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  3. I'm watching a video on "The 5 Love Languages" book, and I was curious what Fedi thinks of the model.

I'm watching a video on "The 5 Love Languages" book, and I was curious what Fedi thinks of the model.

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pollloverelationshipsvalentinesday
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  • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

    I'm watching a video on "The 5 Love Languages" book, and I was curious what Fedi thinks of the model.

    Please pick 1-5 of the "love languages" that you feel mean the most to you (or "I don't know / not listed"), *and* either A, B, or C to indicate if you think the 5 love languages is reasonably science-based.

    *I'll answer in the replies later, after the poll has run a bit.

    #Poll #Love #Relationships #ValentinesDay

    hal_pomeranz@infosec.exchangeH This user is from outside of this forum
    hal_pomeranz@infosec.exchangeH This user is from outside of this forum
    hal_pomeranz@infosec.exchange
    wrote last edited by
    #4

    @alice Understanding how you need to receive love is important for your own happiness. Understanding how your partners need to receive love is a key for long-term, happy relationships.

    1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

      I'm watching a video on "The 5 Love Languages" book, and I was curious what Fedi thinks of the model.

      Please pick 1-5 of the "love languages" that you feel mean the most to you (or "I don't know / not listed"), *and* either A, B, or C to indicate if you think the 5 love languages is reasonably science-based.

      *I'll answer in the replies later, after the poll has run a bit.

      #Poll #Love #Relationships #ValentinesDay

      scmbradley@mathstodon.xyzS This user is from outside of this forum
      scmbradley@mathstodon.xyzS This user is from outside of this forum
      scmbradley@mathstodon.xyz
      wrote last edited by
      #5

      @alice https://www.buzzsprout.com/2040953/episodes/12684857-the-5-love-languages

      larymir@chaos.socialL 1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

        I'm watching a video on "The 5 Love Languages" book, and I was curious what Fedi thinks of the model.

        Please pick 1-5 of the "love languages" that you feel mean the most to you (or "I don't know / not listed"), *and* either A, B, or C to indicate if you think the 5 love languages is reasonably science-based.

        *I'll answer in the replies later, after the poll has run a bit.

        #Poll #Love #Relationships #ValentinesDay

        outputdoubtr@mastodon.seattlematrix.orgO This user is from outside of this forum
        outputdoubtr@mastodon.seattlematrix.orgO This user is from outside of this forum
        outputdoubtr@mastodon.seattlematrix.org
        wrote last edited by
        #6

        @alice was looking for "forgiveness / understanding" but maybe thats the wrong kind of thing

        i wouldnt know
        love feels real but i observe that it is not

        except in as much as it can cause me to suffer

        1 Reply Last reply
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        • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

          I'm watching a video on "The 5 Love Languages" book, and I was curious what Fedi thinks of the model.

          Please pick 1-5 of the "love languages" that you feel mean the most to you (or "I don't know / not listed"), *and* either A, B, or C to indicate if you think the 5 love languages is reasonably science-based.

          *I'll answer in the replies later, after the poll has run a bit.

          #Poll #Love #Relationships #ValentinesDay

          larymir@chaos.socialL This user is from outside of this forum
          larymir@chaos.socialL This user is from outside of this forum
          larymir@chaos.social
          wrote last edited by
          #7

          @alice I don't think that the specific approach of "5 love languages" is scientific
          I never read Gary Chapman's (the "inventor" of the concept) book about it, but only third party sources talking about the concept

          But the general idea of "maybe there are ways in which I show affection/love (not only romantic love), that the other person doesn't 'receive' as easily" seems helpful for relationships

          larymir@chaos.socialL 1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

            I'm watching a video on "The 5 Love Languages" book, and I was curious what Fedi thinks of the model.

            Please pick 1-5 of the "love languages" that you feel mean the most to you (or "I don't know / not listed"), *and* either A, B, or C to indicate if you think the 5 love languages is reasonably science-based.

            *I'll answer in the replies later, after the poll has run a bit.

            #Poll #Love #Relationships #ValentinesDay

            mindpersephone@spookygirl.booM This user is from outside of this forum
            mindpersephone@spookygirl.booM This user is from outside of this forum
            mindpersephone@spookygirl.boo
            wrote last edited by
            #8

            @alice

            Voted for b, but I mean "vaguely useful abstraction that sort of works unless you look to closely"

            1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

              I'm watching a video on "The 5 Love Languages" book, and I was curious what Fedi thinks of the model.

              Please pick 1-5 of the "love languages" that you feel mean the most to you (or "I don't know / not listed"), *and* either A, B, or C to indicate if you think the 5 love languages is reasonably science-based.

