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  3. Dark humor is a coping mechanism for dealing with repeated exposure to trauma.

Dark humor is a coping mechanism for dealing with repeated exposure to trauma.

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  • dougwade@mastodon.xyzD dougwade@mastodon.xyz

    @alice oh I see you’re also watching the reign game

    stephaniepixie@fandom.gardenS This user is from outside of this forum
    stephaniepixie@fandom.gardenS This user is from outside of this forum
    stephaniepixie@fandom.garden
    wrote last edited by
    #7

    @dougwade Traumatic only if you’re a reign fan 😅

    dougwade@mastodon.xyzD 1 Reply Last reply
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    • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

      @dougwade reign?

      stephaniepixie@fandom.gardenS This user is from outside of this forum
      stephaniepixie@fandom.gardenS This user is from outside of this forum
      stephaniepixie@fandom.garden
      wrote last edited by
      #8

      @alice @dougwade Sportsball reference

      alice@lgbtqia.spaceA 1 Reply Last reply
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      • stephaniepixie@fandom.gardenS stephaniepixie@fandom.garden

        @alice @dougwade Sportsball reference

        alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
        alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
        alice@lgbtqia.space
        wrote last edited by
        #9

        @stephaniepixie @dougwade ah, I see.

        1 Reply Last reply
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        • stephaniepixie@fandom.gardenS stephaniepixie@fandom.garden

          @dougwade Traumatic only if you’re a reign fan 😅

          dougwade@mastodon.xyzD This user is from outside of this forum
          dougwade@mastodon.xyzD This user is from outside of this forum
          dougwade@mastodon.xyz
          wrote last edited by
          #10

          @stephaniepixie stephanie. the thorns? how could you do this to me?

          stephaniepixie@fandom.gardenS 1 Reply Last reply
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          • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

            Dark humor is a coping mechanism for dealing with repeated exposure to trauma.

            Just FYI.

            peachfiend@mastodon.sdf.orgP This user is from outside of this forum
            peachfiend@mastodon.sdf.orgP This user is from outside of this forum
            peachfiend@mastodon.sdf.org
            wrote last edited by
            #11

            @alice huh. synchronicity is weird.
            i was just telling my partner, then a few days later my therapist, how my depression has changed since coming out. my sarcasm has abated. not entirely. shitposting is still hella fun sometimes. but in difficult conversations when before i may have deflected or redirected with "humor" where i just... don't now. i still catch myself sometimes, but that's 40+ years of muscle memory. i guess most notably, i notice it now. it's no longer automatic.

            1 Reply Last reply
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            • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

              Dark humor is a coping mechanism for dealing with repeated exposure to trauma.

              Just FYI.

              rootwyrm@weird.autosR This user is from outside of this forum
              rootwyrm@weird.autosR This user is from outside of this forum
              rootwyrm@weird.autos
              wrote last edited by
              #12

              @alice ah, that explains my humor.
              The last time someone described it as 'dark,' someone responded roughly: "RootWyrm's humor isn't dark, it is well beyond the event horizon of a black hole. Except funny."

              1 Reply Last reply
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              • dougwade@mastodon.xyzD dougwade@mastodon.xyz

                @stephaniepixie stephanie. the thorns? how could you do this to me?

                stephaniepixie@fandom.gardenS This user is from outside of this forum
                stephaniepixie@fandom.gardenS This user is from outside of this forum
                stephaniepixie@fandom.garden
                wrote last edited by
                #13

                @dougwade Oh no no no. I am not a Thorns fan. Don’t worry 😅 If I had to choose I’d pick Seattle, but I consider Vancouver home (even though I no longer live there) so I have a hard time rooting for either West Coast team.
                Just pointing out the obvious that it’s not traumatic for Portland fans. Forgive me. It was salt on the wound.
                I love Laura Harvey and fiery little dragon 🐟🔒 so I wish them success.

                dougwade@mastodon.xyzD 1 Reply Last reply
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                • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                  Dark humor is a coping mechanism for dealing with repeated exposure to trauma.

