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  3. There's a person on here sealioning in my mentions about mansplaining and demanding criteria for adjudicating whether any individual comment is or is not mansplaining.

There's a person on here sealioning in my mentions about mansplaining and demanding criteria for adjudicating whether any individual comment is or is not mansplaining.

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  • emilymbender@dair-community.socialE emilymbender@dair-community.social

    There's a person on here sealioning in my mentions about mansplaining and demanding criteria for adjudicating whether any individual comment is or is not mansplaining.

    This is, of course, asking the wrong question: It's asking "How do I defend myself against accusation?" rather than "How do I interact with people (esp women sharing their expertise) respectfully?"

    nilajones@zeroes.caN This user is from outside of this forum
    nilajones@zeroes.caN This user is from outside of this forum
    nilajones@zeroes.ca
    wrote last edited by
    #17

    @emilymbender

    Very insightful distinction

    I'm sorry you're getting all this bullshit

    1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • emilymbender@dair-community.socialE emilymbender@dair-community.social

      There's a person on here sealioning in my mentions about mansplaining and demanding criteria for adjudicating whether any individual comment is or is not mansplaining.

      This is, of course, asking the wrong question: It's asking "How do I defend myself against accusation?" rather than "How do I interact with people (esp women sharing their expertise) respectfully?"

      whitecattamer@mastodon.onlineW This user is from outside of this forum
      whitecattamer@mastodon.onlineW This user is from outside of this forum
      whitecattamer@mastodon.online
      wrote last edited by
      #18

      @emilymbender What’s sad is that I think the root issue is the constant anxiety associated with social media and being read in bad/confused faith, and rather than lean into the “social” aspect of SM and just continue conversations with those that treat you like a person while accepting that flawed human beings will misread you or you’ll misspeak/be wrong but within the tension lies growth, this guy wants the final cheat code to get out of experiencing social disapproval.

      emilymbender@dair-community.socialE 1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • emilymbender@dair-community.socialE emilymbender@dair-community.social

        There's a person on here sealioning in my mentions about mansplaining and demanding criteria for adjudicating whether any individual comment is or is not mansplaining.

        This is, of course, asking the wrong question: It's asking "How do I defend myself against accusation?" rather than "How do I interact with people (esp women sharing their expertise) respectfully?"

        chronodm@glammr.usC This user is from outside of this forum
        chronodm@glammr.usC This user is from outside of this forum
        chronodm@glammr.us
        wrote last edited by
        #19

        @emilymbender @yo_bj looking forward to the same person mansplaining what is or is not sealioning, where by looking forward I mean :headdesk:

        1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • whitecattamer@mastodon.onlineW whitecattamer@mastodon.online

          @emilymbender What’s sad is that I think the root issue is the constant anxiety associated with social media and being read in bad/confused faith, and rather than lean into the “social” aspect of SM and just continue conversations with those that treat you like a person while accepting that flawed human beings will misread you or you’ll misspeak/be wrong but within the tension lies growth, this guy wants the final cheat code to get out of experiencing social disapproval.

          emilymbender@dair-community.socialE This user is from outside of this forum
          emilymbender@dair-community.socialE This user is from outside of this forum
          emilymbender@dair-community.social
          wrote last edited by
          #20

          @WhiteCatTamer I read him differently---I don't think he has any anxiety. I think he wants to "prove" that I am wrong for calling someone out for mansplaining (and then calling him out for mansplaining the mansplaining).

          whitecattamer@mastodon.onlineW 1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • emilymbender@dair-community.socialE emilymbender@dair-community.social

            @WhiteCatTamer I read him differently---I don't think he has any anxiety. I think he wants to "prove" that I am wrong for calling someone out for mansplaining (and then calling him out for mansplaining the mansplaining).

            whitecattamer@mastodon.onlineW This user is from outside of this forum
            whitecattamer@mastodon.onlineW This user is from outside of this forum
            whitecattamer@mastodon.online
            wrote last edited by
            #21

            @emilymbender Ah, gotcha; swinging right out of the gate. Ugh. Sorry, that’s tiresome. 😕

            1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • emilymbender@dair-community.socialE emilymbender@dair-community.social

              There's a person on here sealioning in my mentions about mansplaining and demanding criteria for adjudicating whether any individual comment is or is not mansplaining.

