My washing machine doesn’t need Wi-Fi
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Inspired by @Aphrodite's toot https://chaos.social/@Aphrodite/116148402855469985.
@neil @Aphrodite My washing machine does have bluetooth, i tried it once it's completely useless.
Funniest thing was if it took longer than it had estimated the app would just change the time it said it had started
I didn't want bluetooth but it was one of the few models available to be delivered when I wanted (the original one i'd picked wasn't in stock dispite showing otherwise) and also had the steam function I did want.
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My washing machine doesn’t need Wi-Fi.
It's a feature that I would regret.
I just need a way to wash my pants.
Not show them to the Internet.My oven doesn't need Wi-Fi.
I'd value that least of all.
It's already shielded from getting too hot.
It doesn't need another firewall.My fridge does not need Wi-Fi.
That is just not useful for me.
I want a place to chill my food.
Not chat via TCP/IP.@neil I wouldn’t mind all these things having WiFi if it was along the lines of OBD-2 in a car. Just query the internal state of the device. But no, it’s used as a conduit for enshittification.
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@neil @Aphrodite My washing machine does have bluetooth, i tried it once it's completely useless.
Funniest thing was if it took longer than it had estimated the app would just change the time it said it had started
I didn't want bluetooth but it was one of the few models available to be delivered when I wanted (the original one i'd picked wasn't in stock dispite showing otherwise) and also had the steam function I did want.
@Dragon @neil @Aphrodite to be honest I have a pretty extensive smarthome setup…lots of intelligent devices controlled over WiFi. My dishwasher and washing machine also have WiFi…but never once have I used the WiFi nor have a desire to do so (talk to my wife and she says I’ve never used the machines either🫢). The timers on both devices work very well and supplant the need for any WiFi connection. I can’t see the use case…
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My washing machine doesn’t need Wi-Fi.
It's a feature that I would regret.
I just need a way to wash my pants.
Not show them to the Internet.My oven doesn't need Wi-Fi.
I'd value that least of all.
It's already shielded from getting too hot.
It doesn't need another firewall.My fridge does not need Wi-Fi.
That is just not useful for me.
I want a place to chill my food.
Not chat via TCP/IP.@neil oh yes. But now I see all these lost socks communicating with remaining friends via Wifi how to make a revolution and leave humans!
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My washing machine doesn’t need Wi-Fi.
It's a feature that I would regret.
I just need a way to wash my pants.
Not show them to the Internet.My oven doesn't need Wi-Fi.
I'd value that least of all.
It's already shielded from getting too hot.
It doesn't need another firewall.My fridge does not need Wi-Fi.
That is just not useful for me.
I want a place to chill my food.
Not chat via TCP/IP.@neil I wrote a short story related to this: How my wife got brain-hacked (again). It's the story of a man who finally bought an electric toothbrush for his wife’s birthday. Pdf: https://press.palni.org/ojs/index.php/academfic/article/view/808/737
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My washing machine doesn’t need Wi-Fi.
It's a feature that I would regret.
I just need a way to wash my pants.
Not show them to the Internet.My oven doesn't need Wi-Fi.
I'd value that least of all.
It's already shielded from getting too hot.
It doesn't need another firewall.My fridge does not need Wi-Fi.
That is just not useful for me.
I want a place to chill my food.
Not chat via TCP/IP.@neil I also don't understand the urge to connect all devices to the internet. Even your toothbrush. I guess I'm just an analogue old man
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My washing machine doesn’t need Wi-Fi.
It's a feature that I would regret.
I just need a way to wash my pants.
Not show them to the Internet.My oven doesn't need Wi-Fi.
I'd value that least of all.
It's already shielded from getting too hot.
It doesn't need another firewall.My fridge does not need Wi-Fi.
That is just not useful for me.
I want a place to chill my food.
Not chat via TCP/IP.@neil But Neil you're being heartless
We will just take a peep
(We and our twenty thousand spying partners
And yes we never sleep). -
My washing machine doesn’t need Wi-Fi.
It's a feature that I would regret.
I just need a way to wash my pants.
Not show them to the Internet.My oven doesn't need Wi-Fi.
I'd value that least of all.
It's already shielded from getting too hot.
It doesn't need another firewall.My fridge does not need Wi-Fi.
That is just not useful for me.
I want a place to chill my food.
Not chat via TCP/IP.It comes in handy when you leave the door open on your smartfridge. You'll get a notification.
(But I never understood why the fridge doesn't close the door itself, being so smart..
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My washing machine doesn’t need Wi-Fi.
It's a feature that I would regret.
I just need a way to wash my pants.
Not show them to the Internet.My oven doesn't need Wi-Fi.
I'd value that least of all.
It's already shielded from getting too hot.
It doesn't need another firewall.My fridge does not need Wi-Fi.
That is just not useful for me.
I want a place to chill my food.
Not chat via TCP/IP.@neil Should these devices need WiFi I’d grant them a WiFi but block internet access
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My washing machine doesn’t need Wi-Fi.
It's a feature that I would regret.
I just need a way to wash my pants.
