Dark humor is a coping mechanism for dealing with repeated exposure to trauma.

[dougwade@mastodon.xyz]

@stephaniepixie stephanie. the thorns? how could you do this to me?

[peachfiend@mastodon.sdf.org]

@alice huh. synchronicity is weird.
i was just telling my partner, then a few days later my therapist, how my depression has changed since coming out. my sarcasm has abated. not entirely. shitposting is still hella fun sometimes. but in difficult conversations when before i may have deflected or redirected with "humor" where i just... don't now. i still catch myself sometimes, but that's 40+ years of muscle memory. i guess most notably, i notice it now. it's no longer automatic.

[rootwyrm@weird.autos]

@alice ah, that explains my humor.
The last time someone described it as 'dark,' someone responded roughly: "RootWyrm's humor isn't dark, it is well beyond the event horizon of a black hole. Except funny."

[stephaniepixie@fandom.garden]

@dougwade Oh no no no. I am not a Thorns fan. Don’t worry If I had to choose I’d pick Seattle, but I consider Vancouver home (even though I no longer live there) so I have a hard time rooting for either West Coast team.
Just pointing out the obvious that it’s not traumatic for Portland fans. Forgive me. It was salt on the wound.
I love Laura Harvey and fiery little dragon so I wish them success.

[cerement@social.targaryen.house]

@alice

> “You honestly didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Few people ever cried more than once, if you’d used that up, you laughed.”

—Michael David Herr, *Dispatches* (1977) (writing for *Esquire* during Vietnam War)

[dougwade@mastodon.xyz]

@stephaniepixie when does nsl kick off? I haven’t followed the league at all, but I love a Cascadia team and could be persuaded to follow Vancouver. Do you still have Themporer Quinn?

[stephaniepixie@fandom.garden]

@dougwade “Themperor” I didn’t know anyone used that nickname for Quinn. As far as I know they’re still with the Rise and so is Nikki Stanton. Quinn scored more goals in one season with the Rise than any other club. Not to mention the Rise won the championship in the league’s inaugural season. Very successful.

First game of the season will be Friday April 24th in Vancouver vs Toronto AFC (rematch of the playoff final).

Some matches are on the league YouTube page but I believe ESPN will air NSL matches again this year in the US.
You might catch a few more players who end up transferring over to the NWSL like Holly Ward did for Seattle.

From Breakout Debut to Season Two: Northern Super League Releases 2026 Schedule

Canada’s first professional women’s soccer league returns, building on a debut year defined by energy, fierce competition, and fan connectionCANADA — Thursday, February 5, 2026  — Northern Super League today announced its 2026 regular season schedule, returning for a second season after a debut y...

NSL - Official site of the Northern Super League (www.nsl.ca)

[violet@corteximplant.com]

@alice This is so important to recognize. I can't count the number of times my gallows humor has had me ostracized when all I was trying to do was echo locate someone who would understand me. Maybe even advocate for me

[azonenberg@ioc.exchange]

@alice Yeeeeeep. Spend a bit of time around firefighters and EMTs and the like and you'll get plenty of it

[aprazeth@mstdn.social]

@alice

True, so very painfully true. And I think this apples even, perhaps especially, with the self deprecating kind.

Trauma comes in many forms, and almost always produces emotional/physical/psychological scars and thus coping mechanisms. Some of those people may not even realize themselves to be coping mechanisms.

🩵

[moriel@chaosfem.tw]

@violet @alice

Oh I LOVE that description!

"echo locate someone who would understand me"

I'm going to use that from now on!

[not_a_label@toot.lgbt]

@alice my last two exes were ER doctors - can confirm!

[cppguy@infosec.space]

@alice

And dark humour can get you ostracised, leading to even more trauma.

[cppguy@infosec.space]

@alice

You've made me realise just how much I censor myself, here on Fedi and in meatspace. I keep the dark-humour dial close to zero for fear of alienating people, and I've been doing it for so long that I was no longer even conscious of doing it.

Thanks for today's big insight, Alice.

[alice@lgbtqia.space]

@CppGuy gallows humor can be a good bonding response, as long as you keep the self-deprecation at bay, and don't point sarcasm at potential allies.

[randamumaki@mstdn.social]

@alice I like my humour dark, like my coffee, and my chocolate.

[cppguy@infosec.space]

@alice

Heh — I'm not suddenly going to turn it up to eleven. Keeping it muted has served me well for decades. I'm not about to blow everything to smithereens.