If you’re holding a hot dog and the person you’re talking to is crying, how long do you have to wait to take a bite?

[_slotek_@mastodon.social]

@HailsandAles A one-armed hug is still a hug.

[marcushayes@union.place]

@HailsandAles

Half their age, plus 7. In minutes.

[wendigo@metalhead.club]

@_slotek_ @HailsandAles Man, I'm sorry, but I think you have to trash the hot dog. Nearly same dilemma, days a go...

[mikemccaffrey@drupal.community]

@HailsandAles @Binder Pretty sure you are obligated to offer them the hot dog first.

[soldusty@beige.party]

@HailsandAles
Take a bite of what?
The person or the hotdog?
If, the person, will you be feeding them / letting them eat the hotdog first?

On the other hand, eat hotdog using hand A & hug person (assuming friend or related & appropriate) with hand B.

[_slotek_@mastodon.social]

@wendigo @HailsandAles Was it a taco-related incident? Those can be really tricky.

[libramoon@mastodon.social]

@HailsandAles

right after you offer it to the crying person

[falcennial@mastodon.social]

@HailsandAles

[falcennial@mastodon.social]

@surdfish @HailsandAles 🤌

[aethervision@sfba.social]

@HailsandAles Depends on why they were crying. If it’s because they really wanted a hot dog and didn’t have one, I’d distract them to think there was something scary behind them and then eat the hot dog while they were turned around.

[wendigo@metalhead.club]

@_slotek_ @HailsandAles Ha! Nope!

[minego@pdx.social]

@HailsandAles That depends. Why are they crying? Is it because it was their hot dog? If so, you'd better hurry. Don't give them a chance to get it back.

[steeph@queerchen.de]

@HailsandAles After just a few minutes you'll be holding a lukewarm dog and the question will no longer be applicable; ergo solved.

[steeph@queerchen.de]

@HailsandAles I guess it depends on how salty you like your hot dog.

[jorsh@beige.party]

@HailsandAles

There are two schools of thought on this subject. Regarding the first, you should wait approximately two minutes into their crying before quickly and savagely biting into the hot dog and consuming it. The other is to begin immediately, but draw it out over the course of 30 or so seconds. Really play up the slo-mo effect until it's clear that you have disdain for them and their emotions. Happy trails.

[alipunk@thecanadian.social]

@HailsandAles that made me lol

[soundclamp@mastodon.xyz]

@HailsandAles I think as a gesture of concern you have to offer to share the hot dog or risk the dog trying to snatch it.

[scrottie@bsd.network]

@mikemccaffrey @HailsandAles @Binder "may I offer you a topologically ambagious sandwich in this trying time?"

[cfmg@mastodon.social]

@HailsandAles no wait just eat it

[argonaut@mastodon.social]

@HailsandAles @tayfonay as long as you possibly can for your own good, because biting them will probably make them cry longer and perhaps even harder…