Dark humor is a coping mechanism for dealing with repeated exposure to trauma.

[violet@corteximplant.com]

@alice This is so important to recognize. I can't count the number of times my gallows humor has had me ostracized when all I was trying to do was echo locate someone who would understand me. Maybe even advocate for me

[azonenberg@ioc.exchange]

@alice Yeeeeeep. Spend a bit of time around firefighters and EMTs and the like and you'll get plenty of it

[aprazeth@mstdn.social]

@alice

True, so very painfully true. And I think this apples even, perhaps especially, with the self deprecating kind.

Trauma comes in many forms, and almost always produces emotional/physical/psychological scars and thus coping mechanisms. Some of those people may not even realize themselves to be coping mechanisms.

🩵

[moriel@chaosfem.tw]

@violet @alice

Oh I LOVE that description!

"echo locate someone who would understand me"

I'm going to use that from now on!

[not_a_label@toot.lgbt]

@alice my last two exes were ER doctors - can confirm!

[cppguy@infosec.space]

@alice

And dark humour can get you ostracised, leading to even more trauma.

[cppguy@infosec.space]

@alice

You've made me realise just how much I censor myself, here on Fedi and in meatspace. I keep the dark-humour dial close to zero for fear of alienating people, and I've been doing it for so long that I was no longer even conscious of doing it.

Thanks for today's big insight, Alice.

[alice@lgbtqia.space]

@CppGuy gallows humor can be a good bonding response, as long as you keep the self-deprecation at bay, and don't point sarcasm at potential allies.

[randamumaki@mstdn.social]

@alice I like my humour dark, like my coffee, and my chocolate.

[cppguy@infosec.space]

@alice

Heh — I'm not suddenly going to turn it up to eleven. Keeping it muted has served me well for decades. I'm not about to blow everything to smithereens.