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  3. My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

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  • buster@woof.groupB This user is from outside of this forum
    buster@woof.groupB This user is from outside of this forum
    buster@woof.group
    wrote last edited by
    #1

    My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

    Turns water into wine
    Floats on water
    Makes bread for 5000 people
    Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
    Jesus was a sourdough starter.

    Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

    agowa338@chaos.socialA moses_izumi@fe.disroot.orgM heinragas@mublog.nlH rockmastermike@beige.partyR psneeze@mastodon.ieP 16 Replies Last reply
    2
    0
    • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

      My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

      Turns water into wine
      Floats on water
      Makes bread for 5000 people
      Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
      Jesus was a sourdough starter.

      Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

      agowa338@chaos.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
      agowa338@chaos.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
      agowa338@chaos.social
      wrote last edited by
      #2

      @Buster

      Heals people => penicillin

      Oh my, that explains everything!

      Jesus was a type of Yeast, confirmed

      Edit: Oh and also explains why eating his flesh and blood are bread and wine, too.

      msbellows@c.imM 1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

        My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

        Turns water into wine
        Floats on water
        Makes bread for 5000 people
        Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
        Jesus was a sourdough starter.

        Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

        moses_izumi@fe.disroot.orgM This user is from outside of this forum
        moses_izumi@fe.disroot.orgM This user is from outside of this forum
        moses_izumi@fe.disroot.org
        wrote last edited by
        #3
        >Jesus was actually a form of yeast
        If my yeast was a master of parables I'd dedicate my life to it as well.

        RE: https://woof.group/@Buster/116096848875159934
        1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

          My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

          Turns water into wine
          Floats on water
          Makes bread for 5000 people
          Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
          Jesus was a sourdough starter.

          Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

          heinragas@mublog.nlH This user is from outside of this forum
          heinragas@mublog.nlH This user is from outside of this forum
          heinragas@mublog.nl
          wrote last edited by
          #4

          @Buster @MxAlba That would make the transubstantiation not even a miracle -- you could make hosts of Jesus' _actual_ body.

          1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

            My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

            Turns water into wine
            Floats on water
            Makes bread for 5000 people
            Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
            Jesus was a sourdough starter.

            Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

            rockmastermike@beige.partyR This user is from outside of this forum
            rockmastermike@beige.partyR This user is from outside of this forum
            rockmastermike@beige.party
            wrote last edited by
            #5

            @Buster "drink my blood" = wine. "Eat of my body" = bread

            it all fits

            1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • R relay@relay.mycrowd.ca shared this topic
            • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

              My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

              Turns water into wine
              Floats on water
              Makes bread for 5000 people
              Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
              Jesus was a sourdough starter.

              Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

              psneeze@mastodon.ieP This user is from outside of this forum
              psneeze@mastodon.ieP This user is from outside of this forum
              psneeze@mastodon.ie
              wrote last edited by
              #6

              @Buster And he spread to 2.3 billion of the world's population of 8 billion which makes him a yeast infection.

              akamran@indieweb.socialA 1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

                My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                Turns water into wine
                Floats on water
                Makes bread for 5000 people
                Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                lasse@social.tchncs.deL This user is from outside of this forum
                lasse@social.tchncs.deL This user is from outside of this forum
                lasse@social.tchncs.de
                wrote last edited by
                #7

                @Buster Yeastus Christ, you're right 😲!

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • agowa338@chaos.socialA agowa338@chaos.social

                  @Buster

                  Heals people => penicillin

                  Oh my, that explains everything!

                  Jesus was a type of Yeast, confirmed

                  Edit: Oh and also explains why eating his flesh and blood are bread and wine, too.

                  msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
                  msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
                  msbellows@c.im
                  wrote last edited by
                  #8

                  @agowa338 @Buster
                  The truth was hidden in plain sight right there in his own words, but no one ever realized it before!

                  β€œAgain he asked, β€˜What shall I compare the kingdom of God to? It is like yeast that a woman took and mixed into about thirty kilograms of flour until it worked all through the dough.’” – Luke 13:20-21

                  "Be careful. Watch out for the yeast of the Pharisees and that of Herod.” – Mark 8:15

                  agowa338@chaos.socialA msbellows@c.imM 2 Replies Last reply
                  0
                  • msbellows@c.imM msbellows@c.im

                    @agowa338 @Buster
                    The truth was hidden in plain sight right there in his own words, but no one ever realized it before!

                    β€œAgain he asked, β€˜What shall I compare the kingdom of God to? It is like yeast that a woman took and mixed into about thirty kilograms of flour until it worked all through the dough.’” – Luke 13:20-21

                    "Be careful. Watch out for the yeast of the Pharisees and that of Herod.” – Mark 8:15

                    agowa338@chaos.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
                    agowa338@chaos.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
                    agowa338@chaos.social
                    wrote last edited by
                    #9

                    @msbellows @Buster

                    Also fits in with people singing church songs* while cooking

                    * (as they didn't have clocks nor timers at home that's what they used to track the time in between steps, e.g. Step XYZ, sing 5 Ave Maria, ...)

                    Christianity is just a big cooking club.