              *I'll answer in the replies later, after the poll has run a bit.

              #Poll #Love #Relationships #ValentinesDay

              webhat@infosec.exchangeW This user is from outside of this forum
              webhat@infosec.exchangeW This user is from outside of this forum
              webhat@infosec.exchange
              wrote last edited by
              #9

              @alice nice, two polls in one

              1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • larymir@chaos.socialL larymir@chaos.social

                @alice I don't think that the specific approach of "5 love languages" is scientific
                I never read Gary Chapman's (the "inventor" of the concept) book about it, but only third party sources talking about the concept

                But the general idea of "maybe there are ways in which I show affection/love (not only romantic love), that the other person doesn't 'receive' as easily" seems helpful for relationships

                larymir@chaos.socialL This user is from outside of this forum
                larymir@chaos.socialL This user is from outside of this forum
                larymir@chaos.social
                wrote last edited by
                #10

                @alice And those 5 "love languages" Chapman proposes also don't seem like a bad starting point when talking about different ways to show affection/love. Although there are many other ways to do that
                But reducing that to those 5 could increase the likelihood that one isn't able to think of that many others (because you're already primed with those 5)

                1 Reply Last reply
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                • scmbradley@mathstodon.xyzS scmbradley@mathstodon.xyz

                  @alice https://www.buzzsprout.com/2040953/episodes/12684857-the-5-love-languages

                  larymir@chaos.socialL This user is from outside of this forum
                  larymir@chaos.socialL This user is from outside of this forum
                  larymir@chaos.social
                  wrote last edited by
                  #11

                  @Scmbradley @alice thank you for posting that!
                  I thought I remembered that guy being problematic, but Wikipedia only mentioned he is a Baptist pastor and I was wondering if I misremembered or just assumed that he had problematic views because he is a protestant Christian
                  But no, I was not mistaken: he has problematic views
                  https://www.scarymommy.com/creator-5-love-languages-homophobe

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                  • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                    I'm watching a video on "The 5 Love Languages" book, and I was curious what Fedi thinks of the model.

                    Please pick 1-5 of the "love languages" that you feel mean the most to you (or "I don't know / not listed"), *and* either A, B, or C to indicate if you think the 5 love languages is reasonably science-based.

                    *I'll answer in the replies later, after the poll has run a bit.

                    #Poll #Love #Relationships #ValentinesDay

                    jn@boopsnoot.deJ This user is from outside of this forum
                    jn@boopsnoot.deJ This user is from outside of this forum
                    jn@boopsnoot.de
                    wrote last edited by
                    #12

                    @alice some thing i find unclear about this, but haven't seen mentioned: do these points mean that i use these things to express my love, or that i like to have these things done to my to have love shown to me? point 5 is explicitly about receiving, but then 5 could easily be folded into 2 as well...

                    the more i look at this list, the less sense it makes

                    alice@lgbtqia.spaceA 1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                      I'm watching a video on "The 5 Love Languages" book, and I was curious what Fedi thinks of the model.

                      Please pick 1-5 of the "love languages" that you feel mean the most to you (or "I don't know / not listed"), *and* either A, B, or C to indicate if you think the 5 love languages is reasonably science-based.

                      *I'll answer in the replies later, after the poll has run a bit.

                      #Poll #Love #Relationships #ValentinesDay

                      sparklesugarfairy@app.wafrn.netS This user is from outside of this forum
                      sparklesugarfairy@app.wafrn.netS This user is from outside of this forum
                      sparklesugarfairy@app.wafrn.net
                      wrote last edited by
                      #13

                      Arent these just common things people want in relationships? why not just call it that (not an insult but its weird were mystifying basic human desires)

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                        I'm watching a video on "The 5 Love Languages" book, and I was curious what Fedi thinks of the model.

                        Please pick 1-5 of the "love languages" that you feel mean the most to you (or "I don't know / not listed"), *and* either A, B, or C to indicate if you think the 5 love languages is reasonably science-based.

                        *I'll answer in the replies later, after the poll has run a bit.

                        #Poll #Love #Relationships #ValentinesDay

                        raineer@frontrange.coR This user is from outside of this forum
                        raineer@frontrange.coR This user is from outside of this forum
                        raineer@frontrange.co
                        wrote last edited by
                        #14

                        @alice I think itโ€™s definitely fact-based that people have different preferences and that most people could express their love language. Iโ€™m really surprised to see such a high number on psuedo-science.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                          I'm watching a video on "The 5 Love Languages" book, and I was curious what Fedi thinks of the model.

