CIRCLE WITH A DOT

I keep feeling all the surgery pain in my stomach and realizing that theres only my intestines and bladder in there and I'm so at peace. Like I'm not going to be taken down by something I never wanted or completely owned anyway. It feels like I finally got rid of a tumor that was ruining my health.

Honestly? Only 18 years of the uterine based dysphoria doesnt seem that bad. I still have a lot of life left yknow

I can't believe I never have to dissociate my way through a PAP again. I never have to worry about cervical or uterine cancer. I never have to worry about a pain in my abdomen being my uterus or a fibroid ever again. The boundary will never be a coerceable "I don't want to carry children" but rather "I can't carry children."
Crazy.
Amazing.
Finally. 🥹

I think humanity began it's descent when we normalized using something as beautifying and unusable as liquid eyeliner.

This is real and it's happening and it's real and it's happening to me

2 more days until surgery 🥹

I have to say, as someone with chronic pain, it is a travesty that they won't let you take advil a week before surgery.

@captainvellalives jeeezus. Im glad they at least found your granddad. I hope youre also taking care of yourself as much as you can 🫂

I think I'll have I Would Hate Me Too by TX2 play in the background of the opening montage in the movie about my life. Maybe I can even convince Evan Thomas to play me, that would be perfect.

Finally got the results of a somewhat recent bloodtest. As it turns out, everyone was right. My T levels are indeed normal but my E is too high. As much as I don't want to have them, I do have to admire my ovaries' tenacity.
This makes a lot of sense because it seems whenever my E levels are too high I get very obsessive and paranoid about my health. I don't know why. It immediately goes away once my E levels are lowered again. It also makes my ADHD worse, contrary to the common phenomena of testosterone making people's ADHD worse.
I am even more worried about my hysto now. Two different doctors gave me completely conflicting advice on whether it was safe to remove both my ovaries if I'm going to take T forever. Funnily enough, they work in the same office. I decided to keep one. I have since learned that it's safe to remove both, and it now seems that I actually need to. How would I change my surgery plan 4 days before the surgery? Seems unreasonable. Anyway, I'm annoyed that no one is informed and that I only got my E levels tested after 6 months of asking.

This is the second best city in Canada for trans healthcare, by the way.

@Nia0 its honestly its so good, I feel like the next 3d platformer is going to be a disappointment because how do you follow Odyssey? Idk.
Anyway, youre welcome I hope you had fuun ️

Fuck my life that means I have to go back to Metro Kingdom

EVERYONE CLAP I JUST GOT 2 OF THE 5 MOONS THAT MADE ME RAGE QUIT MARIO ODYSSEY, THIS HAS BEEN 8 MONTHS IN THE MAKING.

@mayintoronto is it someone putting their picket sign in the appropriate garbage receptacle after a protest?

This is your daily reminder that a number on a scale is meaningless because how am I the heaviest I've ever been but also fitting into my smallest pair of pants even better than when I bought them?

@captainvellalives lol oh honey no, I'm throwing shade at my roommates I quit smoking fair and square, thank you

@emily_rugburn right? Please. It's so warm out 🥲

Protip: if you don't want your housemates to find out you're smoking cigarettes inside again, lighting incense won't cover it, it'll just make the house smokier

I had been on the fence about telling my family because theyre very...ex-catholic white centrist capitalist, to put it nicely. I decided I'd give them a chance and told my mother today:

Me: oh yeah, I actually can't go back to work yet because I have surgery next week.
Mom: surgery!?
Me: yes, I'm getting a hysterectomy
Mom: /ew, why?/
Me: because I--
Mom: a hysterectomy?!
Me: yes, because-
Mom: /that's gross, ew why. Hehe, no I'm kidding *hard subject change, never brought up again*/

And I have to say, the response I've been getting from cis women is interesting. They almost always know I'm a trans man, and it seems in the moment that I tell them, they completely forget that, shocked at my betrayal of (white) womanhood. (As if I didnt already do that by injecting T every 5 days for a year, but I digress)
I honestly expected more solidarity from cis women, and more awkwardness from cis men. Admittedly, cis men are always awkward because I exist, but that's a whole other thing. Idk its just interesting. Everyone's pro reproductive rights until you make a permanent decision I guess.
It's very telling.
The one good thing about the social stresses of being trans is that you find out who actually supports you.

"Please be available for a call from your surgeon from 7AM-12PM so she can tell you the time of your surgery."

Can't we just send it in an email 🥲