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

                      My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                      Turns water into wine
                      Floats on water
                      Makes bread for 5000 people
                      Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                      Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                      Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                      cadbury_moose@wandering.shopC This user is from outside of this forum
                      cadbury_moose@wandering.shopC This user is from outside of this forum
                      cadbury_moose@wandering.shop
                      wrote last edited by
                      #10

                      @Buster

                      Knud Axel Syrup[1]: "Judas, Yeast!".

                      [1] "The Makeshift Rocket" by Poul Anderson.

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

                        My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                        Turns water into wine
                        Floats on water
                        Makes bread for 5000 people
                        Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                        Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                        Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                        bololacertus@mstdn.mxB This user is from outside of this forum
                        bololacertus@mstdn.mxB This user is from outside of this forum
                        bololacertus@mstdn.mx
                        wrote last edited by
                        #11

                        @Buster Now the part of "eat of this bread for it is my flesh" makes sense. It was not about zombies at all.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

                          My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                          Turns water into wine
                          Floats on water
                          Makes bread for 5000 people
                          Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                          Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                          Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                          nigenet@mastodon.socialN This user is from outside of this forum
                          nigenet@mastodon.socialN This user is from outside of this forum
                          nigenet@mastodon.social
                          wrote last edited by
                          #12

                          @Buster Now singing "Jesus was a sourdough starter" to the tune of Jerry Was A Racecar Driver by Primus πŸ™‚

                          ozzelot@mstdn.socialO 1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

                            My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                            Turns water into wine
                            Floats on water
                            Makes bread for 5000 people
                            Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                            Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                            Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                            yuvalne@433.worldY This user is from outside of this forum
                            yuvalne@433.worldY This user is from outside of this forum
                            yuvalne@433.world
                            wrote last edited by
                            #13

                            @Buster funnily enough, some fringe scholars do actually think Jesus was a type of fungus, though they use other (quite out there) arguments to get to that conclusion.
                            https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Sacred_Mushroom_and_the_Cross?wprov=sfla1

                            celesteh@hachyderm.ioC 1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

                              My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                              Turns water into wine
                              Floats on water
                              Makes bread for 5000 people
                              Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                              Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                              Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                              jasper@mastodon.nlJ This user is from outside of this forum
                              jasper@mastodon.nlJ This user is from outside of this forum
                              jasper@mastodon.nl
                              wrote last edited by
                              #14

                              @Buster 🍞 nom https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sacramental_bread

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • yuvalne@433.worldY yuvalne@433.world

                                @Buster funnily enough, some fringe scholars do actually think Jesus was a type of fungus, though they use other (quite out there) arguments to get to that conclusion.
                                https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Sacred_Mushroom_and_the_Cross?wprov=sfla1

                                celesteh@hachyderm.ioC This user is from outside of this forum
                                celesteh@hachyderm.ioC This user is from outside of this forum
                                celesteh@hachyderm.io
                                wrote last edited by
                                #15

                                @Yuvalne @Buster

                                This is the plot to a Philip K Dick novel. It's one of my favourites.

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • psneeze@mastodon.ieP psneeze@mastodon.ie

                                  @Buster And he spread to 2.3 billion of the world's population of 8 billion which makes him a yeast infection.

                                  akamran@indieweb.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
                                  akamran@indieweb.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
                                  akamran@indieweb.social
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #16

                                  @psneeze @Buster ok that made me cackle out loud, thank god I'm alone atm

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

                                    My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                                    Turns water into wine
                                    Floats on water
                                    Makes bread for 5000 people
                                    Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                                    Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                                    Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                                    amro@todon.nlA This user is from outside of this forum
                                    amro@todon.nlA This user is from outside of this forum
                                    amro@todon.nl
                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #17

                                    @Buster Yeastus! πŸ˜‚πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™€οΈ

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • nigenet@mastodon.socialN nigenet@mastodon.social

                                      @Buster Now singing "Jesus was a sourdough starter" to the tune of Jerry Was A Racecar Driver by Primus πŸ™‚

                                      ozzelot@mstdn.socialO This user is from outside of this forum
                                      ozzelot@mstdn.socialO This user is from outside of this forum
                                      ozzelot@mstdn.social
                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #18

                                      @nigenet @Buster The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles theme also gets the job done.

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

                                        My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                                        Turns water into wine
                                        Floats on water
                                        Makes bread for 5000 people
                                        Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                                        Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                                        Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                                        nickapos@mastodon.oncrete.ukN This user is from outside of this forum
                                        nickapos@mastodon.oncrete.ukN This user is from outside of this forum
                                        nickapos@mastodon.oncrete.uk
                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #19

                                        @Buster I am pretty Jesus pronoun would be them

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

                                          My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                                          Turns water into wine
                                          Floats on water
                                          Makes bread for 5000 people
                                          Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                                          Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                                          Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                                          travisfw@fosstodon.orgT This user is from outside of this forum
                                          travisfw@fosstodon.orgT This user is from outside of this forum
                                          travisfw@fosstodon.org
                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #20

                                          @Buster in his book Entangled Life, Merlin Sheldrake has a section collecting theories about psychedelic fungi originating religions, connecting possession and enlightenment and so on.

                                          Jesus was definitely a fun-gi.

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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