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CIRCLE WITH A DOT

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  3. I woke up still pondering @girlonthenet's lamentation (I think; https://mastodon.social/@girlonthenet/116353766078817354), that while lots of people enjoy her sex blog, few people boost her toots about it.

I woke up still pondering @girlonthenet's lamentation (I think; https://mastodon.social/@girlonthenet/116353766078817354), that while lots of people enjoy her sex blog, few people boost her toots about it.

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  • ? Guest

    @neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.uk @girlonthenet@mastodon.social in my case, the reason is a little different - I enjoy the life-posting, commentary, and other sex-positivity content, but I don't care for audio porn so I just ignore all those posts.

    neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN This user is from outside of this forum
    neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN This user is from outside of this forum
    neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.uk
    wrote last edited by
    #62

    @hazelnoot @girlonthenet Fair enough 🙂

    1 Reply Last reply
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    • afewbugs@social.coopA afewbugs@social.coop

      @neil speaking as a woman who used to be on Twitter, I learned pretty early on not to mention anything that could be even remotely construed as sexual on the internet because it immediately attracted a lot of the kind of attention I didn't want. Mastodon seems a lot better but I don't know if that genuinely is a platform thing or just that I'm in my forties now so have aged out of the bracket creeps like to hit on. It's shit, women are full human beings too who like sex as much as anyone else and in an ideal world we'd talk about it as much as we talk about our jobs or hobbies or pets, but my early experiences on the internet taught me that if you express any interest in anything remotely sexual a dozen sleazy men will suddenly assume you want to be sexual with them.

      theowrites@ack.nerdfight.onlineT This user is from outside of this forum
      theowrites@ack.nerdfight.onlineT This user is from outside of this forum
      theowrites@ack.nerdfight.online
      wrote last edited by
      #63
      @afewbugs @neil Big yep!

      Twitter, was pre transition time (young woman in looks)/under 40 time for me, plus I had a public facing job in cis male dominated spaces (though that's changed some due to the work I did). Plus, I was known for being a killjoy feminist (see the work). I've always been sex positive and openly bisexual, but toned it way down and would never boost something clearly NSFW then.

      Slowly undoing that because that's never been who I am.
      1 Reply Last reply
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      • neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.uk

        I woke up still pondering @girlonthenet's lamentation (I think; https://mastodon.social/@girlonthenet/116353766078817354), that while lots of people enjoy her sex blog, few people boost her toots about it.

        I follow and chat with quite a lot of sex positive / sex-related people here, and many have expressed similar sentiments. It must be demoralising.

        I don't have good ideas here, but it would be such a shame to lose this wonderful diverse friendly bunch of creative people.

        oliviavespera@spacey.spaceO This user is from outside of this forum
        oliviavespera@spacey.spaceO This user is from outside of this forum
        oliviavespera@spacey.space
        wrote last edited by
        #64

        @neil @girlonthenet I don't boost it because I can't read it. The OSA region blocking does quite a number if I can't read the articles at the moment.

        neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN 1 Reply Last reply
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        • oliviavespera@spacey.spaceO oliviavespera@spacey.space

          @neil @girlonthenet I don't boost it because I can't read it. The OSA region blocking does quite a number if I can't read the articles at the moment.

          neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN This user is from outside of this forum
          neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN This user is from outside of this forum
          neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.uk
          wrote last edited by
          #65

          @OliviaVespera @girlonthenet

          Oh, that absolutely leads to fragmentation!

          (I know that a fair few people block images and audio; perhaps some block the text too?)

          oliviavespera@spacey.spaceO 1 Reply Last reply
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          • neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.uk

            @OliviaVespera @girlonthenet

            Oh, that absolutely leads to fragmentation!

            (I know that a fair few people block images and audio; perhaps some block the text too?)

            oliviavespera@spacey.spaceO This user is from outside of this forum
            oliviavespera@spacey.spaceO This user is from outside of this forum
            oliviavespera@spacey.space
            wrote last edited by
            #66

            @neil @girlonthenet I'm actually mistaken. The articles are accessible, the audio isn't. I think I had it in my head the articles were self blocked as well. I'll read some when I can~ and if I like any, i'll share em~

            girlonthenet@mastodon.socialG 1 Reply Last reply
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            • neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.uk

              I suspect that it comes down to a mix of:

              * stigma about sex as pleasure / being embarrassed about what others here might think

              * concerns relating to professional expectations and obligations

              * sex as being in the sphere of one's private life

              I can understand each of these, and why they might lead to a "like" rather than a "boost".

