Skip to content
  • Categories
  • Recent
  • Tags
  • Popular
  • World
  • Users
  • Groups
Skins
  • Light
  • Brite
  • Cerulean
  • Cosmo
  • Flatly
  • Journal
  • Litera
  • Lumen
  • Lux
  • Materia
  • Minty
  • Morph
  • Pulse
  • Sandstone
  • Simplex
  • Sketchy
  • Spacelab
  • United
  • Yeti
  • Zephyr
  • Dark
  • Cyborg
  • Darkly
  • Quartz
  • Slate
  • Solar
  • Superhero
  • Vapor

  • Default (Cyborg)
  • No Skin
Collapse
Brand Logo

CIRCLE WITH A DOT

  1. Home
  2. Uncategorized
  3. My washing machine doesn’t need Wi-Fi

My washing machine doesn’t need Wi-Fi

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Uncategorized
52 Posts 36 Posters 0 Views
  • Oldest to Newest
  • Newest to Oldest
  • Most Votes
Reply
  • Reply as topic
Log in to reply
This topic has been deleted. Only users with topic management privileges can see it.
  • neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN This user is from outside of this forum
    neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN This user is from outside of this forum
    neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.uk
    wrote last edited by
    #1

    My washing machine doesn’t need Wi-Fi.
    It's a feature that I would regret.
    I just need a way to wash my pants.
    Not show them to the Internet.

    My oven doesn't need Wi-Fi.
    I'd value that least of all.
    It's already shielded from getting too hot.
    It doesn't need another firewall.

    My fridge does not need Wi-Fi.
    That is just not useful for me.
    I want a place to chill my food.
    Not chat via TCP/IP.

    neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN acsawdey@fosstodon.orgA naturemc@mastodon.onlineN sylviafysica@scholar.socialS accordingtowouter@mastodon.worldA 27 Replies Last reply
    3
    0
    • R relay@relay.publicsquare.global shared this topic
    • neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.uk

      My washing machine doesn’t need Wi-Fi.
      It's a feature that I would regret.
      I just need a way to wash my pants.
      Not show them to the Internet.

      My oven doesn't need Wi-Fi.
      I'd value that least of all.
      It's already shielded from getting too hot.
      It doesn't need another firewall.

      My fridge does not need Wi-Fi.
      That is just not useful for me.
      I want a place to chill my food.
      Not chat via TCP/IP.

      neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN This user is from outside of this forum
      neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN This user is from outside of this forum
      neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.uk
      wrote last edited by
      #2

      Inspired by @Aphrodite's toot https://chaos.social/@Aphrodite/116148402855469985.

      dragon@toast.dragon2611.netD 1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.uk

        Inspired by @Aphrodite's toot https://chaos.social/@Aphrodite/116148402855469985.

        dragon@toast.dragon2611.netD This user is from outside of this forum
        dragon@toast.dragon2611.netD This user is from outside of this forum
        dragon@toast.dragon2611.net
        wrote last edited by
        #3

        @neil @Aphrodite My washing machine does have bluetooth, i tried it once it's completely useless.

        Funniest thing was if it took longer than it had estimated the app would just change the time it said it had started 🤣

        I didn't want bluetooth but it was one of the few models available to be delivered when I wanted (the original one i'd picked wasn't in stock dispite showing otherwise) and also had the steam function I did want.

        g7vkq@mastodon.radioG 1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.uk

          My washing machine doesn’t need Wi-Fi.
          It's a feature that I would regret.
          I just need a way to wash my pants.
          Not show them to the Internet.

          My oven doesn't need Wi-Fi.
          I'd value that least of all.
          It's already shielded from getting too hot.
          It doesn't need another firewall.

          My fridge does not need Wi-Fi.
          That is just not useful for me.
          I want a place to chill my food.
          Not chat via TCP/IP.

          acsawdey@fosstodon.orgA This user is from outside of this forum
          acsawdey@fosstodon.orgA This user is from outside of this forum
          acsawdey@fosstodon.org
          wrote last edited by
          #4

          @neil I wouldn’t mind all these things having WiFi if it was along the lines of OBD-2 in a car. Just query the internal state of the device. But no, it’s used as a conduit for enshittification.

          lexinova@cyberplace.socialL 1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • dragon@toast.dragon2611.netD dragon@toast.dragon2611.net

            @neil @Aphrodite My washing machine does have bluetooth, i tried it once it's completely useless.

