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  3. There's a person on here sealioning in my mentions about mansplaining and demanding criteria for adjudicating whether any individual comment is or is not mansplaining.

There's a person on here sealioning in my mentions about mansplaining and demanding criteria for adjudicating whether any individual comment is or is not mansplaining.

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  • emilymbender@dair-community.socialE emilymbender@dair-community.social

    There's a person on here sealioning in my mentions about mansplaining and demanding criteria for adjudicating whether any individual comment is or is not mansplaining.

    This is, of course, asking the wrong question: It's asking "How do I defend myself against accusation?" rather than "How do I interact with people (esp women sharing their expertise) respectfully?"

    millardjk@vmst.ioM This user is from outside of this forum
    millardjk@vmst.ioM This user is from outside of this forum
    millardjk@vmst.io
    wrote last edited by
    #11

    @emilymbender hmmm… If only someone would publish a flow chart or decision tree that assist in learning?

    Oh. Right. (Scrolls up…)

    1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • R relay@relay.mycrowd.ca shared this topic
    • lisamelton@mastodon.socialL lisamelton@mastodon.social

      @emilymbender Obviously this person is a dude, right? I'm so sorry you're dealing with this bullshit. It just never stops, does it? 🤦‍♀️

      airwhale@beige.partyA This user is from outside of this forum
      airwhale@beige.partyA This user is from outside of this forum
      airwhale@beige.party
      wrote last edited by
      #12

      @lisamelton @emilymbender

      I really hate how "dude" is no longer something cool.

      Re: The Big Lebowski and that excellent 1980 album by Quincy Jones…

      lisamelton@mastodon.socialL 1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • airwhale@beige.partyA airwhale@beige.party

        @lisamelton @emilymbender

        I really hate how "dude" is no longer something cool.

        Re: The Big Lebowski and that excellent 1980 album by Quincy Jones…

        lisamelton@mastodon.socialL This user is from outside of this forum
        lisamelton@mastodon.socialL This user is from outside of this forum
        lisamelton@mastodon.social
        wrote last edited by
        #13

        @airwhale Jeff Bridges is *The* Dude. And he abides.

        Everyone else? Not so much.

        So, yeah, it has become a moniker of derision. And it's still a *gendered* moniker. Something I wish the younger generation of women would realize.

        @emilymbender

        1 Reply Last reply
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        • lisamelton@mastodon.socialL lisamelton@mastodon.social

          @emilymbender Ouch! 😬

          We need to fix this here but I'm not sure how. If I can help in any way please let me know.

          michaelgemar@cosocial.caM This user is from outside of this forum
          michaelgemar@cosocial.caM This user is from outside of this forum
          michaelgemar@cosocial.ca
          wrote last edited by
          #14

          @lisamelton @emilymbender Would other dudes calling them out be helpful?

          lisamelton@mastodon.socialL 1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • michaelgemar@cosocial.caM michaelgemar@cosocial.ca

            @lisamelton @emilymbender Would other dudes calling them out be helpful?

            lisamelton@mastodon.socialL This user is from outside of this forum
            lisamelton@mastodon.socialL This user is from outside of this forum
            lisamelton@mastodon.social
            wrote last edited by
            #15

            @michaelgemar Yes! 💯

            It certainly couldn't hurt.

            @emilymbender

            1 Reply Last reply
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            • davey_cakes@mastodon.ieD davey_cakes@mastodon.ie

              @emilymbender I love your work and I am sorry that some servers will not come and get their men

              benaveling@infosec.exchangeB This user is from outside of this forum
              benaveling@infosec.exchangeB This user is from outside of this forum
              benaveling@infosec.exchange
              wrote last edited by
              #16

              If it's the account I think it may be, the account either no longer exists, or is at least hidden from public view.
              @davey_cakes @emilymbender

              1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • emilymbender@dair-community.socialE emilymbender@dair-community.social

                There's a person on here sealioning in my mentions about mansplaining and demanding criteria for adjudicating whether any individual comment is or is not mansplaining.

                This is, of course, asking the wrong question: It's asking "How do I defend myself against accusation?" rather than "How do I interact with people (esp women sharing their expertise) respectfully?"

                nilajones@zeroes.caN This user is from outside of this forum
                nilajones@zeroes.caN This user is from outside of this forum
                nilajones@zeroes.ca
                wrote last edited by
                #17

                @emilymbender

                Very insightful distinction

                I'm sorry you're getting all this bullshit

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • emilymbender@dair-community.socialE emilymbender@dair-community.social

                  There's a person on here sealioning in my mentions about mansplaining and demanding criteria for adjudicating whether any individual comment is or is not mansplaining.