              This is, of course, asking the wrong question: It's asking "How do I defend myself against accusation?" rather than "How do I interact with people (esp women sharing their expertise) respectfully?"

              goss@c.imG This user is from outside of this forum
              goss@c.imG This user is from outside of this forum
              goss@c.im
              wrote last edited by
              #22

              @emilymbender

              Every time I experience an exceptional woman I am reminded of the tremendous waste of human potential existing in deeply misogynistic cultures.

              Having said that, back in my day, pre Internet Usenet, we already figured this out - dont feed the trolls.

              emilymbender@dair-community.socialE zdl@mstdn.socialZ 2 Replies Last reply
              0
              • goss@c.imG goss@c.im

                @emilymbender

                Every time I experience an exceptional woman I am reminded of the tremendous waste of human potential existing in deeply misogynistic cultures.

                Having said that, back in my day, pre Internet Usenet, we already figured this out - dont feed the trolls.

                emilymbender@dair-community.socialE This user is from outside of this forum
                emilymbender@dair-community.socialE This user is from outside of this forum
                emilymbender@dair-community.social
                wrote last edited by
                #23

                @goss Ah, yet more victim blaming. Just the cherry on top that was needed.

                zdl@mstdn.socialZ goss@c.imG 2 Replies Last reply
                0
                • bodling@deacon.socialB bodling@deacon.social

                  @emilymbender I did not know the term sealioning until just now. I've learned something from you today. Thanks.

                  classwario@mastodon.socialC This user is from outside of this forum
                  classwario@mastodon.socialC This user is from outside of this forum
                  classwario@mastodon.social
                  wrote last edited by
                  #24

                  @Bodling @emilymbender same! TIL sealioning. TY!

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • goss@c.imG goss@c.im

                    @emilymbender

                    Every time I experience an exceptional woman I am reminded of the tremendous waste of human potential existing in deeply misogynistic cultures.

                    Having said that, back in my day, pre Internet Usenet, we already figured this out - dont feed the trolls.

                    zdl@mstdn.socialZ This user is from outside of this forum
                    zdl@mstdn.socialZ This user is from outside of this forum
                    zdl@mstdn.social
                    wrote last edited by
                    #25

                    @goss @emilymbender I think I shall take this advice.

                    Consider yourself muted.

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • emilymbender@dair-community.socialE emilymbender@dair-community.social

                      @goss Ah, yet more victim blaming. Just the cherry on top that was needed.

                      zdl@mstdn.socialZ This user is from outside of this forum
                      zdl@mstdn.socialZ This user is from outside of this forum
                      zdl@mstdn.social
                      wrote last edited by
                      #26

                      @emilymbender @goss Mansplained victim blaming, no less. SMFH.

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • emilymbender@dair-community.socialE emilymbender@dair-community.social

                        @goss Ah, yet more victim blaming. Just the cherry on top that was needed.

                        goss@c.imG This user is from outside of this forum
                        goss@c.imG This user is from outside of this forum
                        goss@c.im
                        wrote last edited by
                        #27

                        @emilymbender
                        Not at all.
                        Bye

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • emilymbender@dair-community.socialE emilymbender@dair-community.social

                          There's a person on here sealioning in my mentions about mansplaining and demanding criteria for adjudicating whether any individual comment is or is not mansplaining.

                          This is, of course, asking the wrong question: It's asking "How do I defend myself against accusation?" rather than "How do I interact with people (esp women sharing their expertise) respectfully?"

                          vwdasher@mymasto.comV This user is from outside of this forum
                          vwdasher@mymasto.comV This user is from outside of this forum
                          vwdasher@mymasto.com
                          wrote last edited by
                          #28

                          @emilymbender those people deserve the mute or block button

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • emilymbender@dair-community.socialE emilymbender@dair-community.social

                            There's a person on here sealioning in my mentions about mansplaining and demanding criteria for adjudicating whether any individual comment is or is not mansplaining.