            Funniest thing was if it took longer than it had estimated the app would just change the time it said it had started 🤣

            I didn't want bluetooth but it was one of the few models available to be delivered when I wanted (the original one i'd picked wasn't in stock dispite showing otherwise) and also had the steam function I did want.

            g7vkq@mastodon.radioG This user is from outside of this forum
            g7vkq@mastodon.radioG This user is from outside of this forum
            g7vkq@mastodon.radio
            wrote last edited by
            #5

            @Dragon @neil @Aphrodite to be honest I have a pretty extensive smarthome setup…lots of intelligent devices controlled over WiFi. My dishwasher and washing machine also have WiFi…but never once have I used the WiFi nor have a desire to do so (talk to my wife and she says I’ve never used the machines either🫢). The timers on both devices work very well and supplant the need for any WiFi connection. I can’t see the use case…

            gilester45@twit.socialG 1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.uk

              My washing machine doesn’t need Wi-Fi.
              It's a feature that I would regret.
              I just need a way to wash my pants.
              Not show them to the Internet.

              My oven doesn't need Wi-Fi.
              I'd value that least of all.
              It's already shielded from getting too hot.
              It doesn't need another firewall.

              My fridge does not need Wi-Fi.
              That is just not useful for me.
              I want a place to chill my food.
              Not chat via TCP/IP.

              naturemc@mastodon.onlineN This user is from outside of this forum
              naturemc@mastodon.onlineN This user is from outside of this forum
              naturemc@mastodon.online
              wrote last edited by
              #6

              @neil oh yes. But now I see all these lost socks communicating with remaining friends via Wifi how to make a revolution and leave humans! 😅

              1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.uk

                My washing machine doesn’t need Wi-Fi.
                It's a feature that I would regret.
                I just need a way to wash my pants.
                Not show them to the Internet.

                My oven doesn't need Wi-Fi.
                I'd value that least of all.
                It's already shielded from getting too hot.
                It doesn't need another firewall.

                My fridge does not need Wi-Fi.
                That is just not useful for me.
                I want a place to chill my food.
                Not chat via TCP/IP.

                sylviafysica@scholar.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                sylviafysica@scholar.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                sylviafysica@scholar.social
                wrote last edited by
                #7

                @neil I wrote a short story related to this: How my wife got brain-hacked (again). It's the story of a man who finally bought an electric toothbrush for his wife’s birthday. Pdf: https://press.palni.org/ojs/index.php/academfic/article/view/808/737

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.uk

                  My washing machine doesn’t need Wi-Fi.
                  It's a feature that I would regret.
                  I just need a way to wash my pants.
                  Not show them to the Internet.

                  My oven doesn't need Wi-Fi.
                  I'd value that least of all.
                  It's already shielded from getting too hot.
                  It doesn't need another firewall.

                  My fridge does not need Wi-Fi.
                  That is just not useful for me.
                  I want a place to chill my food.
                  Not chat via TCP/IP.

                  accordingtowouter@mastodon.worldA This user is from outside of this forum
                  accordingtowouter@mastodon.worldA This user is from outside of this forum
                  accordingtowouter@mastodon.world
                  wrote last edited by
                  #8

                  @neil I also don't understand the urge to connect all devices to the internet. Even your toothbrush. I guess I'm just an analogue old man 🙂

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.uk

                    My washing machine doesn’t need Wi-Fi.
                    It's a feature that I would regret.
                    I just need a way to wash my pants.
                    Not show them to the Internet.

                    My oven doesn't need Wi-Fi.
                    I'd value that least of all.
                    It's already shielded from getting too hot.
                    It doesn't need another firewall.

                    My fridge does not need Wi-Fi.
                    That is just not useful for me.
                    I want a place to chill my food.
                    Not chat via TCP/IP.

                    jandi@mastodon.socialJ This user is from outside of this forum
                    jandi@mastodon.socialJ This user is from outside of this forum
                    jandi@mastodon.social
                    wrote last edited by
                    #9

                    @neil But Neil you're being heartless
                    We will just take a peep
                    (We and our twenty thousand spying partners
                    And yes we never sleep).

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.uk

                      My washing machine doesn’t need Wi-Fi.
                      It's a feature that I would regret.
                      I just need a way to wash my pants.
                      Not show them to the Internet.

                      My oven doesn't need Wi-Fi.
                      I'd value that least of all.
                      It's already shielded from getting too hot.
                      It doesn't need another firewall.

