You can't prove she isn't the squirrel queen.

[maryaustinbooks@mstdn.social]

@chessert @selzero
It's from the Dude Humor Report, a satirical outlet. They're doing their level best to beat reality, but they're trying to do the impossible in Florida. Their Florida Man/Woman stories keep getting mistaken for news because no one can tell the difference.

[benjamincox@writing.exchange]

@selzero I’ll have a pint of what her majesty’s just consumed, please. 🤨

[snork303@toot.community]

@selzero
I have been searching and have found no evidence that this actually happened.

[andymoose@fedi.aiga.rocks]

@selzero @TheBreadmonkey She clearly saw the Simpsons episode where Lisa gets high and says she’s the lizard queen.

[ada@blahaj.zone]

@yetzt@social.yetzt.me @selzero@syzito.xyz Honestly, it depends on the branch of the government

[mirahimage@toot.cat]

@ada @selzero @yetzt if you don't leave this idea alone, it might start to take root

[erinaceus@chaos.social]

@selzero Wait: Is the Squirrel Queen the secret identity of Florida Woman or is Florida Woman the secret identity of the Squirrel Queen?

[noortjevee@mstdn.social]

@selzero i have...i seen her and Doreen in the same room

[enobacon@urbanists.social]

@selzero Before the police "found" her "throwing acorns at police", what was she doing that's illegal? [Note I am not arguing here that squirrels are not legally allowed to throw acorns at police.]

[kiyomi@rubber.social]

@selzero
Acorn crown and eyes so keen,
All bow down to Squirrel Queen!

[msdropbear42@infosec.space]

@yetzt i've been up & fediversing for a coupla hours now this morn. this exquisite post absolutely wins this morning's Sheep Bladders and Earthquakes Commemorative Medal ️
@selzero

[colesstreetpothole@weatherishappening.network]

@selzero @MAJ1 Friend of yours?

[thejacenallen@mastodon.social]

@selzero for those that dont know these kind of posts are just copaganda.

[gareth@tenforward.social]

@5ciFiGirl @StarkRG @selzero
Seen this one?

[atraidez@infosec.exchange]

@selzero Even the squirrel society knows acab.

[bit101@mstdn.social]

@selzero The fact that they got the orange jumpsuit on her without removing the sticks from her hair is very suspicious.

ah. I read the rest of the thread.

[retech@defcon.social]

@MaryAustinBooks @chessert @selzero Not a lot of heavy lifting to say anything remotely surreal about FL. My relatives cannot understand how, for 20+ years, I'm too busy to make it to their parties.

[imgoneinpeace@mastodon.social]

@selzero I want to eat brunch with her for some reason.

[peachfront@toot.community]

@selzero

there's... a law against that?

[netraven@hear-me.social]

@yetzt @selzero FINALLY... Someone says it.