              None of them inhibit paying or tipping someone, as a thank you for their work though, which is another way of being supportive.

              jamesb@fedi.duckduckpigeon.co.ukJ This user is from outside of this forum
              jamesb@fedi.duckduckpigeon.co.ukJ This user is from outside of this forum
              jamesb@fedi.duckduckpigeon.co.uk
              wrote last edited by
              #67

              @neil
              There is possibly another reason that you haven't considered that I am definitely guilty of.

              I get fed up of boosts from people boosting stuff from people that I already follow cluttering up my timeline and I generally tend to assume that because I follow all the cool people that everyone I follow also follows them, so I don't boost that much.

              I should perhaps re-evaluate my approach because I have discovered many cool people and things from people boosting people I don't already follow.

              neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN dan@mastodon.durrans.comD 2 Replies Last reply
              0
              • jamesb@fedi.duckduckpigeon.co.ukJ jamesb@fedi.duckduckpigeon.co.uk

                @neil
                There is possibly another reason that you haven't considered that I am definitely guilty of.

                I get fed up of boosts from people boosting stuff from people that I already follow cluttering up my timeline and I generally tend to assume that because I follow all the cool people that everyone I follow also follows them, so I don't boost that much.

                I should perhaps re-evaluate my approach because I have discovered many cool people and things from people boosting people I don't already follow.

                neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN This user is from outside of this forum
                neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN This user is from outside of this forum
                neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.uk
                wrote last edited by
                #68

                @jamesb Ooh, interesting. Yes, you are right, I had not considered that.

                And this may be where different people have different experiences - I find loads of interesting people tooting loads of interesting things, based on what other people have boosted.

                I do appreciate the ability to turn off boots for a given person, though.

                jamesb@fedi.duckduckpigeon.co.ukJ 1 Reply Last reply
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                • neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.uk

                  @jamesb Ooh, interesting. Yes, you are right, I had not considered that.

                  And this may be where different people have different experiences - I find loads of interesting people tooting loads of interesting things, based on what other people have boosted.

                  I do appreciate the ability to turn off boots for a given person, though.

                  jamesb@fedi.duckduckpigeon.co.ukJ This user is from outside of this forum
                  jamesb@fedi.duckduckpigeon.co.ukJ This user is from outside of this forum
                  jamesb@fedi.duckduckpigeon.co.uk
                  wrote last edited by
                  #69

                  @neil
                  What would be useful in a Fedi client would be the ability to hide the boosts of accounts you already follow. That would certainly solve that problem, but then it would also hide people boosting their own old stuff which can occasionally be interesting.

                  dan@mastodon.durrans.comD 1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • jamesb@fedi.duckduckpigeon.co.ukJ jamesb@fedi.duckduckpigeon.co.uk

                    @neil
                    There is possibly another reason that you haven't considered that I am definitely guilty of.

                    I get fed up of boosts from people boosting stuff from people that I already follow cluttering up my timeline and I generally tend to assume that because I follow all the cool people that everyone I follow also follows them, so I don't boost that much.

                    I should perhaps re-evaluate my approach because I have discovered many cool people and things from people boosting people I don't already follow.

                    dan@mastodon.durrans.comD This user is from outside of this forum
                    dan@mastodon.durrans.comD This user is from outside of this forum
                    dan@mastodon.durrans.com
                    wrote last edited by
                    #70

                    @jamesb yes I am chuckling at having the gall to boost this toot. *snigger*

                    jamesb@fedi.duckduckpigeon.co.ukJ 1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • dan@mastodon.durrans.comD dan@mastodon.durrans.com

                      @jamesb yes I am chuckling at having the gall to boost this toot. *snigger*

                      jamesb@fedi.duckduckpigeon.co.ukJ This user is from outside of this forum
                      jamesb@fedi.duckduckpigeon.co.ukJ This user is from outside of this forum
                      jamesb@fedi.duckduckpigeon.co.uk
                      wrote last edited by
                      #71

                      @dan
                      But nobody follows me because I'm not one of the Fediverse cool kids so that doesn't quite work.

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • jamesb@fedi.duckduckpigeon.co.ukJ jamesb@fedi.duckduckpigeon.co.uk

                        @neil
                        What would be useful in a Fedi client would be the ability to hide the boosts of accounts you already follow. That would certainly solve that problem, but then it would also hide people boosting their own old stuff which can occasionally be interesting.