                  Just FYI.

                  cerement@social.targaryen.houseC This user is from outside of this forum
                  cerement@social.targaryen.houseC This user is from outside of this forum
                  cerement@social.targaryen.house
                  wrote last edited by
                  #14

                  @alice

                  > “You honestly didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Few people ever cried more than once, if you’d used that up, you laughed.”

                  —Michael David Herr, *Dispatches* (1977) (writing for *Esquire* during Vietnam War)

                  1 Reply Last reply
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                  • stephaniepixie@fandom.gardenS stephaniepixie@fandom.garden

                    @dougwade Oh no no no. I am not a Thorns fan. Don’t worry 😅 If I had to choose I’d pick Seattle, but I consider Vancouver home (even though I no longer live there) so I have a hard time rooting for either West Coast team.
                    Just pointing out the obvious that it’s not traumatic for Portland fans. Forgive me. It was salt on the wound.
                    I love Laura Harvey and fiery little dragon 🐟🔒 so I wish them success.

                    dougwade@mastodon.xyzD This user is from outside of this forum
                    dougwade@mastodon.xyzD This user is from outside of this forum
                    dougwade@mastodon.xyz
                    wrote last edited by
                    #15

                    @stephaniepixie when does nsl kick off? I haven’t followed the league at all, but I love a Cascadia team and could be persuaded to follow Vancouver. Do you still have Themporer Quinn?

                    stephaniepixie@fandom.gardenS 1 Reply Last reply
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                    • dougwade@mastodon.xyzD dougwade@mastodon.xyz

                      @stephaniepixie when does nsl kick off? I haven’t followed the league at all, but I love a Cascadia team and could be persuaded to follow Vancouver. Do you still have Themporer Quinn?

                      stephaniepixie@fandom.gardenS This user is from outside of this forum
                      stephaniepixie@fandom.gardenS This user is from outside of this forum
                      stephaniepixie@fandom.garden
                      wrote last edited by
                      #16

                      @dougwade “Themperor” 😂 I didn’t know anyone used that nickname for Quinn. As far as I know they’re still with the Rise and so is Nikki Stanton. Quinn scored more goals in one season with the Rise than any other club. Not to mention the Rise won the championship in the league’s inaugural season. Very successful.

                      First game of the season will be Friday April 24th in Vancouver vs Toronto AFC (rematch of the playoff final).

                      Some matches are on the league YouTube page but I believe ESPN will air NSL matches again this year in the US.
                      You might catch a few more players who end up transferring over to the NWSL like Holly Ward did for Seattle.

                      Link Preview Image
                      From Breakout Debut to Season Two: Northern Super League Releases 2026 Schedule

                      Canada’s first professional women’s soccer league returns, building on a debut year defined by energy, fierce competition, and fan connectionCANADA — Thursday, February 5, 2026  — Northern Super League today announced its 2026 regular season schedule, returning for a second season after a debut y...

                      favicon

                      NSL - Official site of the Northern Super League (www.nsl.ca)

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                      • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                        Dark humor is a coping mechanism for dealing with repeated exposure to trauma.

                        Just FYI.

                        violet@corteximplant.comV This user is from outside of this forum
                        violet@corteximplant.comV This user is from outside of this forum
                        violet@corteximplant.com
                        wrote last edited by
                        #17

                        @alice This is so important to recognize. I can't count the number of times my gallows humor has had me ostracized when all I was trying to do was echo locate someone who would understand me. Maybe even advocate for me

                        moriel@chaosfem.twM 1 Reply Last reply
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                        • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                          Dark humor is a coping mechanism for dealing with repeated exposure to trauma.

                          Just FYI.

                          azonenberg@ioc.exchangeA This user is from outside of this forum
                          azonenberg@ioc.exchangeA This user is from outside of this forum
                          azonenberg@ioc.exchange
                          wrote last edited by
                          #18

                          @alice Yeeeeeep. Spend a bit of time around firefighters and EMTs and the like and you'll get plenty of it

                          1 Reply Last reply
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                          • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                            Dark humor is a coping mechanism for dealing with repeated exposure to trauma.

                            Just FYI.

