When you block or mute someone, should you tell them?
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@evan@cosocial.ca girl I block about fifteen people a day, I'm not writing each one an apology first
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No, but sometimes I really, really want to do it anyway.
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@evan@cosocial.ca girl I block about fifteen people a day, I'm not writing each one an apology first
@evan@cosocial.ca my previous answer was flippant...
The question seems to ask whether we have some moral obligation to inform people, to which I think the answer is obviously not. If somebody I'm not expecting knocks on my door, I have no obligation to open it or even to be at home. The knocking can just be un-acked.
But... I still voted "no, but". I definitely think you can tell them, and it might even be a kind thing to do, depending on the previous relationship you've had. I would feel pretty bad if I was close with somebody, or they depended on me, and then I locked them out of my life without a word.
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@evan Block and Mute are like Bubble Tape
bubble gum: For you. Not them. -
@evan I'd say no. I don't want to know if I've been blocked. I'm not for everyone and i know that, but if I'm not for you, I don't need to know about it. Just block and move on. It's not like the other person can stop you from blocking them anyway, so just do it and don't be passive aggressive. I might tell someone else "Oh I have that person blocked," but never directly saying to that person "I am blocking you."
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@evan@cosocial.ca my previous answer was flippant...
The question seems to ask whether we have some moral obligation to inform people, to which I think the answer is obviously not. If somebody I'm not expecting knocks on my door, I have no obligation to open it or even to be at home. The knocking can just be un-acked.
But... I still voted "no, but". I definitely think you can tell them, and it might even be a kind thing to do, depending on the previous relationship you've had. I would feel pretty bad if I was close with somebody, or they depended on me, and then I locked them out of my life without a word.
@danso I think of this as more a question of etiquette of morality; what's the proper thing to do.
You don't really block 15 people a day, do you?
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@evan@cosocial.ca my previous answer was flippant...
The question seems to ask whether we have some moral obligation to inform people, to which I think the answer is obviously not. If somebody I'm not expecting knocks on my door, I have no obligation to open it or even to be at home. The knocking can just be un-acked.
But... I still voted "no, but". I definitely think you can tell them, and it might even be a kind thing to do, depending on the previous relationship you've had. I would feel pretty bad if I was close with somebody, or they depended on me, and then I locked them out of my life without a word.
@danso that's really interesting. Thanks for the thoughts.
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@evan i block/mute a lot of people for being russian or sometimes pro-trump/trump-like entities in other countries, and in that case i usually leave a snarky remark after blocking as a public post
but mostly not
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@mpjgregoire@cosocial.ca @evan@cosocial.ca the actual number varies, but I block every commenter that's hostile or bad-faith if it comes from somebody I don't know, even when their comment is not directed at me.
A few days ago there was a post on fecesbook about the ALF in France burning 15 refrigerated trucks that got a lot of attention. I probably blocked > 100 people that day.
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@evan "no, but" sometimes I can't help myself 🤭
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@evan
Yes, generally because it's a learning opportunity. If not for them, then for others.
But... if muting a person who isn't a troll, but just too much, then quietly muting is kinder -
@evan feels passive aggressive to me to do so, like an attempt to get the last lick in before going la la la cant hear you
@kim Calling that kind of behaviour _passive_ aggressive seems generous.
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@mpjgregoire@cosocial.ca @evan@cosocial.ca the actual number varies, but I block every commenter that's hostile or bad-faith if it comes from somebody I don't know, even when their comment is not directed at me.
A few days ago there was a post on fecesbook about the ALF in France burning 15 refrigerated trucks that got a lot of attention. I probably blocked > 100 people that day.
@danso
Why? I mean, maybe they deserve to be blocked, but maybe even without a block you'll never cross paths with them again... -
@danso
Why? I mean, maybe they deserve to be blocked, but maybe even without a block you'll never cross paths with them again...@mpjgregoire@cosocial.ca when I learned that nearly all the hateful posts online are made by < 1% of its users, it got me thinking maybe I could create a curated internet by just blocking them all.
I still see hateful posts sometimes, so it hasn't totally worked (yet).
But I just think, if this person is hateful, why give them a chance to direct their hate at me? Why wait? If blocking hundreds of people means I don't get a hateful message later, it'll be worth it.
So far I've never regretted a block. It hasn't happened that I've met somebody in person and had an awkward moment of "oh, I've got your account blocked on [whatever]". On the other hand, when controversial posts get hundreds of comments, it's normal that I'm only shown 80-90% of them (when logged in).
Things escalated during the municipal elections, when I ran as candidate for city council. Since I'm openly genderqueer and vegan -- two of the most hated demographics -- I got... a few hateful private messages. And since then I've wondered how many I didn't get because I had such a long block-list already.
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@evan If you block them, they don't see your message do they?
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@evan Why start drama neither of you need by announcing it?
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@evan I think it's polite to either tell a mutual they are being muted (if you are muting their @ responses too), or just soft block them (force them to unfollow you)
Either of those at least give them a hint something is up.
I don't think it's as big a deal for non mutuals
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@evan No, unless you want to.
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