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  3. My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

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  • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

    My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

    Turns water into wine
    Floats on water
    Makes bread for 5000 people
    Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
    Jesus was a sourdough starter.

    Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

    agowa338@chaos.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
    agowa338@chaos.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
    agowa338@chaos.social
    wrote last edited by
    #2

    @Buster

    Heals people => penicillin

    Oh my, that explains everything!

    Jesus was a type of Yeast, confirmed

    Edit: Oh and also explains why eating his flesh and blood are bread and wine, too.

    msbellows@c.imM 1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

      My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

      Turns water into wine
      Floats on water
      Makes bread for 5000 people
      Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
      Jesus was a sourdough starter.

      Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

      moses_izumi@fe.disroot.orgM This user is from outside of this forum
      moses_izumi@fe.disroot.orgM This user is from outside of this forum
      moses_izumi@fe.disroot.org
      wrote last edited by
      #3
      >Jesus was actually a form of yeast
      If my yeast was a master of parables I'd dedicate my life to it as well.

      RE: https://woof.group/@Buster/116096848875159934
      1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

        My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

        Turns water into wine
        Floats on water
        Makes bread for 5000 people
        Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
        Jesus was a sourdough starter.

        Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

        heinragas@mublog.nlH This user is from outside of this forum
        heinragas@mublog.nlH This user is from outside of this forum
        heinragas@mublog.nl
        wrote last edited by
        #4

        @Buster @MxAlba That would make the transubstantiation not even a miracle -- you could make hosts of Jesus' _actual_ body.

        1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

          My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

          Turns water into wine
          Floats on water
          Makes bread for 5000 people
          Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
          Jesus was a sourdough starter.

          Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

          rockmastermike@beige.partyR This user is from outside of this forum
          rockmastermike@beige.partyR This user is from outside of this forum
          rockmastermike@beige.party
          wrote last edited by
          #5

          @Buster "drink my blood" = wine. "Eat of my body" = bread

          it all fits

          1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • R relay@relay.mycrowd.ca shared this topic
          • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

            My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

            Turns water into wine
            Floats on water
            Makes bread for 5000 people
            Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
            Jesus was a sourdough starter.

            Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

            psneeze@mastodon.ieP This user is from outside of this forum
            psneeze@mastodon.ieP This user is from outside of this forum
            psneeze@mastodon.ie
            wrote last edited by
            #6

            @Buster And he spread to 2.3 billion of the world's population of 8 billion which makes him a yeast infection.

            akamran@indieweb.socialA 1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

              My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

              Turns water into wine
              Floats on water
              Makes bread for 5000 people
              Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
              Jesus was a sourdough starter.

              Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

              lasse@social.tchncs.deL This user is from outside of this forum
              lasse@social.tchncs.deL This user is from outside of this forum
              lasse@social.tchncs.de
              wrote last edited by
              #7

              @Buster Yeastus Christ, you're right 😲!

              1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • agowa338@chaos.socialA agowa338@chaos.social

                @Buster

                Heals people => penicillin

                Oh my, that explains everything!

                Jesus was a type of Yeast, confirmed

                Edit: Oh and also explains why eating his flesh and blood are bread and wine, too.

                msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
                msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
                msbellows@c.im
                wrote last edited by
                #8

                @agowa338 @Buster
                The truth was hidden in plain sight right there in his own words, but no one ever realized it before!

                β€œAgain he asked, β€˜What shall I compare the kingdom of God to? It is like yeast that a woman took and mixed into about thirty kilograms of flour until it worked all through the dough.’” – Luke 13:20-21

                "Be careful. Watch out for the yeast of the Pharisees and that of Herod.” – Mark 8:15

                agowa338@chaos.socialA msbellows@c.imM 2 Replies Last reply
                0
                • msbellows@c.imM msbellows@c.im

                  @agowa338 @Buster
                  The truth was hidden in plain sight right there in his own words, but no one ever realized it before!

                  β€œAgain he asked, β€˜What shall I compare the kingdom of God to? It is like yeast that a woman took and mixed into about thirty kilograms of flour until it worked all through the dough.’” – Luke 13:20-21

                  "Be careful. Watch out for the yeast of the Pharisees and that of Herod.” – Mark 8:15

                  agowa338@chaos.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
                  agowa338@chaos.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
                  agowa338@chaos.social
                  wrote last edited by
                  #9

                  @msbellows @Buster

                  Also fits in with people singing church songs* while cooking

                  * (as they didn't have clocks nor timers at home that's what they used to track the time in between steps, e.g. Step XYZ, sing 5 Ave Maria, ...)

                  Christianity is just a big cooking club.

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

                    My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                    Turns water into wine
                    Floats on water
                    Makes bread for 5000 people
                    Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                    Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                    Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                    cadbury_moose@wandering.shopC This user is from outside of this forum
                    cadbury_moose@wandering.shopC This user is from outside of this forum
                    cadbury_moose@wandering.shop
                    wrote last edited by
                    #10

                    @Buster

                    Knud Axel Syrup[1]: "Judas, Yeast!".

                    [1] "The Makeshift Rocket" by Poul Anderson.

