I woke up still pondering @girlonthenet's lamentation (I think; https://mastodon.social/@girlonthenet/116353766078817354), that while lots of people enjoy her sex blog, few people boost her toots about it.
-
I woke up still pondering @girlonthenet's lamentation (I think; https://mastodon.social/@girlonthenet/116353766078817354), that while lots of people enjoy her sex blog, few people boost her toots about it.
I follow and chat with quite a lot of sex positive / sex-related people here, and many have expressed similar sentiments. It must be demoralising.
I don't have good ideas here, but it would be such a shame to lose this wonderful diverse friendly bunch of creative people.
@neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.uk @girlonthenet@mastodon.social in my case, the reason is a little different - I enjoy the life-posting, commentary, and other sex-positivity content, but I don't care for audio porn so I just ignore all those posts.
-
@neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.uk @girlonthenet@mastodon.social in my case, the reason is a little different - I enjoy the life-posting, commentary, and other sex-positivity content, but I don't care for audio porn so I just ignore all those posts.
@hazelnoot @girlonthenet Fair enough

-
@neil speaking as a woman who used to be on Twitter, I learned pretty early on not to mention anything that could be even remotely construed as sexual on the internet because it immediately attracted a lot of the kind of attention I didn't want. Mastodon seems a lot better but I don't know if that genuinely is a platform thing or just that I'm in my forties now so have aged out of the bracket creeps like to hit on. It's shit, women are full human beings too who like sex as much as anyone else and in an ideal world we'd talk about it as much as we talk about our jobs or hobbies or pets, but my early experiences on the internet taught me that if you express any interest in anything remotely sexual a dozen sleazy men will suddenly assume you want to be sexual with them.
@afewbugs @neil Big yep!
Twitter, was pre transition time (young woman in looks)/under 40 time for me, plus I had a public facing job in cis male dominated spaces (though that's changed some due to the work I did). Plus, I was known for being a killjoy feminist (see the work). I've always been sex positive and openly bisexual, but toned it way down and would never boost something clearly NSFW then.
Slowly undoing that because that's never been who I am. -
I woke up still pondering @girlonthenet's lamentation (I think; https://mastodon.social/@girlonthenet/116353766078817354), that while lots of people enjoy her sex blog, few people boost her toots about it.
I follow and chat with quite a lot of sex positive / sex-related people here, and many have expressed similar sentiments. It must be demoralising.
I don't have good ideas here, but it would be such a shame to lose this wonderful diverse friendly bunch of creative people.
@neil @girlonthenet I don't boost it because I can't read it. The OSA region blocking does quite a number if I can't read the articles at the moment.
-
@neil @girlonthenet I don't boost it because I can't read it. The OSA region blocking does quite a number if I can't read the articles at the moment.
Oh, that absolutely leads to fragmentation!
(I know that a fair few people block images and audio; perhaps some block the text too?)
-
Oh, that absolutely leads to fragmentation!
(I know that a fair few people block images and audio; perhaps some block the text too?)
@neil @girlonthenet I'm actually mistaken. The articles are accessible, the audio isn't. I think I had it in my head the articles were self blocked as well. I'll read some when I can~ and if I like any, i'll share em~
-
I suspect that it comes down to a mix of:
* stigma about sex as pleasure / being embarrassed about what others here might think
* concerns relating to professional expectations and obligations
* sex as being in the sphere of one's private life
I can understand each of these, and why they might lead to a "like" rather than a "boost".
None of them inhibit paying or tipping someone, as a thank you for their work though, which is another way of being supportive.
@neil
There is possibly another reason that you haven't considered that I am definitely guilty of.
I get fed up of boosts from people boosting stuff from people that I already follow cluttering up my timeline and I generally tend to assume that because I follow all the cool people that everyone I follow also follows them, so I don't boost that much.
I should perhaps re-evaluate my approach because I have discovered many cool people and things from people boosting people I don't already follow. -
@neil
There is possibly another reason that you haven't considered that I am definitely guilty of.
I get fed up of boosts from people boosting stuff from people that I already follow cluttering up my timeline and I generally tend to assume that because I follow all the cool people that everyone I follow also follows them, so I don't boost that much.
I should perhaps re-evaluate my approach because I have discovered many cool people and things from people boosting people I don't already follow.@jamesb Ooh, interesting. Yes, you are right, I had not considered that.
And this may be where different people have different experiences - I find loads of interesting people tooting loads of interesting things, based on what other people have boosted.
I do appreciate the ability to turn off boots for a given person, though.
-
@jamesb Ooh, interesting. Yes, you are right, I had not considered that.
And this may be where different people have different experiences - I find loads of interesting people tooting loads of interesting things, based on what other people have boosted.
I do appreciate the ability to turn off boots for a given person, though.
@neil
What would be useful in a Fedi client would be the ability to hide the boosts of accounts you already follow. That would certainly solve that problem, but then it would also hide people boosting their own old stuff which can occasionally be interesting. -
@neil
There is possibly another reason that you haven't considered that I am definitely guilty of.
