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  3. I'm watching a video on "The 5 Love Languages" book, and I was curious what Fedi thinks of the model.

I'm watching a video on "The 5 Love Languages" book, and I was curious what Fedi thinks of the model.

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pollloverelationshipsvalentinesday
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  • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

    I'm watching a video on "The 5 Love Languages" book, and I was curious what Fedi thinks of the model.

    Please pick 1-5 of the "love languages" that you feel mean the most to you (or "I don't know / not listed"), *and* either A, B, or C to indicate if you think the 5 love languages is reasonably science-based.

    *I'll answer in the replies later, after the poll has run a bit.

    #Poll #Love #Relationships #ValentinesDay

    scmbradley@mathstodon.xyzS This user is from outside of this forum
    scmbradley@mathstodon.xyzS This user is from outside of this forum
    scmbradley@mathstodon.xyz
    wrote last edited by
    #5

    @alice https://www.buzzsprout.com/2040953/episodes/12684857-the-5-love-languages

    larymir@chaos.socialL 1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

      I'm watching a video on "The 5 Love Languages" book, and I was curious what Fedi thinks of the model.

      Please pick 1-5 of the "love languages" that you feel mean the most to you (or "I don't know / not listed"), *and* either A, B, or C to indicate if you think the 5 love languages is reasonably science-based.

      *I'll answer in the replies later, after the poll has run a bit.

      #Poll #Love #Relationships #ValentinesDay

      outputdoubtr@mastodon.seattlematrix.orgO This user is from outside of this forum
      outputdoubtr@mastodon.seattlematrix.orgO This user is from outside of this forum
      outputdoubtr@mastodon.seattlematrix.org
      wrote last edited by
      #6

      @alice was looking for "forgiveness / understanding" but maybe thats the wrong kind of thing

      i wouldnt know
      love feels real but i observe that it is not

      except in as much as it can cause me to suffer

      1 Reply Last reply
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      • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

        I'm watching a video on "The 5 Love Languages" book, and I was curious what Fedi thinks of the model.

        Please pick 1-5 of the "love languages" that you feel mean the most to you (or "I don't know / not listed"), *and* either A, B, or C to indicate if you think the 5 love languages is reasonably science-based.

        *I'll answer in the replies later, after the poll has run a bit.

        #Poll #Love #Relationships #ValentinesDay

        larymir@chaos.socialL This user is from outside of this forum
        larymir@chaos.socialL This user is from outside of this forum
        larymir@chaos.social
        wrote last edited by
        #7

        @alice I don't think that the specific approach of "5 love languages" is scientific
        I never read Gary Chapman's (the "inventor" of the concept) book about it, but only third party sources talking about the concept

        But the general idea of "maybe there are ways in which I show affection/love (not only romantic love), that the other person doesn't 'receive' as easily" seems helpful for relationships

        larymir@chaos.socialL 1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

          I'm watching a video on "The 5 Love Languages" book, and I was curious what Fedi thinks of the model.

          Please pick 1-5 of the "love languages" that you feel mean the most to you (or "I don't know / not listed"), *and* either A, B, or C to indicate if you think the 5 love languages is reasonably science-based.

          *I'll answer in the replies later, after the poll has run a bit.

          #Poll #Love #Relationships #ValentinesDay

          mindpersephone@spookygirl.booM This user is from outside of this forum
          mindpersephone@spookygirl.booM This user is from outside of this forum
          mindpersephone@spookygirl.boo
          wrote last edited by
          #8

          @alice

          Voted for b, but I mean "vaguely useful abstraction that sort of works unless you look to closely"

          1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

            I'm watching a video on "The 5 Love Languages" book, and I was curious what Fedi thinks of the model.

            Please pick 1-5 of the "love languages" that you feel mean the most to you (or "I don't know / not listed"), *and* either A, B, or C to indicate if you think the 5 love languages is reasonably science-based.

            *I'll answer in the replies later, after the poll has run a bit.