                      My fridge does not need Wi-Fi.
                      That is just not useful for me.
                      I want a place to chill my food.
                      Not chat via TCP/IP.

                      plukkiepanda@mastodon.nlP This user is from outside of this forum
                      plukkiepanda@mastodon.nlP This user is from outside of this forum
                      plukkiepanda@mastodon.nl
                      wrote last edited by
                      #10

                      @neil

                      It comes in handy when you leave the door open on your smartfridge. You'll get a notification. 🙂

                      (But I never understood why the fridge doesn't close the door itself, being so smart.. 🤔 )

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.uk

                        My washing machine doesn’t need Wi-Fi.
                        It's a feature that I would regret.
                        I just need a way to wash my pants.
                        Not show them to the Internet.

                        My oven doesn't need Wi-Fi.
                        I'd value that least of all.
                        It's already shielded from getting too hot.
                        It doesn't need another firewall.

                        My fridge does not need Wi-Fi.
                        That is just not useful for me.
                        I want a place to chill my food.
                        Not chat via TCP/IP.

                        rpsu@mas.toR This user is from outside of this forum
                        rpsu@mas.toR This user is from outside of this forum
                        rpsu@mas.to
                        wrote last edited by
                        #11

                        @neil Should these devices need WiFi I’d grant them a WiFi but block internet access 😄

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.uk

                          My washing machine doesn’t need Wi-Fi.
                          It's a feature that I would regret.
                          I just need a way to wash my pants.
                          Not show them to the Internet.

                          My oven doesn't need Wi-Fi.
                          I'd value that least of all.
                          It's already shielded from getting too hot.
                          It doesn't need another firewall.

                          My fridge does not need Wi-Fi.
                          That is just not useful for me.
                          I want a place to chill my food.
                          Not chat via TCP/IP.

                          gumnos@mastodon.bsd.cafeG This user is from outside of this forum
                          gumnos@mastodon.bsd.cafeG This user is from outside of this forum
                          gumnos@mastodon.bsd.cafe
                          wrote last edited by
                          #12

                          My microwave is clearly best.
                          It's never sent a SYN request.

                          It might cook food unevenly
                          but doesn't need DHCP.

                          No updates needed, no network jack,
                          for nation-states to come and hack.

                          If power blinks, the clock will flash,
                          but remote attacks can't make it crash.

                          When your app's site decides to close
                          I'll still enjoy my burritos.

                          @neil

                          mirabilos@toot.mirbsd.orgM 1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • R relay@relay.infosec.exchange shared this topic
                          • g7vkq@mastodon.radioG g7vkq@mastodon.radio

                            @Dragon @neil @Aphrodite to be honest I have a pretty extensive smarthome setup…lots of intelligent devices controlled over WiFi. My dishwasher and washing machine also have WiFi…but never once have I used the WiFi nor have a desire to do so (talk to my wife and she says I’ve never used the machines either🫢). The timers on both devices work very well and supplant the need for any WiFi connection. I can’t see the use case…

                            gilester45@twit.socialG This user is from outside of this forum
                            gilester45@twit.socialG This user is from outside of this forum
                            gilester45@twit.social
                            wrote last edited by
                            #13

                            @g7vkq @Dragon @neil @Aphrodite Same. I've got WiFi power monitoring plugs on all interesting devices, and generate an "I'm finished" alert where necessary by watching for when the power use drops. This is optimal, in my opinion.

                            I do not need not want apps or to manage updates on my domestic appliances.

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • R relay@relay.an.exchange shared this topic
                            • neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.uk

                              My washing machine doesn’t need Wi-Fi.
                              It's a feature that I would regret.
                              I just need a way to wash my pants.
                              Not show them to the Internet.

                              My oven doesn't need Wi-Fi.
                              I'd value that least of all.
                              It's already shielded from getting too hot.
                              It doesn't need another firewall.

                              My fridge does not need Wi-Fi.
                              That is just not useful for me.
                              I want a place to chill my food.
                              Not chat via TCP/IP.

                              catdad@ohai.socialC This user is from outside of this forum
                              catdad@ohai.socialC This user is from outside of this forum
                              catdad@ohai.social
                              wrote last edited by
                              #14

                              @neil Rage Against The (Aggressively Intrusive) Machine

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.uk

                                My washing machine doesn’t need Wi-Fi.
                                It's a feature that I would regret.
                                I just need a way to wash my pants.
                                Not show them to the Internet.

