I hope John Roberts can't watch the NFL playoff games today because he has explosive diarrhea.

[qurlyjoe@mstdn.social]

@Waldorf @msbellows
Around this court he’s liable to choke on a pubic hair in a coke can.

[msbellows@c.im]

I hope John Roberts is rooting for the Patriots. #SuperBowl

[msbellows@c.im]

I hope John Roberts wants to watch "Bugonia" with Jesse Plemons and Emma Stone tonight and then realizes he doesn't subscribe to Peacock.

[msbellows@c.im]

I hope John Roberts leaves the Supreme Court bathroom with a long strip of toilet paper stuck to his heel and all the clerks laugh at him behind his back.

[msbellows@c.im]

I hope John Roberts is alone in his study tonight surreptitiously watching some old man-young actress porn that Clarence Thomas recommended and then his wife walks in and is visibly disgusted.

[msbellows@c.im]

I hope John Roberts is really excited to watch the women's halfpipe finals in the Olympics today but his TV shows nothing but flickering black and white vertical lines and the warranty just expired.

[msbellows@c.im]

I hope someone showed John Roberts Ian McKellan's performance of "The Stranger's Case speech" on Colbert and he objected loudly, "Bullshit. I took a Shakespeare class at Harvard and they never mentioned a play called 'Sir Thomas More'!" and a passing stranger responded, 'well, I attended the excellent public university U.C. Davis and they certainly taught ME that. Sorry you paid so much for a shitty education, loser," and then Justice Roberts felt confused and embarrassed. https://youtu.be/Nwd6vcfR3HI?si=UxmdNUxvUqO22inr

[msbellows@c.im]

I hope John Roberts' wife hands him a giant heart-shaped box of candy for Valentine's Day today and he feels happy and romantic but when he opens it it contains nothing but maple creams and artificial cherry flavored wax lips.

[maryaustinbooks@mstdn.social]

@msbellows
With all those bribes she takes on his behalf, he ought to take her to a nice dinner regardless.

[msbellows@c.im]

I hope John Roberts was impotent last night on Valentine's Day and then this morning he felt more vigorous but his wife said she had a Sunday morning nail appointment and then she was away an oddly long time just for a nail appointment.

[kims@mas.to]

@msbellows
May both sides of his pillow always be hot

[msbellows@c.im]

I hope John Roberts drives over a pothole on his way to work this morning and instantly a giant crack appears in his windshield.

[meltedcheese@c.im]

@msbellows Sometimes, it’s the little things that count.

[msbellows@c.im]

I hope one of John Roberts' adult kids watched last night's Colbert and was shocked to learn how CBS obeyed the tyrant in advance by censoring the planned show, and so picked up the phone and said, "Dad, I love you, but I'm really angry and disappointed in you for empowering these assholes, and I think it's best if we don't talk for a while."

[sarae@ecoevo.social]

@msbellows hell I hope his mom told him that

I came downstairs the other night and learned my dad's gotten big into Colbert

[tuban_muzuru@beige.party]

@msbellows

Roberts vacations on Hupper Island, off Port Clyde in midcoast Maine. A flotilla of kayaks out there harassing him about making Trump into a king....

[msbellows@c.im]

@tuban_muzuru Have they done that, or is it a wish?

[tuban_muzuru@beige.party]

@msbellows

July 19, 2025 Citizens opposed to the Supreme Court's direction launched kayaks from the public landing in Port Clyde and paddled a few hundred yards across to Roberts' home on Hupper Island.

[msbellows@c.im]

I hope John Roberts has to leave work early because of an incredibly intense migraine focused exactly behind his right eye.

[heafnerj@mstdn.social]

@msbellows ...oddly specific...