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  3. There's a person on here sealioning in my mentions about mansplaining and demanding criteria for adjudicating whether any individual comment is or is not mansplaining.

There's a person on here sealioning in my mentions about mansplaining and demanding criteria for adjudicating whether any individual comment is or is not mansplaining.

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  • emilymbender@dair-community.socialE emilymbender@dair-community.social

    There's a person on here sealioning in my mentions about mansplaining and demanding criteria for adjudicating whether any individual comment is or is not mansplaining.

    This is, of course, asking the wrong question: It's asking "How do I defend myself against accusation?" rather than "How do I interact with people (esp women sharing their expertise) respectfully?"

    lisamelton@mastodon.socialL This user is from outside of this forum
    lisamelton@mastodon.socialL This user is from outside of this forum
    lisamelton@mastodon.social
    wrote last edited by
    #6

    @emilymbender Obviously this person is a dude, right? I'm so sorry you're dealing with this bullshit. It just never stops, does it? 🤦‍♀️

    emilymbender@dair-community.socialE airwhale@beige.partyA 2 Replies Last reply
    1
    0
    • R relay@relay.infosec.exchange shared this topic
    • lisamelton@mastodon.socialL lisamelton@mastodon.social

      @emilymbender Obviously this person is a dude, right? I'm so sorry you're dealing with this bullshit. It just never stops, does it? 🤦‍♀️

      emilymbender@dair-community.socialE This user is from outside of this forum
      emilymbender@dair-community.socialE This user is from outside of this forum
      emilymbender@dair-community.social
      wrote last edited by
      #7

      @lisamelton It's endless, and somehow much worse on the Fediverse than elsewhere.

      lisamelton@mastodon.socialL 1 Reply Last reply
      1
      0
      • emilymbender@dair-community.socialE emilymbender@dair-community.social

        There's a person on here sealioning in my mentions about mansplaining and demanding criteria for adjudicating whether any individual comment is or is not mansplaining.

        This is, of course, asking the wrong question: It's asking "How do I defend myself against accusation?" rather than "How do I interact with people (esp women sharing their expertise) respectfully?"

        davey_cakes@mastodon.ieD This user is from outside of this forum
        davey_cakes@mastodon.ieD This user is from outside of this forum
        davey_cakes@mastodon.ie
        wrote last edited by
        #8

        @emilymbender I love your work and I am sorry that some servers will not come and get their men

        benaveling@infosec.exchangeB 1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • emilymbender@dair-community.socialE emilymbender@dair-community.social

          @lisamelton It's endless, and somehow much worse on the Fediverse than elsewhere.

          lisamelton@mastodon.socialL This user is from outside of this forum
          lisamelton@mastodon.socialL This user is from outside of this forum
          lisamelton@mastodon.social
          wrote last edited by
          #9

          @emilymbender Ouch! 😬

          We need to fix this here but I'm not sure how. If I can help in any way please let me know.

          michaelgemar@cosocial.caM 1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • emilymbender@dair-community.socialE emilymbender@dair-community.social

            There's a person on here sealioning in my mentions about mansplaining and demanding criteria for adjudicating whether any individual comment is or is not mansplaining.

            This is, of course, asking the wrong question: It's asking "How do I defend myself against accusation?" rather than "How do I interact with people (esp women sharing their expertise) respectfully?"

            bodling@deacon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
            bodling@deacon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
            bodling@deacon.social
            wrote last edited by
            #10

            @emilymbender I did not know the term sealioning until just now. I've learned something from you today. Thanks.

            classwario@mastodon.socialC 1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • emilymbender@dair-community.socialE emilymbender@dair-community.social

              There's a person on here sealioning in my mentions about mansplaining and demanding criteria for adjudicating whether any individual comment is or is not mansplaining.

              This is, of course, asking the wrong question: It's asking "How do I defend myself against accusation?" rather than "How do I interact with people (esp women sharing their expertise) respectfully?"

              millardjk@vmst.ioM This user is from outside of this forum
              millardjk@vmst.ioM This user is from outside of this forum
              millardjk@vmst.io
              wrote last edited by
              #11

              @emilymbender hmmm… If only someone would publish a flow chart or decision tree that assist in learning?

              Oh. Right. (Scrolls up…)

              1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • R relay@relay.mycrowd.ca shared this topic
              • lisamelton@mastodon.socialL lisamelton@mastodon.social

                @emilymbender Obviously this person is a dude, right? I'm so sorry you're dealing with this bullshit. It just never stops, does it? 🤦‍♀️

                airwhale@beige.partyA This user is from outside of this forum
                airwhale@beige.partyA This user is from outside of this forum
                airwhale@beige.party
                wrote last edited by
                #12

                @lisamelton @emilymbender

                I really hate how "dude" is no longer something cool.