                            This is, of course, asking the wrong question: It's asking "How do I defend myself against accusation?" rather than "How do I interact with people (esp women sharing their expertise) respectfully?"

                            bebef@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                            bebef@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                            bebef@mastodon.social
                            wrote last edited by
                            #29

                            @emilymbender I sometimes have problems getting social cues or "read the room". Also, I sometimes might tend to infodumping.

                            My takeaway on many things it to simply hold back and shut up. I have no idea if that's always the right thing to do, but that's what I took away from it.

                            My #mansplaining takeaway is: never explain anything to anyone, unless being explicitly asked to.

                            I honestly wonder how that works for shy people or those who don't want to seem dumb for asking. (Could also be me).

                            bebef@mastodon.socialB 1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • bebef@mastodon.socialB bebef@mastodon.social

                              @emilymbender I sometimes have problems getting social cues or "read the room". Also, I sometimes might tend to infodumping.

                              My takeaway on many things it to simply hold back and shut up. I have no idea if that's always the right thing to do, but that's what I took away from it.

                              My #mansplaining takeaway is: never explain anything to anyone, unless being explicitly asked to.

                              I honestly wonder how that works for shy people or those who don't want to seem dumb for asking. (Could also be me).

                              bebef@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                              bebef@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                              bebef@mastodon.social
                              wrote last edited by
                              #30

                              @emilymbender Would never call myself #actuallyautistic as I never was diagnosed or anything, but there are tendencies. And all this social stuff sometimes is kinda hard for me.

                              bebef@mastodon.socialB 1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • bebef@mastodon.socialB bebef@mastodon.social

                                @emilymbender Would never call myself #actuallyautistic as I never was diagnosed or anything, but there are tendencies. And all this social stuff sometimes is kinda hard for me.

                                bebef@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                                bebef@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                                bebef@mastodon.social
                                wrote last edited by
                                #31

                                @emilymbender Shit. Did I just #mansplain this? Nobody asked me. Serious question, I have no clue. 😭

                                1 Reply Last reply
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                                • wobweger@mstdn.socialW wobweger@mstdn.social

                                  @emilymbender

                                  a useful flowchart for the guy,
                                  little hint his decision is bottom left.

                                  Link Preview Image
                                  Prof. Sam Lawler (@sundogplanets@mastodon.social)

                                  Attached: 1 image I am... really tempted to pin this to the top of my account... Print it and put it on my office door... send it as my email signature... wear it around my neck at conferences.... https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20180727-mansplaining-explained-in-one-chart

                                  favicon

                                  Mastodon (mastodon.social)

                                  michcampbell@fediscience.orgM This user is from outside of this forum
                                  michcampbell@fediscience.orgM This user is from outside of this forum
                                  michcampbell@fediscience.org
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #32

                                  @wobweger @emilymbender i posted this this week and ended up with a bunch of bad faith takes from men who completely missed the point. The internet is a tiresome place.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • wobweger@mstdn.socialW wobweger@mstdn.social

                                    @emilymbender

                                    a useful flowchart for the guy,
                                    little hint his decision is bottom left.

                                    Link Preview Image
                                    Prof. Sam Lawler (@sundogplanets@mastodon.social)

                                    Attached: 1 image I am... really tempted to pin this to the top of my account... Print it and put it on my office door... send it as my email signature... wear it around my neck at conferences.... https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20180727-mansplaining-explained-in-one-chart

                                    favicon

                                    Mastodon (mastodon.social)

                                    oblomov@sociale.networkO This user is from outside of this forum
                                    oblomov@sociale.networkO This user is from outside of this forum
                                    oblomov@sociale.network
                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #33

                                    @wobweger @emilymbender

                                    I get a feeling that the flowchart could benefit from an additional arrow from the title to the “Probably”, marked “if you have to ask”

                                    1 Reply Last reply
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