            #Poll #Love #Relationships #ValentinesDay

            webhat@infosec.exchangeW This user is from outside of this forum
            webhat@infosec.exchangeW This user is from outside of this forum
            webhat@infosec.exchange
            wrote last edited by
            #9

            @alice nice, two polls in one

            1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • larymir@chaos.socialL larymir@chaos.social

              @alice I don't think that the specific approach of "5 love languages" is scientific
              I never read Gary Chapman's (the "inventor" of the concept) book about it, but only third party sources talking about the concept

              But the general idea of "maybe there are ways in which I show affection/love (not only romantic love), that the other person doesn't 'receive' as easily" seems helpful for relationships

              larymir@chaos.socialL This user is from outside of this forum
              larymir@chaos.socialL This user is from outside of this forum
              larymir@chaos.social
              wrote last edited by
              #10

              @alice And those 5 "love languages" Chapman proposes also don't seem like a bad starting point when talking about different ways to show affection/love. Although there are many other ways to do that
              But reducing that to those 5 could increase the likelihood that one isn't able to think of that many others (because you're already primed with those 5)

              1 Reply Last reply
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              • scmbradley@mathstodon.xyzS scmbradley@mathstodon.xyz

                @alice https://www.buzzsprout.com/2040953/episodes/12684857-the-5-love-languages

                larymir@chaos.socialL This user is from outside of this forum
                larymir@chaos.socialL This user is from outside of this forum
                larymir@chaos.social
                wrote last edited by
                #11

                @Scmbradley @alice thank you for posting that!
                I thought I remembered that guy being problematic, but Wikipedia only mentioned he is a Baptist pastor and I was wondering if I misremembered or just assumed that he had problematic views because he is a protestant Christian
                But no, I was not mistaken: he has problematic views
                https://www.scarymommy.com/creator-5-love-languages-homophobe

                1 Reply Last reply
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                • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                  I'm watching a video on "The 5 Love Languages" book, and I was curious what Fedi thinks of the model.

                  Please pick 1-5 of the "love languages" that you feel mean the most to you (or "I don't know / not listed"), *and* either A, B, or C to indicate if you think the 5 love languages is reasonably science-based.

                  *I'll answer in the replies later, after the poll has run a bit.

                  #Poll #Love #Relationships #ValentinesDay

                  jn@boopsnoot.deJ This user is from outside of this forum
                  jn@boopsnoot.deJ This user is from outside of this forum
                  jn@boopsnoot.de
                  wrote last edited by
                  #12

                  @alice some thing i find unclear about this, but haven't seen mentioned: do these points mean that i use these things to express my love, or that i like to have these things done to my to have love shown to me? point 5 is explicitly about receiving, but then 5 could easily be folded into 2 as well...

                  the more i look at this list, the less sense it makes

                  alice@lgbtqia.spaceA 1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                    I'm watching a video on "The 5 Love Languages" book, and I was curious what Fedi thinks of the model.

                    Please pick 1-5 of the "love languages" that you feel mean the most to you (or "I don't know / not listed"), *and* either A, B, or C to indicate if you think the 5 love languages is reasonably science-based.

                    *I'll answer in the replies later, after the poll has run a bit.

                    #Poll #Love #Relationships #ValentinesDay

                    sparklesugarfairy@app.wafrn.netS This user is from outside of this forum
                    sparklesugarfairy@app.wafrn.netS This user is from outside of this forum
                    sparklesugarfairy@app.wafrn.net
                    wrote last edited by
                    #13

                    Arent these just common things people want in relationships? why not just call it that (not an insult but its weird were mystifying basic human desires)

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                      I'm watching a video on "The 5 Love Languages" book, and I was curious what Fedi thinks of the model.

                      Please pick 1-5 of the "love languages" that you feel mean the most to you (or "I don't know / not listed"), *and* either A, B, or C to indicate if you think the 5 love languages is reasonably science-based.

                      *I'll answer in the replies later, after the poll has run a bit.

                      #Poll #Love #Relationships #ValentinesDay

                      raineer@frontrange.coR This user is from outside of this forum
                      raineer@frontrange.coR This user is from outside of this forum
                      raineer@frontrange.co
                      wrote last edited by
                      #14

                      @alice I think it’s definitely fact-based that people have different preferences and that most people could express their love language. I’m really surprised to see such a high number on psuedo-science.

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                        I'm watching a video on "The 5 Love Languages" book, and I was curious what Fedi thinks of the model.

                        Please pick 1-5 of the "love languages" that you feel mean the most to you (or "I don't know / not listed"), *and* either A, B, or C to indicate if you think the 5 love languages is reasonably science-based.

                        *I'll answer in the replies later, after the poll has run a bit.