                Re: The Big Lebowski and that excellent 1980 album by Quincy Jones…

                lisamelton@mastodon.socialL 1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • airwhale@beige.partyA airwhale@beige.party

                  @lisamelton @emilymbender

                  I really hate how "dude" is no longer something cool.

                  Re: The Big Lebowski and that excellent 1980 album by Quincy Jones…

                  lisamelton@mastodon.socialL This user is from outside of this forum
                  lisamelton@mastodon.socialL This user is from outside of this forum
                  lisamelton@mastodon.social
                  wrote last edited by
                  #13

                  @airwhale Jeff Bridges is *The* Dude. And he abides.

                  Everyone else? Not so much.

                  So, yeah, it has become a moniker of derision. And it's still a *gendered* moniker. Something I wish the younger generation of women would realize.

                  @emilymbender

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • lisamelton@mastodon.socialL lisamelton@mastodon.social

                    @emilymbender Ouch! 😬

                    We need to fix this here but I'm not sure how. If I can help in any way please let me know.

                    michaelgemar@cosocial.caM This user is from outside of this forum
                    michaelgemar@cosocial.caM This user is from outside of this forum
                    michaelgemar@cosocial.ca
                    wrote last edited by
                    #14

                    @lisamelton @emilymbender Would other dudes calling them out be helpful?

                    lisamelton@mastodon.socialL 1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • michaelgemar@cosocial.caM michaelgemar@cosocial.ca

                      @lisamelton @emilymbender Would other dudes calling them out be helpful?

                      lisamelton@mastodon.socialL This user is from outside of this forum
                      lisamelton@mastodon.socialL This user is from outside of this forum
                      lisamelton@mastodon.social
                      wrote last edited by
                      #15

                      @michaelgemar Yes! 💯

                      It certainly couldn't hurt.

                      @emilymbender

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • davey_cakes@mastodon.ieD davey_cakes@mastodon.ie

                        @emilymbender I love your work and I am sorry that some servers will not come and get their men

                        benaveling@infosec.exchangeB This user is from outside of this forum
                        benaveling@infosec.exchangeB This user is from outside of this forum
                        benaveling@infosec.exchange
                        wrote last edited by
                        #16

                        If it's the account I think it may be, the account either no longer exists, or is at least hidden from public view.
                        @davey_cakes @emilymbender

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • emilymbender@dair-community.socialE emilymbender@dair-community.social

                          There's a person on here sealioning in my mentions about mansplaining and demanding criteria for adjudicating whether any individual comment is or is not mansplaining.

                          This is, of course, asking the wrong question: It's asking "How do I defend myself against accusation?" rather than "How do I interact with people (esp women sharing their expertise) respectfully?"

                          nilajones@zeroes.caN This user is from outside of this forum
                          nilajones@zeroes.caN This user is from outside of this forum
                          nilajones@zeroes.ca
                          wrote last edited by
                          #17

                          @emilymbender

                          Very insightful distinction

                          I'm sorry you're getting all this bullshit

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • emilymbender@dair-community.socialE emilymbender@dair-community.social

                            There's a person on here sealioning in my mentions about mansplaining and demanding criteria for adjudicating whether any individual comment is or is not mansplaining.

                            This is, of course, asking the wrong question: It's asking "How do I defend myself against accusation?" rather than "How do I interact with people (esp women sharing their expertise) respectfully?"

                            whitecattamer@mastodon.onlineW This user is from outside of this forum
                            whitecattamer@mastodon.onlineW This user is from outside of this forum
                            whitecattamer@mastodon.online
                            wrote last edited by
                            #18

                            @emilymbender What’s sad is that I think the root issue is the constant anxiety associated with social media and being read in bad/confused faith, and rather than lean into the “social” aspect of SM and just continue conversations with those that treat you like a person while accepting that flawed human beings will misread you or you’ll misspeak/be wrong but within the tension lies growth, this guy wants the final cheat code to get out of experiencing social disapproval.

                            emilymbender@dair-community.socialE 1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • emilymbender@dair-community.socialE emilymbender@dair-community.social

                              There's a person on here sealioning in my mentions about mansplaining and demanding criteria for adjudicating whether any individual comment is or is not mansplaining.