                        dan@mastodon.durrans.comD This user is from outside of this forum
                        dan@mastodon.durrans.comD This user is from outside of this forum
                        dan@mastodon.durrans.com
                        wrote last edited by
                        #72

                        @jamesb @neil @ivory has a Hide Duplicate Boosts feature I think…

                        Link Preview Image
                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • joykill@mastodon.socialJ joykill@mastodon.social

                          @alexisbushnell
                          Hosting social media while British, a prosecutable offense...

                          That's truly sad and I can see why someone who hosts a server would think about those considerations, but as a user I don't think posting adult content is prosecutable in the UK yet, is it? Provided the adult content is consensual, not stolen, etc.

                          Maybe having an alt account in a non-British server for the adult stuff could be an option, while keeping the local community posts in the British servers?

                          @neil

                          alexisbushnell@toot.walesA This user is from outside of this forum
                          alexisbushnell@toot.walesA This user is from outside of this forum
                          alexisbushnell@toot.wales
                          wrote last edited by
                          #73

                          @joykill @neil as with most things, it's complicated, but the Online Safety Act created a lot of fear and uncertainty among a lot of people because it's, afaik, quite vague and confusing.

                          Also most kink is illegal in the UK so hosting that actually is illegal, even if consensual and done safely.

                          neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN 1 Reply Last reply
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                          • alexisbushnell@toot.walesA alexisbushnell@toot.wales

                            @joykill @neil as with most things, it's complicated, but the Online Safety Act created a lot of fear and uncertainty among a lot of people because it's, afaik, quite vague and confusing.

                            Also most kink is illegal in the UK so hosting that actually is illegal, even if consensual and done safely.

                            neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN This user is from outside of this forum
                            neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN This user is from outside of this forum
                            neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.uk
                            wrote last edited by
                            #74

                            @alexisbushnell @joykill

                            > most kink is illegal in the UK

                            I am rather sceptical of this!

                            Some, for sure, but I'd be surprised by "most"!

                            joykill@mastodon.socialJ jamesb@fedi.duckduckpigeon.co.ukJ philpem@digipres.clubP 3 Replies Last reply
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                            • neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.uk

                              @alexisbushnell @joykill

                              > most kink is illegal in the UK

                              I am rather sceptical of this!

                              Some, for sure, but I'd be surprised by "most"!

                              joykill@mastodon.socialJ This user is from outside of this forum
                              joykill@mastodon.socialJ This user is from outside of this forum
                              joykill@mastodon.social
                              wrote last edited by
                              #75

                              @neil @alexisbushnell

                              Given the very vibrant kink scene in London, I also am rather skeptical of this, but I would be interested to hear your experiences if you have any first or second-hand knowledge of people in the UK getting in trouble with the law for sharing or hosting consensual kink content online.

                              alexisbushnell@toot.walesA neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN 2 Replies Last reply
                              0
                              • neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.uk

                                I woke up still pondering @girlonthenet's lamentation (I think; https://mastodon.social/@girlonthenet/116353766078817354), that while lots of people enjoy her sex blog, few people boost her toots about it.

                                I follow and chat with quite a lot of sex positive / sex-related people here, and many have expressed similar sentiments. It must be demoralising.

                                I don't have good ideas here, but it would be such a shame to lose this wonderful diverse friendly bunch of creative people.

                                mnd999@mastodon.socialM This user is from outside of this forum
                                mnd999@mastodon.socialM This user is from outside of this forum
                                mnd999@mastodon.social
                                wrote last edited by
                                #76

                                @neil @girlonthenet as there’s no algorithm, there doesn’t seem much point boosting things unless you have followers.

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • joykill@mastodon.socialJ joykill@mastodon.social

                                  @neil @alexisbushnell

                                  Given the very vibrant kink scene in London, I also am rather skeptical of this, but I would be interested to hear your experiences if you have any first or second-hand knowledge of people in the UK getting in trouble with the law for sharing or hosting consensual kink content online.

                                  alexisbushnell@toot.walesA This user is from outside of this forum
                                  alexisbushnell@toot.walesA This user is from outside of this forum
                                  alexisbushnell@toot.wales
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #77

                                  @joykill @neil
                                  Apologies if this is way more than you were anticipating/wanted but...

