"Today’s actions are not a cost-cutting exercise or an assessment of individuals’ performance; they are about Cloudflare defining how a world-class, high-growth company operates and creates value in the agentic AI era."

[slothrop@chaos.social]

@mhoye I’ve done my share of corporate PR, I’m not proud of most of it; but that sentence is barely fit for human consumption

[illegalhex@hachyderm.io]

@mhoye the exec class don’t really care if any believes these types these press releases.

This release successfully changed their story to “CEO is clanker” when it would have been Q1 EPS is $0.25 and Q2 earnings have been adjusted downwards.

[greem@cyberplace.social]

@mhoye "world class, high growth company creates value" but not for the likes of us.

Ah, the joys of corpobullshit, where any fiduciary terminology is for the people who already control all the money.

Eat the rich.

[danbrotherston@types.pl]

@mhoye That's entirely unfair...the statement is largely true, this cut isn't about cost cutting...that's totally incidental side benefit.

And it's about defining how a world-class, high-growth company and creates value...

The only note I have is that there is a passive voice in the second part.

I would reword: "The are about aligning with how investors (the VC or "Epstein" class) believe high-growth companies should create value. Sorry, but your sacrifice will generate significant short term growth on the stock exchange."

[chrisamaphone@hci.social]

@mhoye i think you could even completely negate this and it would be a more true statement: "Today's actions are a cost-saving exercise and an assessment of individuals’ performance. They are about Cloudflare defining how a struggling company dealing with high-profile failures malfunctions and destroys value in the agentic AI bubble."

[floe@hci.social]

@slothrop @mhoye I actually hope an LLM wrote that paragraph because whatever it was never had a soul to begin with

[eigen@mattstodon.panar.ooo]

@mhoye huh: the stock value between yesterday & today does not appear to have appreciated this blog post

[mhoye@cosocial.ca]

@eigen I guess he didn't intentionally supercharge the value enough.

[slothrop@chaos.social]

@floe @mhoye that sentence is more glib even than what most LLMs put out.

I feel like whoever wrote this is the kind of person who looks up to Peter Thiel.

[designfactotum@hci.social]

@mhoye “At Cloudflare, our mission is to help build a better Internet. That mission is ambitious, long-term, and requires constant innovation. But building for the future isn’t just about the technology we create — it’s also about investing in the people who will create it. “

https://blog.cloudflare.com/cloudflare-1111-intern-program/ (Sept. 2025)

[jwz@mastodon.social]

@mhoye This is a category error; truth and belief are non-goals. They don't care who believes it, only that journalists publish it verbatim (they will) so that the statement can be referenced in later defensive court filings.

[bexelbie@toot.io]

@mhoye zero because then they’d have to admit those writers won’t be here after they hit send.

[oytis@mastodon.social]

@mhoye What I find somewhat comforting is that the shareholders didn't seem to believe either this time.

[mkoek@mastodon.nl]

@mhoye goodness, these people are full of themselves, aren’t they

[be@floss.social]

@slothrop @mhoye

[dpp@mastodon.social]

@mhoye @wendynather I disagree. There are a dozen or so board members and a few activist investors who believe this.

[rmi@cloudisland.nz]

@mhoye Truth is not the purpose. This is Ritual: they perform Ritual so the stock market will provide them with Grace. The amount of Grace is dependent on the quality of the Ritual.