                              This is, of course, asking the wrong question: It's asking "How do I defend myself against accusation?" rather than "How do I interact with people (esp women sharing their expertise) respectfully?"

                              chronodm@glammr.usC This user is from outside of this forum
                              chronodm@glammr.usC This user is from outside of this forum
                              chronodm@glammr.us
                              wrote last edited by
                              #19

                              @emilymbender @yo_bj looking forward to the same person mansplaining what is or is not sealioning, where by looking forward I mean :headdesk:

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • whitecattamer@mastodon.onlineW whitecattamer@mastodon.online

                                @emilymbender What’s sad is that I think the root issue is the constant anxiety associated with social media and being read in bad/confused faith, and rather than lean into the “social” aspect of SM and just continue conversations with those that treat you like a person while accepting that flawed human beings will misread you or you’ll misspeak/be wrong but within the tension lies growth, this guy wants the final cheat code to get out of experiencing social disapproval.

                                emilymbender@dair-community.socialE This user is from outside of this forum
                                emilymbender@dair-community.socialE This user is from outside of this forum
                                emilymbender@dair-community.social
                                wrote last edited by
                                #20

                                @WhiteCatTamer I read him differently---I don't think he has any anxiety. I think he wants to "prove" that I am wrong for calling someone out for mansplaining (and then calling him out for mansplaining the mansplaining).

                                whitecattamer@mastodon.onlineW 1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • emilymbender@dair-community.socialE emilymbender@dair-community.social

                                  @WhiteCatTamer I read him differently---I don't think he has any anxiety. I think he wants to "prove" that I am wrong for calling someone out for mansplaining (and then calling him out for mansplaining the mansplaining).

                                  whitecattamer@mastodon.onlineW This user is from outside of this forum
                                  whitecattamer@mastodon.onlineW This user is from outside of this forum
                                  whitecattamer@mastodon.online
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #21

                                  @emilymbender Ah, gotcha; swinging right out of the gate. Ugh. Sorry, that’s tiresome. 😕

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • emilymbender@dair-community.socialE emilymbender@dair-community.social

                                    There's a person on here sealioning in my mentions about mansplaining and demanding criteria for adjudicating whether any individual comment is or is not mansplaining.

                                    This is, of course, asking the wrong question: It's asking "How do I defend myself against accusation?" rather than "How do I interact with people (esp women sharing their expertise) respectfully?"

                                    goss@c.imG This user is from outside of this forum
                                    goss@c.imG This user is from outside of this forum
                                    goss@c.im
                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #22

                                    @emilymbender

                                    Every time I experience an exceptional woman I am reminded of the tremendous waste of human potential existing in deeply misogynistic cultures.

                                    Having said that, back in my day, pre Internet Usenet, we already figured this out - dont feed the trolls.

                                    emilymbender@dair-community.socialE zdl@mstdn.socialZ 2 Replies Last reply
                                    0
                                    • goss@c.imG goss@c.im

                                      @emilymbender

                                      Every time I experience an exceptional woman I am reminded of the tremendous waste of human potential existing in deeply misogynistic cultures.

                                      Having said that, back in my day, pre Internet Usenet, we already figured this out - dont feed the trolls.

                                      emilymbender@dair-community.socialE This user is from outside of this forum
                                      emilymbender@dair-community.socialE This user is from outside of this forum
                                      emilymbender@dair-community.social
                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #23

                                      @goss Ah, yet more victim blaming. Just the cherry on top that was needed.

                                      zdl@mstdn.socialZ goss@c.imG 2 Replies Last reply
                                      0
                                      • bodling@deacon.socialB bodling@deacon.social

                                        @emilymbender I did not know the term sealioning until just now. I've learned something from you today. Thanks.

                                        classwario@mastodon.socialC This user is from outside of this forum
                                        classwario@mastodon.socialC This user is from outside of this forum
                                        classwario@mastodon.social
                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #24

                                        @Bodling @emilymbender same! TIL sealioning. TY!

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • goss@c.imG goss@c.im

                                          @emilymbender

                                          Every time I experience an exceptional woman I am reminded of the tremendous waste of human potential existing in deeply misogynistic cultures.

                                          Having said that, back in my day, pre Internet Usenet, we already figured this out - dont feed the trolls.

                                          zdl@mstdn.socialZ This user is from outside of this forum
                                          zdl@mstdn.socialZ This user is from outside of this forum
                                          zdl@mstdn.social
                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #25

                                          @goss @emilymbender I think I shall take this advice.

                                          Consider yourself muted.

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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