I woke up still pondering @girlonthenet's lamentation (I think; https://mastodon.social/@girlonthenet/116353766078817354), that while lots of people enjoy her sex blog, few people boost her toots about it.
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Hmm... I wonder (I told you that I was pondering!) if there is an added factor here, of the fedi demographic: of older people, perhaps especially men (don't laugh), being self-aware of engaging with younger adults posting sex-related stuff, and coming across as creepy. Perhaps?
@neil I think this is a big part of it for me. I follow some of the people you've tagged, and I've purchased (non-NSFW) artwork from at least one of them, but I would be very wary of highlighting NSFW material from anyone, especially younger than me, in case it was misconstrued.
There is also a part of me that thinks, even though none of my patients are likely to find me here, what they might think if they saw their doctor boosting that sort of material.
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If you have got this far, perhaps you would welcome some suggestions for fedizens who I follow, who post sex-related stuff.
@girlonthenet: the queen of text and audio smut, with multiple books under her belt too.
@mindpersephone: short form text, often sci-fi and genderqueer.
@JenJen: beautiful hand drawn smut, interspersed with rants about Linux.
@alice: more lockpicking than smut, but smut is there, and especially #AltAfterDark.
Newer to me:
@Jaimieserotica: a relatively new blogger, with a mix of fiction and non-fiction (I think!)
@GoingDownWithSundial: another relatively new smut blogger, also touching on neurodiversity
(And, look, I apologise in advance for the people who I will inevitably omit by accident; it is not personal, I am simply fallible. I have not included people who post nudes because that doesn't necessarily mean "sexual".
By all means add your own suggestions / your own blog / self-promotion.)
@neil @girlonthenet @mindpersephone @JenJen @alice @Jaimieserotica @GoingDownWithSundial for me it's risk of a negative response from parents. I am a Scout leader and have been PTA chair of my local primary. I wish to continue to contribute to my community and not get 'cancelled' by those with different opinions about sex and life!
I guess I need an alt account
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Hmm... I wonder (I told you that I was pondering!) if there is an added factor here, of the fedi demographic: of older people, perhaps especially men (don't laugh), being self-aware of engaging with younger adults posting sex-related stuff, and coming across as creepy. Perhaps?
@neil Fear of appearing creepy is an important factor in my interactions. Old white guy, I probably shouldn't be here, so I stay shut. It's a bit similar in real-life interactions with young people. I worry that talking about sex – the fascinating, the ugly aspects of it – will be misunderstood as an attempt to hit on someone. One of the ways out I see is to talk about biology. Ducks. Frogs. Bees. Not creepy at all
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I woke up still pondering @girlonthenet's lamentation (I think; https://mastodon.social/@girlonthenet/116353766078817354), that while lots of people enjoy her sex blog, few people boost her toots about it.
I follow and chat with quite a lot of sex positive / sex-related people here, and many have expressed similar sentiments. It must be demoralising.
I don't have good ideas here, but it would be such a shame to lose this wonderful diverse friendly bunch of creative people.
@neil It prob has a lot to do with folks who have a separate After Dark account on the Fedis like I do, and because the line between those can be pretty solid separation between those parts of the Fedi for the most part
Mostly in the sense that the lewd content is not the intended consumption of the SFW side of someone given it's a more sensitive topic that isn't more common palance of today
The sense that even if content warned, isn't something seen as a positive for the known audience of someone's SFW place where this is not the case on someone's AD where everyone generally has engaged with the permission structure to be intentionally and massively horny (but still provide those CWs) with each other as part of a community
Allowing for both casual and paid sex work to intermingle in a sex positive space, all while under being under Fediverse instances which openly allow lewd and sexual content which other instances may strongly restrict, forcing it to move to that other instance
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@neil It prob has a lot to do with folks who have a separate After Dark account on the Fedis like I do, and because the line between those can be pretty solid separation between those parts of the Fedi for the most part
Mostly in the sense that the lewd content is not the intended consumption of the SFW side of someone given it's a more sensitive topic that isn't more common palance of today
The sense that even if content warned, isn't something seen as a positive for the known audience of someone's SFW place where this is not the case on someone's AD where everyone generally has engaged with the permission structure to be intentionally and massively horny (but still provide those CWs) with each other as part of a community
Allowing for both casual and paid sex work to intermingle in a sex positive space, all while under being under Fediverse instances which openly allow lewd and sexual content which other instances may strongly restrict, forcing it to move to that other instance
@neil But also that separation allows you to opt out of that content easily when viewing that content is not at an ideal moment, having a feed where you don't need to scroll back down to see your mutual's latest artsy nude is actually really powerful as a thing (even if yes lists exist), it's a permission and perception thing.
