@chaosfem.tw
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #40

                                  @Tattie As I periodically sum it up offline: a key part of "understanding" trans people is understanding the part where we're people.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • nephrite@gamedev.lgbtN nephrite@gamedev.lgbt

                                    @Tattie Tattie, what an amazing thread. Some of those parts must have been very personal, thanks for sharing!

                                    Another example of a trans person existing in a conservative space: me as a child. It was years after leaving my conservative church and becoming ever more leftist and progressive before I even found out trans people existed and (gasp) I was one!

                                    nephrite@gamedev.lgbtN This user is from outside of this forum
                                    nephrite@gamedev.lgbtN This user is from outside of this forum
                                    nephrite@gamedev.lgbt
                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #41

                                    @Tattie Had you asked me as a child/young adult"would you rather be a girl/woman" I probably wouldn't have dared to say yes, but it never popped into my head because it just didn't register as a possibility. Basically everything after LG in LGBT+ was a cultural blind spot. And yet looking back I now do recognize some of my bad feelings back then were gender dysphoria. But at the time I either felt shame or I brushed it aside as normal. It just never came to that conscious "I am a girl" thought.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • tattie@eldritch.cafeT tattie@eldritch.cafe

                                      Similarly, trans Reddit thinks that trans people are some way, and trans Bluesky thinks that trans people are some way, and trans Fedi thinks that trans people are some way, but these are illusions.

                                      I tell you, there are trans people out there who have never hugged a Blåhaj and don't even like trains.
                                      25/

                                      lysdexic@hachyderm.ioL This user is from outside of this forum
                                      lysdexic@hachyderm.ioL This user is from outside of this forum
                                      lysdexic@hachyderm.io
                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #42

                                      @Tattie
                                      This last made me laugh, and you've made me think. Thank you.

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • tattie@eldritch.cafeT This user is from outside of this forum
                                        tattie@eldritch.cafeT This user is from outside of this forum
                                        tattie@eldritch.cafe
                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #43

                                        @ada I hear you.

                                        I love my trans self now, and I wouldn't choose to be different. But only because that would feel like undoing myself. Replacing myself.

                                        But before I knew what I was? I wouldn't have volunteered to be trans. I would've chosen an easy(er) life. 😮‍💨

                                        1 Reply Last reply
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                                        • tattie@eldritch.cafeT tattie@eldritch.cafe

                                          We are all shamed into staying within narrow confines of what is socially acceptable for our assigned gender. We narrow our possibilities, split ourselves into the part that we can be and the part that is forbidden. And then we create an inner gatekeeper whose job it is to keep us from the forbidden parts of ourselves. To police us before society can even catch us out.

                                          And if you're that sort of person, you then project this inner judgment externally. Onto, perhaps, your children. Or your classmates. Or the people who work for you. Or sex workers. Or your wife.
                                          14/

                                          woozle@toot.catW This user is from outside of this forum
                                          woozle@toot.catW This user is from outside of this forum
                                          woozle@toot.cat
                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #44

                                          @Tattie Ironically (if that's the right word), my conception of ideal femininity has always been firmly rooted in the idea of rebelling against conventional social expectations of femininity -- and my attraction to it was never about clothing, because I liked it better when girls wore neutral-to-masc clothing. That's what I found attractive and what I secretly wished I looked like.

                                          (FWIW: the obstacle for me was that I had been taught that gender was entirely socialized, therefore the idea of wanting to be a different gender was a logical contradiction and also probably indicative of secretly being a rapist or something.)

                                          (And anecdata, in case it's useful: I never went through a Nazi phase; was always a feminist. I never even went through the more common phase of trying extra-hard to perform masculinity -- I always hated it, knew I hated it, and saw nothing wrong with that.)

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