                                  sources: I am a UK based kinkster in the scene for 20 years who also runs community events & is actively involved in community safety.

                                  Also a UK based lawyer who is also a kinkster and has writings on Fetlife about this along with the legal realities of being actively engaged in kink in the UK.
                                  Sources from his writing:

                                  1/

                                  alexisbushnell@toot.walesA 1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • alexisbushnell@toot.walesA alexisbushnell@toot.wales

                                    @joykill @neil
                                    Apologies if this is way more than you were anticipating/wanted but...

                                    sources: I am a UK based kinkster in the scene for 20 years who also runs community events & is actively involved in community safety.

                                    Also a UK based lawyer who is also a kinkster and has writings on Fetlife about this along with the legal realities of being actively engaged in kink in the UK.
                                    Sources from his writing:

                                    1/

                                    alexisbushnell@toot.walesA This user is from outside of this forum
                                    alexisbushnell@toot.walesA This user is from outside of this forum
                                    alexisbushnell@toot.wales
                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #78

                                    @joykill @neil The Spanner Case & House of Lords judgement (yes 1987 & influenced by them being gay but it is precedent & now binding): https://www.bailii.org/uk/cases/UKHL/1993/19.html
                                    R. v. Wilson 1996: https://www.lawteacher.net/cases/consent-wilson.php
                                    R. v. Emmett 1999: https://www.bailii.org/ew/cases/EWCA/Crim/1999/1710.html

                                    2/

                                    alexisbushnell@toot.walesA 1 Reply Last reply
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                                    • alexisbushnell@toot.walesA alexisbushnell@toot.wales

                                      @joykill @neil The Spanner Case & House of Lords judgement (yes 1987 & influenced by them being gay but it is precedent & now binding): https://www.bailii.org/uk/cases/UKHL/1993/19.html
                                      R. v. Wilson 1996: https://www.lawteacher.net/cases/consent-wilson.php
                                      R. v. Emmett 1999: https://www.bailii.org/ew/cases/EWCA/Crim/1999/1710.html

                                      2/

                                      alexisbushnell@toot.walesA This user is from outside of this forum
                                      alexisbushnell@toot.walesA This user is from outside of this forum
                                      alexisbushnell@toot.wales
                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #79

                                      @joykill @neil The Domestic Abuse Act 2021 "If you cause someone else serious harm, then it is not a defence that the person consented to it. Serious harm has the same meaning as for s.75A of the SCA (anything from actual bodily harm upwards, so bruises are in scope)."
                                      https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2021/17/contents

                                      Also many kink focused sex worker friends who have had to change what content they create to avoid

                                      Also the government: https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/domestic-abuse-bill-2020-factsheets/consent-to-serious-harm-for-sexual-gratification-not-a-defence .

                                      3/3

                                      1 Reply Last reply
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                                      • joykill@mastodon.socialJ joykill@mastodon.social

                                        @neil @alexisbushnell

                                        Given the very vibrant kink scene in London, I also am rather skeptical of this, but I would be interested to hear your experiences if you have any first or second-hand knowledge of people in the UK getting in trouble with the law for sharing or hosting consensual kink content online.

                                        neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN This user is from outside of this forum
                                        neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN This user is from outside of this forum
                                        neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.uk
                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #80

                                        @joykill @alexisbushnell

                                        > first or second-hand knowledge of people in the UK getting in trouble with the law for sharing or hosting consensual kink content online

                                        Specifically online, I can think of case law around obscenity, and around images depicting illegal acts (in the sense of extreme pornography), but not about, say, a foot fetish.

                                        neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN 1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.uk

                                          @joykill @alexisbushnell

                                          > first or second-hand knowledge of people in the UK getting in trouble with the law for sharing or hosting consensual kink content online

                                          Specifically online, I can think of case law around obscenity, and around images depicting illegal acts (in the sense of extreme pornography), but not about, say, a foot fetish.

                                          neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN This user is from outside of this forum
                                          neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN This user is from outside of this forum
                                          neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.uk
                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #81

                                          @joykill @alexisbushnell

                                          It really does depend though, and there are things which consenting parties may undertake which, if they were distribute in photographic form, would amount to an offence.

                                          But there are also many things which would fall under the umbrella of "kink" which are not prohibit (in terms of the action, or photography etc. depicting it). To the extent that constitutes pornography though - the definition of which in the OSA is opaque - there are additional obligations relating to hosting it.

                                          neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN 1 Reply Last reply
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