You can't prove she isn't the squirrel queen.

[starkrg@myside-yourside.net]

@selzero In other news, satellite imagery shows the Squirrel Kingdom mobilising their military. Though the reclusive kingdom continues to refuse any contact with the press, an unnamed source reports that the maneuvers are due to the mysterious disappearance of their monarch.

[zalasur@mastodon.surazal.net]

@selzero If not the Squirrel Queen, when why Squirrel Queen-shaped?

[retrosponge@kind.social]

@selzero Swear fealty to The Squirrel Queen!

[5cifigirl@starbase80.wtf]

@StarkRG @selzero

Ok but i like this twist on the "Florida man" headlines. Turns out "Florida woman" is much more relatable! ️

[decapitae@mastodon.social]

@selzero How's is this illegal? Are acorns +5 against boot lickers??

[steff@soc.femme.cat]

@selzero@syzito.xyz How dare they arrest the queen. Her legions will now take vengeance on us all

[iyashikei_kris@mstdn.social]

@selzero Big boss battle energy

[danadasgrau@mastodon.social]

@selzero she looks pretty squirrelly to me

[yetzt@social.yetzt.me]

@selzero strange women sitting in trees, distributing acorns is no basis for a system of government. supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farsical arborial ceremony.

[thefathippy@mastodon.world]

@selzero

[kshernandez@me.dm]

@selzero Exactly! Let her rule the Squirrel kingdom in peace.

[kshernandez@me.dm]

@yetzt @selzero I mean, how do we know she wasn't installed by the Squirrel kingdom? We don't. Perhaps we just were not invited to the ceremony?

[maryaustinbooks@mstdn.social]

@chessert @selzero
It's from the Dude Humor Report, a satirical outlet. They're doing their level best to beat reality, but they're trying to do the impossible in Florida. Their Florida Man/Woman stories keep getting mistaken for news because no one can tell the difference.

[benjamincox@writing.exchange]

@selzero I’ll have a pint of what her majesty’s just consumed, please. 🤨

[snork303@toot.community]

@selzero
I have been searching and have found no evidence that this actually happened.

[andymoose@fedi.aiga.rocks]

@selzero @TheBreadmonkey She clearly saw the Simpsons episode where Lisa gets high and says she’s the lizard queen.

[ada@blahaj.zone]

@yetzt@social.yetzt.me @selzero@syzito.xyz Honestly, it depends on the branch of the government

[mirahimage@toot.cat]

@ada @selzero @yetzt if you don't leave this idea alone, it might start to take root

[erinaceus@chaos.social]

@selzero Wait: Is the Squirrel Queen the secret identity of Florida Woman or is Florida Woman the secret identity of the Squirrel Queen?

[noortjevee@mstdn.social]

@selzero i have...i seen her and Doreen in the same room