As well as the anxiety of what other people incl. new people think about it as it comes across their feeds or searching through your profile before following
As much as I could post a visually beautiful dick pic with CWs on a Fedi server that allows it, the implication of that on the people who already follow me or could follow me, pushes it away into that other account where the permission structure allows me to engage with that way and other people can respond positively to that
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Hmm... I wonder (I told you that I was pondering!) if there is an added factor here, of the fedi demographic: of older people, perhaps especially men (don't laugh), being self-aware of engaging with younger adults posting sex-related stuff, and coming across as creepy. Perhaps?
@neil Definitely a factor imho.
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If you have got this far, perhaps you would welcome some suggestions for fedizens who I follow, who post sex-related stuff.
@girlonthenet: the queen of text and audio smut, with multiple books under her belt too.
@mindpersephone: short form text, often sci-fi and genderqueer.
@JenJen: beautiful hand drawn smut, interspersed with rants about Linux.
@alice: more lockpicking than smut, but smut is there, and especially #AltAfterDark.
Newer to me:
@Jaimieserotica: a relatively new blogger, with a mix of fiction and non-fiction (I think!)
@GoingDownWithSundial: another relatively new smut blogger, also touching on neurodiversity
(And, look, I apologise in advance for the people who I will inevitably omit by accident; it is not personal, I am simply fallible. I have not included people who post nudes because that doesn't necessarily mean "sexual".
By all means add your own suggestions / your own blog / self-promotion.)
@neil all good recommendations, but the hashtag is #AltAfterDark (like the account @AltAfterDark) 🩷
@girlonthenet @mindpersephone @JenJen @Jaimieserotica @GoingDownWithSundial
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@neil all good recommendations, but the hashtag is #AltAfterDark (like the account @AltAfterDark) 🩷
@girlonthenet @mindpersephone @JenJen @Jaimieserotica @GoingDownWithSundial
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I woke up still pondering @girlonthenet's lamentation (I think; https://mastodon.social/@girlonthenet/116353766078817354), that while lots of people enjoy her sex blog, few people boost her toots about it.
I follow and chat with quite a lot of sex positive / sex-related people here, and many have expressed similar sentiments. It must be demoralising.
I don't have good ideas here, but it would be such a shame to lose this wonderful diverse friendly bunch of creative people.
@neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.uk @girlonthenet@mastodon.social in my case, the reason is a little different - I enjoy the life-posting, commentary, and other sex-positivity content, but I don't care for audio porn so I just ignore all those posts.
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@neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.uk @girlonthenet@mastodon.social in my case, the reason is a little different - I enjoy the life-posting, commentary, and other sex-positivity content, but I don't care for audio porn so I just ignore all those posts.
@hazelnoot @girlonthenet Fair enough
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@neil speaking as a woman who used to be on Twitter, I learned pretty early on not to mention anything that could be even remotely construed as sexual on the internet because it immediately attracted a lot of the kind of attention I didn't want. Mastodon seems a lot better but I don't know if that genuinely is a platform thing or just that I'm in my forties now so have aged out of the bracket creeps like to hit on. It's shit, women are full human beings too who like sex as much as anyone else and in an ideal world we'd talk about it as much as we talk about our jobs or hobbies or pets, but my early experiences on the internet taught me that if you express any interest in anything remotely sexual a dozen sleazy men will suddenly assume you want to be sexual with them.
@afewbugs @neil Big yep!