Not show them to the Internet.My oven doesn't need Wi-Fi.
I'd value that least of all.
It's already shielded from getting too hot.
It doesn't need another firewall.My fridge does not need Wi-Fi.
That is just not useful for me.
I want a place to chill my food.
Not chat via TCP/IP.My microwave is clearly best.
It's never sent a SYN request.It might cook food unevenly
but doesn't need DHCP.No updates needed, no network jack,
for nation-states to come and hack.If power blinks, the clock will flash,
but remote attacks can't make it crash.When your app's site decides to close
I'll still enjoy my burritos. -
R relay@relay.infosec.exchange shared this topic
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@Dragon @neil @Aphrodite to be honest I have a pretty extensive smarthome setup…lots of intelligent devices controlled over WiFi. My dishwasher and washing machine also have WiFi…but never once have I used the WiFi nor have a desire to do so (talk to my wife and she says I’ve never used the machines either🫢). The timers on both devices work very well and supplant the need for any WiFi connection. I can’t see the use case…
@g7vkq @Dragon @neil @Aphrodite Same. I've got WiFi power monitoring plugs on all interesting devices, and generate an "I'm finished" alert where necessary by watching for when the power use drops. This is optimal, in my opinion.
I do not need not want apps or to manage updates on my domestic appliances.
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R relay@relay.an.exchange shared this topic
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My washing machine doesn’t need Wi-Fi.
It's a feature that I would regret.
I just need a way to wash my pants.
Not show them to the Internet.My oven doesn't need Wi-Fi.
I'd value that least of all.
It's already shielded from getting too hot.
It doesn't need another firewall.My fridge does not need Wi-Fi.
That is just not useful for me.
I want a place to chill my food.
Not chat via TCP/IP.@neil Rage Against The (Aggressively Intrusive) Machine
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My washing machine doesn’t need Wi-Fi.
It's a feature that I would regret.
I just need a way to wash my pants.
Not show them to the Internet.My oven doesn't need Wi-Fi.
I'd value that least of all.
It's already shielded from getting too hot.
It doesn't need another firewall.My fridge does not need Wi-Fi.
That is just not useful for me.
I want a place to chill my food.
Not chat via TCP/IP.do one for my dishwasher!
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My washing machine doesn’t need Wi-Fi.
It's a feature that I would regret.
I just need a way to wash my pants.
Not show them to the Internet.My oven doesn't need Wi-Fi.
I'd value that least of all.
It's already shielded from getting too hot.
It doesn't need another firewall.My fridge does not need Wi-Fi.
That is just not useful for me.
I want a place to chill my food.
Not chat via TCP/IP.@neil
@FirewallDragons A problem so pervasive there’s poetry about it now. -
do one for my dishwasher!
Your dishwasher doesn't need Wi-Fi.
It's there to clean off food and grease.
It'll probably mess up, say "Server not found",
And drop its DHCP lease. -
My washing machine doesn’t need Wi-Fi.
It's a feature that I would regret.
I just need a way to wash my pants.
Not show them to the Internet.My oven doesn't need Wi-Fi.
I'd value that least of all.
It's already shielded from getting too hot.
It doesn't need another firewall.My fridge does not need Wi-Fi.
That is just not useful for me.
I want a place to chill my food.
Not chat via TCP/IP. -
Your dishwasher doesn't need Wi-Fi.
It's there to clean off food and grease.
It'll probably mess up, say "Server not found",
And drop its DHCP lease.brilliant!
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My washing machine doesn’t need Wi-Fi.
It's a feature that I would regret.
I just need a way to wash my pants.
Not show them to the Internet.My oven doesn't need Wi-Fi.
I'd value that least of all.
It's already shielded from getting too hot.
It doesn't need another firewall.My fridge does not need Wi-Fi.
That is just not useful for me.
I want a place to chill my food.
Not chat via TCP/IP.@neil
I hereby nominate this effort of yours, Neil, for the Nobel Prize in Literature.
We usually think of this prize as being for prose authors, but numerous poets have won it in the past, and I, for one, think you deserve to be among their number. -
@neil
I hereby nominate this effort of yours, Neil, for the Nobel Prize in Literature.
We usually think of this prize as being for prose authors, but numerous poets have won it in the past, and I, for one, think you deserve to be among their number.Aw, thank you!
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My washing machine doesn’t need Wi-Fi.
It's a feature that I would regret.
I just need a way to wash my pants.
Not show them to the Internet.My oven doesn't need Wi-Fi.
I'd value that least of all.
It's already shielded from getting too hot.
It doesn't need another firewall.My fridge does not need Wi-Fi.
That is just not useful for me.
I want a place to chill my food.
Not chat via TCP/IP.@neil My bathroom weight scale promised all these fancy features, but when the product arrived, none of the features worked with the scales own display or processing. I had to download the app. The app refused to work unless I gave it access to my camera and my contacts! Is the app going to take a picture of me on the bathroom and contact my friends about it? I deleted the app, and to this day, the scales show up as a device waiting for a connection to anyone in my house.