                          Please pick 1-5 of the "love languages" that you feel mean the most to you (or "I don't know / not listed"), *and* either A, B, or C to indicate if you think the 5 love languages is reasonably science-based.

                          *I'll answer in the replies later, after the poll has run a bit.

                          #Poll #Love #Relationships #ValentinesDay

                          takotaco@infosec.exchangeT This user is from outside of this forum
                          takotaco@infosec.exchangeT This user is from outside of this forum
                          takotaco@infosec.exchange
                          wrote last edited by
                          #15

                          @alice the dude that came up with this is a homophobic religious zealot and had literally no scientific backing to his writing. It's just more heteronormative boxes that restrain people from expressing themselves freely.

                          1 Reply Last reply
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                          • R relay@relay.infosec.exchange shared this topic
                          • jn@boopsnoot.deJ jn@boopsnoot.de

                            @alice some thing i find unclear about this, but haven't seen mentioned: do these points mean that i use these things to express my love, or that i like to have these things done to my to have love shown to me? point 5 is explicitly about receiving, but then 5 could easily be folded into 2 as well...

                            the more i look at this list, the less sense it makes

                            alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                            alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                            alice@lgbtqia.space
                            wrote last edited by
                            #16

                            @jn I think the author meant things done to or for you, so getting gifts, being touched, etc.

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                              I'm watching a video on "The 5 Love Languages" book, and I was curious what Fedi thinks of the model.

                              Please pick 1-5 of the "love languages" that you feel mean the most to you (or "I don't know / not listed"), *and* either A, B, or C to indicate if you think the 5 love languages is reasonably science-based.

                              *I'll answer in the replies later, after the poll has run a bit.

                              #Poll #Love #Relationships #ValentinesDay

                              aaron@social.caskey-demaret.seA This user is from outside of this forum
                              aaron@social.caskey-demaret.seA This user is from outside of this forum
                              aaron@social.caskey-demaret.se
                              wrote last edited by
                              #17

                              @alice TIL if you misclick your answers in a poll you cannot edit them, and this is by design and will not be changed. https://github.com/mastodon/mastodon/issues/20611

                              alice@lgbtqia.spaceA 1 Reply Last reply
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                              • aaron@social.caskey-demaret.seA aaron@social.caskey-demaret.se

                                @alice TIL if you misclick your answers in a poll you cannot edit them, and this is by design and will not be changed. https://github.com/mastodon/mastodon/issues/20611

                                alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                                alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                                alice@lgbtqia.space
                                wrote last edited by
                                #18

                                @aaron I don't like that design. *Every* poll I run, at least one person (if not several) say they accidentally clicked the wrong option and want to know if they can edit it.

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                                  I'm watching a video on "The 5 Love Languages" book, and I was curious what Fedi thinks of the model.

                                  Please pick 1-5 of the "love languages" that you feel mean the most to you (or "I don't know / not listed"), *and* either A, B, or C to indicate if you think the 5 love languages is reasonably science-based.

                                  *I'll answer in the replies later, after the poll has run a bit.

                                  #Poll #Love #Relationships #ValentinesDay

                                  joshsusser@autistics.lifeJ This user is from outside of this forum
                                  joshsusser@autistics.lifeJ This user is from outside of this forum
                                  joshsusser@autistics.life
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #19

                                  @alice A perfect example of how some psychology thing might be an interesting idea to investigate, but they immediately drive the idea into a ditch by considering only neurotypical people, like they are the only ones worth mentioning. Almost every pop psychology thing I see is entirely useless because it has no idea neurodiversity is even a thing. I have yet to see a single article on procrastination talk about ADHD in any way, unless it was specifically about ADHD. And everything is like that. We ND folk are just outliers to be discounted, so all their models are wrong.

                                  emily_rugburn@lgbtqia.spaceE 1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • joshsusser@autistics.lifeJ joshsusser@autistics.life

                                    @alice A perfect example of how some psychology thing might be an interesting idea to investigate, but they immediately drive the idea into a ditch by considering only neurotypical people, like they are the only ones worth mentioning. Almost every pop psychology thing I see is entirely useless because it has no idea neurodiversity is even a thing. I have yet to see a single article on procrastination talk about ADHD in any way, unless it was specifically about ADHD. And everything is like that. We ND folk are just outliers to be discounted, so all their models are wrong.

                                    emily_rugburn@lgbtqia.spaceE This user is from outside of this forum
                                    emily_rugburn@lgbtqia.spaceE This user is from outside of this forum
                                    emily_rugburn@lgbtqia.space
                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #20

                                    @joshsusser but but but thats not how statistics work

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