                            aprazeth@mstdn.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
                            aprazeth@mstdn.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
                            aprazeth@mstdn.social
                            wrote last edited by
                            #19

                            @alice

                            True, so very painfully true. And I think this apples even, perhaps especially, with the self deprecating kind.

                            Trauma comes in many forms, and almost always produces emotional/physical/psychological scars and thus coping mechanisms. Some of those people may not even realize themselves to be coping mechanisms.

                            🩵

                            1 Reply Last reply
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                            • violet@corteximplant.comV violet@corteximplant.com

                              @alice This is so important to recognize. I can't count the number of times my gallows humor has had me ostracized when all I was trying to do was echo locate someone who would understand me. Maybe even advocate for me

                              moriel@chaosfem.twM This user is from outside of this forum
                              moriel@chaosfem.twM This user is from outside of this forum
                              moriel@chaosfem.tw
                              wrote last edited by
                              #20

                              @violet @alice

                              Oh I LOVE that description!

                              "echo locate someone who would understand me"

                              I'm going to use that from now on!

                              1 Reply Last reply
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                              • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                                Dark humor is a coping mechanism for dealing with repeated exposure to trauma.

                                Just FYI.

                                not_a_label@toot.lgbtN This user is from outside of this forum
                                not_a_label@toot.lgbtN This user is from outside of this forum
                                not_a_label@toot.lgbt
                                wrote last edited by
                                #21

                                @alice my last two exes were ER doctors - can confirm!

                                1 Reply Last reply
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                                • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                                  Dark humor is a coping mechanism for dealing with repeated exposure to trauma.

                                  Just FYI.

                                  cppguy@infosec.spaceC This user is from outside of this forum
                                  cppguy@infosec.spaceC This user is from outside of this forum
                                  cppguy@infosec.space
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #22

                                  @alice

                                  And dark humour can get you ostracised, leading to even more trauma. 😖

                                  cppguy@infosec.spaceC 1 Reply Last reply
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                                  • cppguy@infosec.spaceC cppguy@infosec.space

                                    @alice

                                    And dark humour can get you ostracised, leading to even more trauma. 😖

                                    cppguy@infosec.spaceC This user is from outside of this forum
                                    cppguy@infosec.spaceC This user is from outside of this forum
                                    cppguy@infosec.space
                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #23

                                    @alice

                                    You've made me realise just how much I censor myself, here on Fedi and in meatspace. I keep the dark-humour dial close to zero for fear of alienating people, and I've been doing it for so long that I was no longer even conscious of doing it.

                                    Thanks for today's big insight, Alice. 🙂

                                    alice@lgbtqia.spaceA 1 Reply Last reply
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                                    • cppguy@infosec.spaceC cppguy@infosec.space

                                      @alice

                                      You've made me realise just how much I censor myself, here on Fedi and in meatspace. I keep the dark-humour dial close to zero for fear of alienating people, and I've been doing it for so long that I was no longer even conscious of doing it.

                                      Thanks for today's big insight, Alice. 🙂

                                      alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                                      alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                                      alice@lgbtqia.space
                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #24

                                      @CppGuy gallows humor can be a good bonding response, as long as you keep the self-deprecation at bay, and don't point sarcasm at potential allies.

                                      cppguy@infosec.spaceC 1 Reply Last reply
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                                      • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                                        Dark humor is a coping mechanism for dealing with repeated exposure to trauma.

                                        Just FYI.

                                        randamumaki@mstdn.socialR This user is from outside of this forum
                                        randamumaki@mstdn.socialR This user is from outside of this forum
                                        randamumaki@mstdn.social
                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #25

                                        @alice I like my humour dark, like my coffee, and my chocolate.

                                        1 Reply Last reply
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                                        • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                                          @CppGuy gallows humor can be a good bonding response, as long as you keep the self-deprecation at bay, and don't point sarcasm at potential allies.

                                          cppguy@infosec.spaceC This user is from outside of this forum
                                          cppguy@infosec.spaceC This user is from outside of this forum
                                          cppguy@infosec.space
                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #26

                                          @alice

                                          Heh — I'm not suddenly going to turn it up to eleven. Keeping it muted has served me well for decades. I'm not about to blow everything to smithereens. 😄

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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