                  This is, of course, asking the wrong question: It's asking "How do I defend myself against accusation?" rather than "How do I interact with people (esp women sharing their expertise) respectfully?"

                  whitecattamer@mastodon.onlineW This user is from outside of this forum
                  whitecattamer@mastodon.onlineW This user is from outside of this forum
                  whitecattamer@mastodon.online
                  wrote last edited by
                  #18

                  @emilymbender What’s sad is that I think the root issue is the constant anxiety associated with social media and being read in bad/confused faith, and rather than lean into the “social” aspect of SM and just continue conversations with those that treat you like a person while accepting that flawed human beings will misread you or you’ll misspeak/be wrong but within the tension lies growth, this guy wants the final cheat code to get out of experiencing social disapproval.

                  emilymbender@dair-community.socialE 1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • emilymbender@dair-community.socialE emilymbender@dair-community.social

                    There's a person on here sealioning in my mentions about mansplaining and demanding criteria for adjudicating whether any individual comment is or is not mansplaining.

                    This is, of course, asking the wrong question: It's asking "How do I defend myself against accusation?" rather than "How do I interact with people (esp women sharing their expertise) respectfully?"

                    chronodm@glammr.usC This user is from outside of this forum
                    chronodm@glammr.usC This user is from outside of this forum
                    chronodm@glammr.us
                    wrote last edited by
                    #19

                    @emilymbender @yo_bj looking forward to the same person mansplaining what is or is not sealioning, where by looking forward I mean :headdesk:

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • whitecattamer@mastodon.onlineW whitecattamer@mastodon.online

                      @emilymbender What’s sad is that I think the root issue is the constant anxiety associated with social media and being read in bad/confused faith, and rather than lean into the “social” aspect of SM and just continue conversations with those that treat you like a person while accepting that flawed human beings will misread you or you’ll misspeak/be wrong but within the tension lies growth, this guy wants the final cheat code to get out of experiencing social disapproval.

                      emilymbender@dair-community.socialE This user is from outside of this forum
                      emilymbender@dair-community.socialE This user is from outside of this forum
                      emilymbender@dair-community.social
                      wrote last edited by
                      #20

                      @WhiteCatTamer I read him differently---I don't think he has any anxiety. I think he wants to "prove" that I am wrong for calling someone out for mansplaining (and then calling him out for mansplaining the mansplaining).

                      whitecattamer@mastodon.onlineW 1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • emilymbender@dair-community.socialE emilymbender@dair-community.social

                        @WhiteCatTamer I read him differently---I don't think he has any anxiety. I think he wants to "prove" that I am wrong for calling someone out for mansplaining (and then calling him out for mansplaining the mansplaining).

                        whitecattamer@mastodon.onlineW This user is from outside of this forum
                        whitecattamer@mastodon.onlineW This user is from outside of this forum
                        whitecattamer@mastodon.online
                        wrote last edited by
                        #21

                        @emilymbender Ah, gotcha; swinging right out of the gate. Ugh. Sorry, that’s tiresome. 😕

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • emilymbender@dair-community.socialE emilymbender@dair-community.social

                          There's a person on here sealioning in my mentions about mansplaining and demanding criteria for adjudicating whether any individual comment is or is not mansplaining.

                          This is, of course, asking the wrong question: It's asking "How do I defend myself against accusation?" rather than "How do I interact with people (esp women sharing their expertise) respectfully?"

                          goss@c.imG This user is from outside of this forum
                          goss@c.imG This user is from outside of this forum
                          goss@c.im
                          wrote last edited by
                          #22

                          @emilymbender

                          Every time I experience an exceptional woman I am reminded of the tremendous waste of human potential existing in deeply misogynistic cultures.

                          Having said that, back in my day, pre Internet Usenet, we already figured this out - dont feed the trolls.

                          emilymbender@dair-community.socialE zdl@mstdn.socialZ 2 Replies Last reply
                          0
                          • goss@c.imG goss@c.im

                            @emilymbender

                            Every time I experience an exceptional woman I am reminded of the tremendous waste of human potential existing in deeply misogynistic cultures.

                            Having said that, back in my day, pre Internet Usenet, we already figured this out - dont feed the trolls.

