You can't prove she isn't the squirrel queen.

[zalasur@mastodon.surazal.net]

@selzero If not the Squirrel Queen, when why Squirrel Queen-shaped?

[retrosponge@kind.social]

@selzero Swear fealty to The Squirrel Queen!

[5cifigirl@starbase80.wtf]

@StarkRG @selzero

Ok but i like this twist on the "Florida man" headlines. Turns out "Florida woman" is much more relatable! ️

[decapitae@mastodon.social]

@selzero How's is this illegal? Are acorns +5 against boot lickers??

[steff@soc.femme.cat]

@selzero@syzito.xyz How dare they arrest the queen. Her legions will now take vengeance on us all

[iyashikei_kris@mstdn.social]

@selzero Big boss battle energy

[danadasgrau@mastodon.social]

@selzero she looks pretty squirrelly to me

[yetzt@social.yetzt.me]

@selzero strange women sitting in trees, distributing acorns is no basis for a system of government. supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farsical arborial ceremony.

[thefathippy@mastodon.world]

@selzero

[kshernandez@me.dm]

@selzero Exactly! Let her rule the Squirrel kingdom in peace.

[kshernandez@me.dm]

@yetzt @selzero I mean, how do we know she wasn't installed by the Squirrel kingdom? We don't. Perhaps we just were not invited to the ceremony?

[maryaustinbooks@mstdn.social]

@chessert @selzero
It's from the Dude Humor Report, a satirical outlet. They're doing their level best to beat reality, but they're trying to do the impossible in Florida. Their Florida Man/Woman stories keep getting mistaken for news because no one can tell the difference.

[benjamincox@writing.exchange]

@selzero I’ll have a pint of what her majesty’s just consumed, please. 🤨

[snork303@toot.community]

@selzero
I have been searching and have found no evidence that this actually happened.

[andymoose@fedi.aiga.rocks]

@selzero @TheBreadmonkey She clearly saw the Simpsons episode where Lisa gets high and says she’s the lizard queen.

[ada@blahaj.zone]

@yetzt@social.yetzt.me @selzero@syzito.xyz Honestly, it depends on the branch of the government

[mirahimage@toot.cat]

@ada @selzero @yetzt if you don't leave this idea alone, it might start to take root

[erinaceus@chaos.social]

@selzero Wait: Is the Squirrel Queen the secret identity of Florida Woman or is Florida Woman the secret identity of the Squirrel Queen?

[noortjevee@mstdn.social]

@selzero i have...i seen her and Doreen in the same room

[enobacon@urbanists.social]

@selzero Before the police "found" her "throwing acorns at police", what was she doing that's illegal? [Note I am not arguing here that squirrels are not legally allowed to throw acorns at police.]