I hope John Roberts can't watch the NFL playoff games today because he has explosive diarrhea.
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I hope John Roberts has to get up in the middle of the night to pee because of his enlarged prostate and stubs his baby toe REALLY hard on the metal corner of his bedframe.
@msbellows This would be funnier if I hadn't done the same fucking thing multiple times.
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I hope John Roberts has to get up in the middle of the night to pee because of his enlarged prostate and stubs his baby toe REALLY hard on the metal corner of his bedframe.
I hope John Roberts comes home tonight and is astounded to find, on his front porch, a completely functional time machine so he travels back to 1787 to actually meet the Framers of the U.S. Constitution except he contracts cholera and dies painfully but not from the cholera itself but rather from the 18th century physicians who apply leeches and let his blood until he becomes fatally exsanguinated. #OriginalistMedicine
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I hope John Roberts comes home tonight and is astounded to find, on his front porch, a completely functional time machine so he travels back to 1787 to actually meet the Framers of the U.S. Constitution except he contracts cholera and dies painfully but not from the cholera itself but rather from the 18th century physicians who apply leeches and let his blood until he becomes fatally exsanguinated. #OriginalistMedicine
@msbellows how did I miss this thread when you started it?
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@msbellows how did I miss this thread when you started it?
@grammasaurus ,_/\_
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I hope John Roberts comes home tonight and is astounded to find, on his front porch, a completely functional time machine so he travels back to 1787 to actually meet the Framers of the U.S. Constitution except he contracts cholera and dies painfully but not from the cholera itself but rather from the 18th century physicians who apply leeches and let his blood until he becomes fatally exsanguinated. #OriginalistMedicine
I hope John Roberts goes to an exclusive party thrown by a D.C. powerbroker and accidentally picks up a roofied drink intended for a young intern and the intern gets home safely but Roberts gets completely wasted and a recently-fired WaPo photojournalist who now has to try and make a living as a freelancer gets a really embarrassing photo and it goes viral and now everyone is sure the Chief Justice is an alkie.
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I hope John Roberts goes to an exclusive party thrown by a D.C. powerbroker and accidentally picks up a roofied drink intended for a young intern and the intern gets home safely but Roberts gets completely wasted and a recently-fired WaPo photojournalist who now has to try and make a living as a freelancer gets a really embarrassing photo and it goes viral and now everyone is sure the Chief Justice is an alkie.
@msbellows MS, your wishes are quite complicated! Why not something like:
I wish John Roberts would fall into an open manhole and wash out to sea with the other turds.
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@msbellows MS, your wishes are quite complicated! Why not something like:
I wish John Roberts would fall into an open manhole and wash out to sea with the other turds.
@Waldorf Some of them are quite simple! I try to mix it up!
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@msbellows MS, your wishes are quite complicated! Why not something like:
I wish John Roberts would fall into an open manhole and wash out to sea with the other turds.
@Waldorf @msbellows I actually thought his scenario was quite plausible, given the current state of affairs in DC.
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@Waldorf @msbellows I actually thought his scenario was quite plausible, given the current state of affairs in DC.
@Waldorf @grammasaurus If I keep doing this long enough, eventually a day will come when what I wish is what actually happens to him that day.
I feel like today's was one that was especially likely to come true.
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I hope John Roberts goes to an exclusive party thrown by a D.C. powerbroker and accidentally picks up a roofied drink intended for a young intern and the intern gets home safely but Roberts gets completely wasted and a recently-fired WaPo photojournalist who now has to try and make a living as a freelancer gets a really embarrassing photo and it goes viral and now everyone is sure the Chief Justice is an alkie.
I hope John Roberts' pillow is too hot tonight no matter how many times he flips it looking for the cool side.
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I hope John Roberts' pillow is too hot tonight no matter how many times he flips it looking for the cool side.
I hope John Roberts' law clerks all were sick today so he had to actually do his own legal research and he ended up wandering angrily around the Supreme Court law library stacking heavy volumes of West's case law on tables and wondering why the hell the Shephards annual, monthly, and weekly pocket parts haven't been kept up to date. #law
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I hope John Roberts' law clerks all were sick today so he had to actually do his own legal research and he ended up wandering angrily around the Supreme Court law library stacking heavy volumes of West's case law on tables and wondering why the hell the Shephards annual, monthly, and weekly pocket parts haven't been kept up to date. #law
I hope John Roberts picks up a can of leftover Coke he finds on the counter and accidentally swallows a giant dead housefly.
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I hope John Roberts picks up a can of leftover Coke he finds on the counter and accidentally swallows a giant dead housefly.
@msbellows A dead housefly BIG enough to do some good wouldn't fit in a can!
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@msbellows A dead housefly BIG enough to do some good wouldn't fit in a can!
@Waldorf @msbellows
Around this court he’s liable to choke on a pubic hair in a coke can. -
I hope John Roberts picks up a can of leftover Coke he finds on the counter and accidentally swallows a giant dead housefly.
I hope John Roberts is rooting for the Patriots. #SuperBowl
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I hope John Roberts is rooting for the Patriots. #SuperBowl
I hope John Roberts wants to watch "Bugonia" with Jesse Plemons and Emma Stone tonight and then realizes he doesn't subscribe to Peacock.
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I hope John Roberts wants to watch "Bugonia" with Jesse Plemons and Emma Stone tonight and then realizes he doesn't subscribe to Peacock.
I hope John Roberts leaves the Supreme Court bathroom with a long strip of toilet paper stuck to his heel and all the clerks laugh at him behind his back.
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I hope John Roberts leaves the Supreme Court bathroom with a long strip of toilet paper stuck to his heel and all the clerks laugh at him behind his back.
I hope John Roberts is alone in his study tonight surreptitiously watching some old man-young actress porn that Clarence Thomas recommended and then his wife walks in and is visibly disgusted.
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I hope John Roberts is alone in his study tonight surreptitiously watching some old man-young actress porn that Clarence Thomas recommended and then his wife walks in and is visibly disgusted.
I hope John Roberts is really excited to watch the women's halfpipe finals in the Olympics today but his TV shows nothing but flickering black and white vertical lines and the warranty just expired.
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I hope John Roberts is really excited to watch the women's halfpipe finals in the Olympics today but his TV shows nothing but flickering black and white vertical lines and the warranty just expired.
I hope someone showed John Roberts Ian McKellan's performance of "The Stranger's Case speech" on Colbert and he objected loudly, "Bullshit. I took a Shakespeare class at Harvard and they never mentioned a play called 'Sir Thomas More'!" and a passing stranger responded, 'well, I attended the excellent public university U.C. Davis and they certainly taught ME that. Sorry you paid so much for a shitty education, loser," and then Justice Roberts felt confused and embarrassed. https://youtu.be/Nwd6vcfR3HI?si=UxmdNUxvUqO22inr