                        #Poll #Love #Relationships #ValentinesDay

                        takotaco@infosec.exchangeT This user is from outside of this forum
                        takotaco@infosec.exchangeT This user is from outside of this forum
                        takotaco@infosec.exchange
                        wrote last edited by
                        #15

                        @alice the dude that came up with this is a homophobic religious zealot and had literally no scientific backing to his writing. It's just more heteronormative boxes that restrain people from expressing themselves freely.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • R relay@relay.infosec.exchange shared this topic
                        • jn@boopsnoot.deJ jn@boopsnoot.de

                          @alice some thing i find unclear about this, but haven't seen mentioned: do these points mean that i use these things to express my love, or that i like to have these things done to my to have love shown to me? point 5 is explicitly about receiving, but then 5 could easily be folded into 2 as well...

                          the more i look at this list, the less sense it makes

                          alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                          alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                          alice@lgbtqia.space
                          wrote last edited by
                          #16

                          @jn I think the author meant things done to or for you, so getting gifts, being touched, etc.

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                            I'm watching a video on "The 5 Love Languages" book, and I was curious what Fedi thinks of the model.

                            Please pick 1-5 of the "love languages" that you feel mean the most to you (or "I don't know / not listed"), *and* either A, B, or C to indicate if you think the 5 love languages is reasonably science-based.

                            *I'll answer in the replies later, after the poll has run a bit.

                            #Poll #Love #Relationships #ValentinesDay

                            aaron@social.caskey-demaret.seA This user is from outside of this forum
                            aaron@social.caskey-demaret.seA This user is from outside of this forum
                            aaron@social.caskey-demaret.se
                            wrote last edited by
                            #17

                            @alice TIL if you misclick your answers in a poll you cannot edit them, and this is by design and will not be changed. https://github.com/mastodon/mastodon/issues/20611

                            alice@lgbtqia.spaceA 1 Reply Last reply
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                            • aaron@social.caskey-demaret.seA aaron@social.caskey-demaret.se

                              @alice TIL if you misclick your answers in a poll you cannot edit them, and this is by design and will not be changed. https://github.com/mastodon/mastodon/issues/20611

                              alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                              alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                              alice@lgbtqia.space
                              wrote last edited by
                              #18

                              @aaron I don't like that design. *Every* poll I run, at least one person (if not several) say they accidentally clicked the wrong option and want to know if they can edit it.

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                                I'm watching a video on "The 5 Love Languages" book, and I was curious what Fedi thinks of the model.

                                Please pick 1-5 of the "love languages" that you feel mean the most to you (or "I don't know / not listed"), *and* either A, B, or C to indicate if you think the 5 love languages is reasonably science-based.

                                *I'll answer in the replies later, after the poll has run a bit.

                                #Poll #Love #Relationships #ValentinesDay

                                joshsusser@autistics.lifeJ This user is from outside of this forum
                                joshsusser@autistics.lifeJ This user is from outside of this forum
                                joshsusser@autistics.life
                                wrote last edited by
                                #19

                                @alice A perfect example of how some psychology thing might be an interesting idea to investigate, but they immediately drive the idea into a ditch by considering only neurotypical people, like they are the only ones worth mentioning. Almost every pop psychology thing I see is entirely useless because it has no idea neurodiversity is even a thing. I have yet to see a single article on procrastination talk about ADHD in any way, unless it was specifically about ADHD. And everything is like that. We ND folk are just outliers to be discounted, so all their models are wrong.

                                emily_rugburn@lgbtqia.spaceE 1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • joshsusser@autistics.lifeJ joshsusser@autistics.life

                                  @alice A perfect example of how some psychology thing might be an interesting idea to investigate, but they immediately drive the idea into a ditch by considering only neurotypical people, like they are the only ones worth mentioning. Almost every pop psychology thing I see is entirely useless because it has no idea neurodiversity is even a thing. I have yet to see a single article on procrastination talk about ADHD in any way, unless it was specifically about ADHD. And everything is like that. We ND folk are just outliers to be discounted, so all their models are wrong.

                                  emily_rugburn@lgbtqia.spaceE This user is from outside of this forum
                                  emily_rugburn@lgbtqia.spaceE This user is from outside of this forum
                                  emily_rugburn@lgbtqia.space
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #20

                                  @joshsusser but but but thats not how statistics work

                                  1 Reply Last reply
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