When you block or mute someone, should you tell them?
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@evan@cosocial.ca my previous answer was flippant...
The question seems to ask whether we have some moral obligation to inform people, to which I think the answer is obviously not. If somebody I'm not expecting knocks on my door, I have no obligation to open it or even to be at home. The knocking can just be un-acked.
But... I still voted "no, but". I definitely think you can tell them, and it might even be a kind thing to do, depending on the previous relationship you've had. I would feel pretty bad if I was close with somebody, or they depended on me, and then I locked them out of my life without a word.
@danso that's really interesting. Thanks for the thoughts.
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@evan i block/mute a lot of people for being russian or sometimes pro-trump/trump-like entities in other countries, and in that case i usually leave a snarky remark after blocking as a public post
but mostly not
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@mpjgregoire@cosocial.ca @evan@cosocial.ca the actual number varies, but I block every commenter that's hostile or bad-faith if it comes from somebody I don't know, even when their comment is not directed at me.
A few days ago there was a post on fecesbook about the ALF in France burning 15 refrigerated trucks that got a lot of attention. I probably blocked > 100 people that day.
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@evan "no, but" sometimes I can't help myself 🤭
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@evan
Yes, generally because it's a learning opportunity. If not for them, then for others.
But... if muting a person who isn't a troll, but just too much, then quietly muting is kinder -
@evan feels passive aggressive to me to do so, like an attempt to get the last lick in before going la la la cant hear you
@kim Calling that kind of behaviour _passive_ aggressive seems generous.
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@mpjgregoire@cosocial.ca @evan@cosocial.ca the actual number varies, but I block every commenter that's hostile or bad-faith if it comes from somebody I don't know, even when their comment is not directed at me.
A few days ago there was a post on fecesbook about the ALF in France burning 15 refrigerated trucks that got a lot of attention. I probably blocked > 100 people that day.
@danso
Why? I mean, maybe they deserve to be blocked, but maybe even without a block you'll never cross paths with them again... -
@danso
Why? I mean, maybe they deserve to be blocked, but maybe even without a block you'll never cross paths with them again...@mpjgregoire@cosocial.ca when I learned that nearly all the hateful posts online are made by < 1% of its users, it got me thinking maybe I could create a curated internet by just blocking them all.
I still see hateful posts sometimes, so it hasn't totally worked (yet).
But I just think, if this person is hateful, why give them a chance to direct their hate at me? Why wait? If blocking hundreds of people means I don't get a hateful message later, it'll be worth it.
So far I've never regretted a block. It hasn't happened that I've met somebody in person and had an awkward moment of "oh, I've got your account blocked on [whatever]". On the other hand, when controversial posts get hundreds of comments, it's normal that I'm only shown 80-90% of them (when logged in).
Things escalated during the municipal elections, when I ran as candidate for city council. Since I'm openly genderqueer and vegan -- two of the most hated demographics -- I got... a few hateful private messages. And since then I've wondered how many I didn't get because I had such a long block-list already.
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@evan If you block them, they don't see your message do they?
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@evan Why start drama neither of you need by announcing it?
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@evan I think it's polite to either tell a mutual they are being muted (if you are muting their @ responses too), or just soft block them (force them to unfollow you)
Either of those at least give them a hint something is up.
I don't think it's as big a deal for non mutuals
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@evan No, unless you want to.
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