I hope John Roberts can't watch the NFL playoff games today because he has explosive diarrhea.

[msbellows@c.im]

@Waldorf Some of them are quite simple! I try to mix it up!

[grammasaurus@mastodon.social]

@Waldorf @msbellows I actually thought his scenario was quite plausible, given the current state of affairs in DC.

[msbellows@c.im]

@Waldorf @grammasaurus If I keep doing this long enough, eventually a day will come when what I wish is what actually happens to him that day.

I feel like today's was one that was especially likely to come true.

[msbellows@c.im]

I hope John Roberts' pillow is too hot tonight no matter how many times he flips it looking for the cool side.

[msbellows@c.im]

I hope John Roberts' law clerks all were sick today so he had to actually do his own legal research and he ended up wandering angrily around the Supreme Court law library stacking heavy volumes of West's case law on tables and wondering why the hell the Shephards annual, monthly, and weekly pocket parts haven't been kept up to date. #law

[msbellows@c.im]

I hope John Roberts picks up a can of leftover Coke he finds on the counter and accidentally swallows a giant dead housefly.

[waldorf@infosec.exchange]

@msbellows A dead housefly BIG enough to do some good wouldn't fit in a can!

[qurlyjoe@mstdn.social]

@Waldorf @msbellows
Around this court he’s liable to choke on a pubic hair in a coke can.

[msbellows@c.im]

I hope John Roberts is rooting for the Patriots. #SuperBowl

[msbellows@c.im]

I hope John Roberts wants to watch "Bugonia" with Jesse Plemons and Emma Stone tonight and then realizes he doesn't subscribe to Peacock.

[msbellows@c.im]

I hope John Roberts leaves the Supreme Court bathroom with a long strip of toilet paper stuck to his heel and all the clerks laugh at him behind his back.

[msbellows@c.im]

I hope John Roberts is alone in his study tonight surreptitiously watching some old man-young actress porn that Clarence Thomas recommended and then his wife walks in and is visibly disgusted.

[msbellows@c.im]

I hope John Roberts is really excited to watch the women's halfpipe finals in the Olympics today but his TV shows nothing but flickering black and white vertical lines and the warranty just expired.

[msbellows@c.im]

I hope someone showed John Roberts Ian McKellan's performance of "The Stranger's Case speech" on Colbert and he objected loudly, "Bullshit. I took a Shakespeare class at Harvard and they never mentioned a play called 'Sir Thomas More'!" and a passing stranger responded, 'well, I attended the excellent public university U.C. Davis and they certainly taught ME that. Sorry you paid so much for a shitty education, loser," and then Justice Roberts felt confused and embarrassed. https://youtu.be/Nwd6vcfR3HI?si=UxmdNUxvUqO22inr

[msbellows@c.im]

I hope John Roberts' wife hands him a giant heart-shaped box of candy for Valentine's Day today and he feels happy and romantic but when he opens it it contains nothing but maple creams and artificial cherry flavored wax lips.

[maryaustinbooks@mstdn.social]

@msbellows
With all those bribes she takes on his behalf, he ought to take her to a nice dinner regardless.

[msbellows@c.im]

I hope John Roberts was impotent last night on Valentine's Day and then this morning he felt more vigorous but his wife said she had a Sunday morning nail appointment and then she was away an oddly long time just for a nail appointment.

[kims@mas.to]

@msbellows
May both sides of his pillow always be hot

[msbellows@c.im]

I hope John Roberts drives over a pothole on his way to work this morning and instantly a giant crack appears in his windshield.

[meltedcheese@c.im]

@msbellows Sometimes, it’s the little things that count.