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

                      My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                      Turns water into wine
                      Floats on water
                      Makes bread for 5000 people
                      Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                      Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                      Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                      bololacertus@mstdn.mxB This user is from outside of this forum
                      bololacertus@mstdn.mxB This user is from outside of this forum
                      bololacertus@mstdn.mx
                      wrote last edited by
                      #11

                      @Buster Now the part of "eat of this bread for it is my flesh" makes sense. It was not about zombies at all.

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

                        My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                        Turns water into wine
                        Floats on water
                        Makes bread for 5000 people
                        Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                        Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                        Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                        nigenet@mastodon.socialN This user is from outside of this forum
                        nigenet@mastodon.socialN This user is from outside of this forum
                        nigenet@mastodon.social
                        wrote last edited by
                        #12

                        @Buster Now singing "Jesus was a sourdough starter" to the tune of Jerry Was A Racecar Driver by Primus πŸ™‚

                        ozzelot@mstdn.socialO 1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

                          My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                          Turns water into wine
                          Floats on water
                          Makes bread for 5000 people
                          Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                          Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                          Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                          yuvalne@433.worldY This user is from outside of this forum
                          yuvalne@433.worldY This user is from outside of this forum
                          yuvalne@433.world
                          wrote last edited by
                          #13

                          @Buster funnily enough, some fringe scholars do actually think Jesus was a type of fungus, though they use other (quite out there) arguments to get to that conclusion.
                          https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Sacred_Mushroom_and_the_Cross?wprov=sfla1

                          celesteh@hachyderm.ioC 1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

                            My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                            Turns water into wine
                            Floats on water
                            Makes bread for 5000 people
                            Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                            Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                            Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                            jasper@mastodon.nlJ This user is from outside of this forum
                            jasper@mastodon.nlJ This user is from outside of this forum
                            jasper@mastodon.nl
                            wrote last edited by
                            #14

                            @Buster 🍞 nom https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sacramental_bread

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • yuvalne@433.worldY yuvalne@433.world

                              @Buster funnily enough, some fringe scholars do actually think Jesus was a type of fungus, though they use other (quite out there) arguments to get to that conclusion.
                              https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Sacred_Mushroom_and_the_Cross?wprov=sfla1

                              celesteh@hachyderm.ioC This user is from outside of this forum
                              celesteh@hachyderm.ioC This user is from outside of this forum
                              celesteh@hachyderm.io
                              wrote last edited by
                              #15

                              @Yuvalne @Buster

                              This is the plot to a Philip K Dick novel. It's one of my favourites.

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • psneeze@mastodon.ieP psneeze@mastodon.ie

                                @Buster And he spread to 2.3 billion of the world's population of 8 billion which makes him a yeast infection.

                                akamran@indieweb.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
                                akamran@indieweb.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
                                akamran@indieweb.social
                                wrote last edited by
                                #16

                                @psneeze @Buster ok that made me cackle out loud, thank god I'm alone atm

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

                                  My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                                  Turns water into wine
                                  Floats on water
                                  Makes bread for 5000 people
                                  Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                                  Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                                  Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                                  amro@todon.nlA This user is from outside of this forum
                                  amro@todon.nlA This user is from outside of this forum
                                  amro@todon.nl
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #17

                                  @Buster Yeastus! πŸ˜‚πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™€οΈ

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • nigenet@mastodon.socialN nigenet@mastodon.social

                                    @Buster Now singing "Jesus was a sourdough starter" to the tune of Jerry Was A Racecar Driver by Primus πŸ™‚

                                    ozzelot@mstdn.socialO This user is from outside of this forum
                                    ozzelot@mstdn.socialO This user is from outside of this forum
                                    ozzelot@mstdn.social
                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #18

                                    @nigenet @Buster The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles theme also gets the job done.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

                                      My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                                      Turns water into wine
                                      Floats on water
                                      Makes bread for 5000 people
                                      Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                                      Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                                      Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                                      nickapos@mastodon.oncrete.ukN This user is from outside of this forum
                                      nickapos@mastodon.oncrete.ukN This user is from outside of this forum
                                      nickapos@mastodon.oncrete.uk
                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #19

                                      @Buster I am pretty Jesus pronoun would be them

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

                                        My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                                        Turns water into wine
                                        Floats on water
                                        Makes bread for 5000 people
                                        Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                                        Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                                        Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                                        travisfw@fosstodon.orgT This user is from outside of this forum
                                        travisfw@fosstodon.orgT This user is from outside of this forum
                                        travisfw@fosstodon.org
                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #20

                                        @Buster in his book Entangled Life, Merlin Sheldrake has a section collecting theories about psychedelic fungi originating religions, connecting possession and enlightenment and so on.

                                        Jesus was definitely a fun-gi.

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • msbellows@c.imM msbellows@c.im

                                          @agowa338 @Buster
                                          The truth was hidden in plain sight right there in his own words, but no one ever realized it before!

                                          β€œAgain he asked, β€˜What shall I compare the kingdom of God to? It is like yeast that a woman took and mixed into about thirty kilograms of flour until it worked all through the dough.’” – Luke 13:20-21

                                          "Be careful. Watch out for the yeast of the Pharisees and that of Herod.” – Mark 8:15

                                          msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
                                          msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
                                          msbellows@c.im
                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #21

                                          @agowa338 @Buster OOH! OOH! And what Jewish holiday did Easter ("He is risen! he is risen indeed!") evolve from?

                                          The Feast of Unleavened Bread!

                                          psneeze@mastodon.ieP 1 Reply Last reply
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