                                My oven doesn't need Wi-Fi.
                                I'd value that least of all.
                                It's already shielded from getting too hot.
                                It doesn't need another firewall.

                                My fridge does not need Wi-Fi.
                                That is just not useful for me.
                                I want a place to chill my food.
                                Not chat via TCP/IP.

                                saltywizard@beige.partyS This user is from outside of this forum
                                saltywizard@beige.partyS This user is from outside of this forum
                                saltywizard@beige.party
                                wrote last edited by
                                #15

                                @neil

                                do one for my dishwasher!

                                neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN 1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.uk

                                  My washing machine doesn’t need Wi-Fi.
                                  It's a feature that I would regret.
                                  I just need a way to wash my pants.
                                  Not show them to the Internet.

                                  My oven doesn't need Wi-Fi.
                                  I'd value that least of all.
                                  It's already shielded from getting too hot.
                                  It doesn't need another firewall.

                                  My fridge does not need Wi-Fi.
                                  That is just not useful for me.
                                  I want a place to chill my food.
                                  Not chat via TCP/IP.

                                  reay@beige.partyR This user is from outside of this forum
                                  reay@beige.partyR This user is from outside of this forum
                                  reay@beige.party
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #16

                                  @neil
                                  @FirewallDragons A problem so pervasive there’s poetry about it now. 🙂

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • saltywizard@beige.partyS saltywizard@beige.party

                                    @neil

                                    do one for my dishwasher!

                                    neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN This user is from outside of this forum
                                    neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN This user is from outside of this forum
                                    neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.uk
                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #17

                                    @saltywizard

                                    Your dishwasher doesn't need Wi-Fi.
                                    It's there to clean off food and grease.
                                    It'll probably mess up, say "Server not found",
                                    And drop its DHCP lease.

                                    saltywizard@beige.partyS 1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.uk

                                      My washing machine doesn’t need Wi-Fi.
                                      It's a feature that I would regret.
                                      I just need a way to wash my pants.
                                      Not show them to the Internet.

                                      My oven doesn't need Wi-Fi.
                                      I'd value that least of all.
                                      It's already shielded from getting too hot.
                                      It doesn't need another firewall.

                                      My fridge does not need Wi-Fi.
                                      That is just not useful for me.
                                      I want a place to chill my food.
                                      Not chat via TCP/IP.

                                      dynhafren@mastodon.worldD This user is from outside of this forum
                                      dynhafren@mastodon.worldD This user is from outside of this forum
                                      dynhafren@mastodon.world
                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #18

                                      @neil

                                      👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.uk

                                        @saltywizard

                                        Your dishwasher doesn't need Wi-Fi.
                                        It's there to clean off food and grease.
                                        It'll probably mess up, say "Server not found",
                                        And drop its DHCP lease.

                                        saltywizard@beige.partyS This user is from outside of this forum
                                        saltywizard@beige.partyS This user is from outside of this forum
                                        saltywizard@beige.party
                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #19

                                        @neil

                                        brilliant!

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.uk

                                          My washing machine doesn’t need Wi-Fi.
                                          It's a feature that I would regret.
                                          I just need a way to wash my pants.
                                          Not show them to the Internet.

                                          My oven doesn't need Wi-Fi.
                                          I'd value that least of all.
                                          It's already shielded from getting too hot.
                                          It doesn't need another firewall.

                                          My fridge does not need Wi-Fi.
                                          That is just not useful for me.
                                          I want a place to chill my food.
                                          Not chat via TCP/IP.

                                          guillotine_jones@beige.partyG This user is from outside of this forum
                                          guillotine_jones@beige.partyG This user is from outside of this forum
                                          guillotine_jones@beige.party
                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #20

                                          @neil
                                          I hereby nominate this effort of yours, Neil, for the Nobel Prize in Literature.
                                          We usually think of this prize as being for prose authors, but numerous poets have won it in the past, and I, for one, think you deserve to be among their number.

                                          neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN 1 Reply Last reply
                                          0
                                          Reply
                                          • Reply as topic
                                          Log in to reply
                                          • Oldest to Newest
                                          • Newest to Oldest
                                          • Most Votes


                                          • Login

                                          • Login or register to search.
                                          • First post
                                            Last post
                                          0
                                          • Categories
                                          • Recent
                                          • Tags
                                          • Popular
                                          • World
                                          • Users
                                          • Groups