Twitter, was pre transition time (young woman in looks)/under 40 time for me, plus I had a public facing job in cis male dominated spaces (though that's changed some due to the work I did). Plus, I was known for being a killjoy feminist (see the work). I've always been sex positive and openly bisexual, but toned it way down and would never boost something clearly NSFW then.
Slowly undoing that because that's never been who I am. -
I woke up still pondering @girlonthenet's lamentation (I think; https://mastodon.social/@girlonthenet/116353766078817354), that while lots of people enjoy her sex blog, few people boost her toots about it.
I follow and chat with quite a lot of sex positive / sex-related people here, and many have expressed similar sentiments. It must be demoralising.
I don't have good ideas here, but it would be such a shame to lose this wonderful diverse friendly bunch of creative people.
@neil @girlonthenet I don't boost it because I can't read it. The OSA region blocking does quite a number if I can't read the articles at the moment.
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@neil @girlonthenet I don't boost it because I can't read it. The OSA region blocking does quite a number if I can't read the articles at the moment.
Oh, that absolutely leads to fragmentation!
(I know that a fair few people block images and audio; perhaps some block the text too?)
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Oh, that absolutely leads to fragmentation!
(I know that a fair few people block images and audio; perhaps some block the text too?)
@neil @girlonthenet I'm actually mistaken. The articles are accessible, the audio isn't. I think I had it in my head the articles were self blocked as well. I'll read some when I can~ and if I like any, i'll share em~
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I suspect that it comes down to a mix of:
* stigma about sex as pleasure / being embarrassed about what others here might think
* concerns relating to professional expectations and obligations
* sex as being in the sphere of one's private life
I can understand each of these, and why they might lead to a "like" rather than a "boost".
None of them inhibit paying or tipping someone, as a thank you for their work though, which is another way of being supportive.
@neil
There is possibly another reason that you haven't considered that I am definitely guilty of.
I get fed up of boosts from people boosting stuff from people that I already follow cluttering up my timeline and I generally tend to assume that because I follow all the cool people that everyone I follow also follows them, so I don't boost that much.
I should perhaps re-evaluate my approach because I have discovered many cool people and things from people boosting people I don't already follow. -
@neil
There is possibly another reason that you haven't considered that I am definitely guilty of.
I get fed up of boosts from people boosting stuff from people that I already follow cluttering up my timeline and I generally tend to assume that because I follow all the cool people that everyone I follow also follows them, so I don't boost that much.
I should perhaps re-evaluate my approach because I have discovered many cool people and things from people boosting people I don't already follow.@jamesb Ooh, interesting. Yes, you are right, I had not considered that.
And this may be where different people have different experiences - I find loads of interesting people tooting loads of interesting things, based on what other people have boosted.
I do appreciate the ability to turn off boots for a given person, though.
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@jamesb Ooh, interesting. Yes, you are right, I had not considered that.
And this may be where different people have different experiences - I find loads of interesting people tooting loads of interesting things, based on what other people have boosted.
I do appreciate the ability to turn off boots for a given person, though.
@neil
What would be useful in a Fedi client would be the ability to hide the boosts of accounts you already follow. That would certainly solve that problem, but then it would also hide people boosting their own old stuff which can occasionally be interesting. -
@neil
There is possibly another reason that you haven't considered that I am definitely guilty of.
I get fed up of boosts from people boosting stuff from people that I already follow cluttering up my timeline and I generally tend to assume that because I follow all the cool people that everyone I follow also follows them, so I don't boost that much.
I should perhaps re-evaluate my approach because I have discovered many cool people and things from people boosting people I don't already follow.@jamesb yes I am chuckling at having the gall to boost this toot. *snigger*
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@jamesb yes I am chuckling at having the gall to boost this toot. *snigger*
@dan
But nobody follows me because I'm not one of the Fediverse cool kids so that doesn't quite work. -
@neil
What would be useful in a Fedi client would be the ability to hide the boosts of accounts you already follow. That would certainly solve that problem, but then it would also hide people boosting their own old stuff which can occasionally be interesting.