I get fed up of boosts from people boosting stuff from people that I already follow cluttering up my timeline and I generally tend to assume that because I follow all the cool people that everyone I follow also follows them, so I don't boost that much.
I should perhaps re-evaluate my approach because I have discovered many cool people and things from people boosting people I don't already follow.@jamesb yes I am chuckling at having the gall to boost this toot. *snigger*
-
@jamesb yes I am chuckling at having the gall to boost this toot. *snigger*
@dan
But nobody follows me because I'm not one of the Fediverse cool kids so that doesn't quite work. -
@neil
What would be useful in a Fedi client would be the ability to hide the boosts of accounts you already follow. That would certainly solve that problem, but then it would also hide people boosting their own old stuff which can occasionally be interesting. -
@alexisbushnell
Hosting social media while British, a prosecutable offense...That's truly sad and I can see why someone who hosts a server would think about those considerations, but as a user I don't think posting adult content is prosecutable in the UK yet, is it? Provided the adult content is consensual, not stolen, etc.
Maybe having an alt account in a non-British server for the adult stuff could be an option, while keeping the local community posts in the British servers? -
> most kink is illegal in the UK
I am rather sceptical of this!
Some, for sure, but I'd be surprised by "most"!
-
> most kink is illegal in the UK
I am rather sceptical of this!
Some, for sure, but I'd be surprised by "most"!
Given the very vibrant kink scene in London, I also am rather skeptical of this, but I would be interested to hear your experiences if you have any first or second-hand knowledge of people in the UK getting in trouble with the law for sharing or hosting consensual kink content online.
-
I woke up still pondering @girlonthenet's lamentation (I think; https://mastodon.social/@girlonthenet/116353766078817354), that while lots of people enjoy her sex blog, few people boost her toots about it.
I follow and chat with quite a lot of sex positive / sex-related people here, and many have expressed similar sentiments. It must be demoralising.
I don't have good ideas here, but it would be such a shame to lose this wonderful diverse friendly bunch of creative people.
@neil @girlonthenet as there’s no algorithm, there doesn’t seem much point boosting things unless you have followers.
-
Given the very vibrant kink scene in London, I also am rather skeptical of this, but I would be interested to hear your experiences if you have any first or second-hand knowledge of people in the UK getting in trouble with the law for sharing or hosting consensual kink content online.
@joykill @neil
Apologies if this is way more than you were anticipating/wanted but...sources: I am a UK based kinkster in the scene for 20 years who also runs community events & is actively involved in community safety.
Also a UK based lawyer who is also a kinkster and has writings on Fetlife about this along with the legal realities of being actively engaged in kink in the UK.
Sources from his writing:1/
-
@joykill @neil
Apologies if this is way more than you were anticipating/wanted but...sources: I am a UK based kinkster in the scene for 20 years who also runs community events & is actively involved in community safety.
Also a UK based lawyer who is also a kinkster and has writings on Fetlife about this along with the legal realities of being actively engaged in kink in the UK.
Sources from his writing:1/
@joykill @neil The Spanner Case & House of Lords judgement (yes 1987 & influenced by them being gay but it is precedent & now binding): https://www.bailii.org/uk/cases/UKHL/1993/19.html
R. v. Wilson 1996: https://www.lawteacher.net/cases/consent-wilson.php
R. v. Emmett 1999: https://www.bailii.org/ew/cases/EWCA/Crim/1999/1710.html2/
-
@joykill @neil The Spanner Case & House of Lords judgement (yes 1987 & influenced by them being gay but it is precedent & now binding): https://www.bailii.org/uk/cases/UKHL/1993/19.html
R. v. Wilson 1996: https://www.lawteacher.net/cases/consent-wilson.php
R. v. Emmett 1999: https://www.bailii.org/ew/cases/EWCA/Crim/1999/1710.html2/
@joykill @neil The Domestic Abuse Act 2021 "If you cause someone else serious harm, then it is not a defence that the person consented to it. Serious harm has the same meaning as for s.75A of the SCA (anything from actual bodily harm upwards, so bruises are in scope)."
https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2021/17/contentsAlso many kink focused sex worker friends who have had to change what content they create to avoid
Also the government: https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/domestic-abuse-bill-2020-factsheets/consent-to-serious-harm-for-sexual-gratification-not-a-defence .
3/3
-
Given the very vibrant kink scene in London, I also am rather skeptical of this, but I would be interested to hear your experiences if you have any first or second-hand knowledge of people in the UK getting in trouble with the law for sharing or hosting consensual kink content online.
> first or second-hand knowledge of people in the UK getting in trouble with the law for sharing or hosting consensual kink content online
Specifically online, I can think of case law around obscenity, and around images depicting illegal acts (in the sense of extreme pornography), but not about, say, a foot fetish.