                            emilymbender@dair-community.socialE This user is from outside of this forum
                            emilymbender@dair-community.socialE This user is from outside of this forum
                            emilymbender@dair-community.social
                            wrote last edited by
                            #23

                            @goss Ah, yet more victim blaming. Just the cherry on top that was needed.

                            zdl@mstdn.socialZ goss@c.imG 2 Replies Last reply
                            0
                            • bodling@deacon.socialB bodling@deacon.social

                              @emilymbender I did not know the term sealioning until just now. I've learned something from you today. Thanks.

                              classwario@mastodon.socialC This user is from outside of this forum
                              classwario@mastodon.socialC This user is from outside of this forum
                              classwario@mastodon.social
                              wrote last edited by
                              #24

                              @Bodling @emilymbender same! TIL sealioning. TY!

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • goss@c.imG goss@c.im

                                @emilymbender

                                Every time I experience an exceptional woman I am reminded of the tremendous waste of human potential existing in deeply misogynistic cultures.

                                Having said that, back in my day, pre Internet Usenet, we already figured this out - dont feed the trolls.

                                zdl@mstdn.socialZ This user is from outside of this forum
                                zdl@mstdn.socialZ This user is from outside of this forum
                                zdl@mstdn.social
                                wrote last edited by
                                #25

                                @goss @emilymbender I think I shall take this advice.

                                Consider yourself muted.

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • emilymbender@dair-community.socialE emilymbender@dair-community.social

                                  @goss Ah, yet more victim blaming. Just the cherry on top that was needed.

                                  zdl@mstdn.socialZ This user is from outside of this forum
                                  zdl@mstdn.socialZ This user is from outside of this forum
                                  zdl@mstdn.social
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #26

                                  @emilymbender @goss Mansplained victim blaming, no less. SMFH.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • emilymbender@dair-community.socialE emilymbender@dair-community.social

                                    @goss Ah, yet more victim blaming. Just the cherry on top that was needed.

                                    goss@c.imG This user is from outside of this forum
                                    goss@c.imG This user is from outside of this forum
                                    goss@c.im
                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #27

                                    @emilymbender
                                    Not at all.
                                    Bye

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • emilymbender@dair-community.socialE emilymbender@dair-community.social

                                      There's a person on here sealioning in my mentions about mansplaining and demanding criteria for adjudicating whether any individual comment is or is not mansplaining.

                                      This is, of course, asking the wrong question: It's asking "How do I defend myself against accusation?" rather than "How do I interact with people (esp women sharing their expertise) respectfully?"

                                      vwdasher@mymasto.comV This user is from outside of this forum
                                      vwdasher@mymasto.comV This user is from outside of this forum
                                      vwdasher@mymasto.com
                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #28

                                      @emilymbender those people deserve the mute or block button

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • emilymbender@dair-community.socialE emilymbender@dair-community.social

                                        There's a person on here sealioning in my mentions about mansplaining and demanding criteria for adjudicating whether any individual comment is or is not mansplaining.

                                        This is, of course, asking the wrong question: It's asking "How do I defend myself against accusation?" rather than "How do I interact with people (esp women sharing their expertise) respectfully?"

                                        bebef@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                                        bebef@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                                        bebef@mastodon.social
                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #29

                                        @emilymbender I sometimes have problems getting social cues or "read the room". Also, I sometimes might tend to infodumping.

                                        My takeaway on many things it to simply hold back and shut up. I have no idea if that's always the right thing to do, but that's what I took away from it.

                                        My #mansplaining takeaway is: never explain anything to anyone, unless being explicitly asked to.

                                        I honestly wonder how that works for shy people or those who don't want to seem dumb for asking. (Could also be me).

                                        bebef@mastodon.socialB 1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • bebef@mastodon.socialB bebef@mastodon.social

                                          @emilymbender I sometimes have problems getting social cues or "read the room". Also, I sometimes might tend to infodumping.

                                          My takeaway on many things it to simply hold back and shut up. I have no idea if that's always the right thing to do, but that's what I took away from it.

                                          My #mansplaining takeaway is: never explain anything to anyone, unless being explicitly asked to.

                                          I honestly wonder how that works for shy people or those who don't want to seem dumb for asking. (Could also be me).

                                          bebef@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                                          bebef@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                                          bebef@mastodon.social
                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #30

                                          @emilymbender Would never call myself #actuallyautistic as I never was diagnosed or anything, but there are tendencies. And all this social stuff sometimes is kinda hard for me.

                                          bebef@mastodon.socialB 1 Reply Last reply
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