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CIRCLE WITH A DOT

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  3. As an almost 70 year old man, I have some advice for young men.

As an almost 70 year old man, I have some advice for young men.

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  • screwturn@mastodon.socialS screwturn@mastodon.social

    8. Trying to BE an "alpha" is an exhausting, fruitless, time suck. People who actually are leaders are typically stressed, exhausted, and miserable, and find out that their actual power is very narrow and always comes at a steep price. Rather just be a comfortable and useful "beta". In fact, be a fucking delta and use the spare time to be useful and do things YOU enjoy. Let other overzealous morons bash their lives apart on the crags of merciless fortune

    Rather learn to juggle, whistle, or cook

    slowenough@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
    slowenough@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
    slowenough@mastodon.social
    wrote last edited by
    #14

    @screwturn "People who actually are leaders are typically stressed, exhausted, and miserable, and find out that their actual power is very narrow and always comes at a steep price."

    In autocratic systems, yes.

    In healthy, leaderful groups, leaders care for themselves, better or at least know where they aren't & are working on it it 🤣. They get leadership includes being real about capacity (including their own), and try to adjust what they say and what they do so they match.

    And lead together.

    1 Reply Last reply
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    • screwturn@mastodon.socialS screwturn@mastodon.social

      11. On the whole, women have had a raw deal for the entire history of the species, and the reason you aren't getting as much physical attention or getting a great job or a nice house is not their fault. Be nice to women without expecting to be compensated for it. They have more than enough shit on their plate, so be understanding and helpful, and try not to get in the way or make things worse for them

      Make more women friends, you might be surpised at how nice that is

      Also, women aren't a prize

      snowyca@social.vivaldi.netS This user is from outside of this forum
      snowyca@social.vivaldi.netS This user is from outside of this forum
      snowyca@social.vivaldi.net
      wrote last edited by
      #15

      @screwturn

      I'm impressed with your thread. ... and thank you! 🫶

      1 Reply Last reply
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      • screwturn@mastodon.socialS screwturn@mastodon.social

        11. On the whole, women have had a raw deal for the entire history of the species, and the reason you aren't getting as much physical attention or getting a great job or a nice house is not their fault. Be nice to women without expecting to be compensated for it. They have more than enough shit on their plate, so be understanding and helpful, and try not to get in the way or make things worse for them

        Make more women friends, you might be surpised at how nice that is

        Also, women aren't a prize

        oldguycrusty@mastodon.worldO This user is from outside of this forum
        oldguycrusty@mastodon.worldO This user is from outside of this forum
        oldguycrusty@mastodon.world
        wrote last edited by
        #16

        @screwturn

        I am an old guy too, but I think I am going to download this thread - print it out in 100pt fonts, and put it up on my walls..

        The condensed wisdom of the universe, right here. Thank you

        1 Reply Last reply
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        • screwturn@mastodon.socialS screwturn@mastodon.social

          As an almost 70 year old man, I have some advice for young men.

          Please boost this if you think it will help

          1. Your voice doesn't need to be heard. In fact, realizing that you don’t HAVE to have an opinion on everything and voice opinions or ideas in meetings or social gatherings, is amazingly liberating. You can actually just shut up, and relieve yourself of all that effort and stress. Let Bob utter his embarrassingly dumb idea, let Shirley have a say. You can just let it be for the most part

          3dogcouch@mas.to3 This user is from outside of this forum
          3dogcouch@mas.to3 This user is from outside of this forum
          3dogcouch@mas.to
          wrote last edited by
          #17

          @screwturn this is pretty great

          1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • screwturn@mastodon.socialS screwturn@mastodon.social

            11. On the whole, women have had a raw deal for the entire history of the species, and the reason you aren't getting as much physical attention or getting a great job or a nice house is not their fault. Be nice to women without expecting to be compensated for it. They have more than enough shit on their plate, so be understanding and helpful, and try not to get in the way or make things worse for them

            Make more women friends, you might be surpised at how nice that is

            Also, women aren't a prize

            cstamp@mastodon.socialC This user is from outside of this forum
            cstamp@mastodon.socialC This user is from outside of this forum
            cstamp@mastodon.social
            wrote last edited by
            #18

            @screwturn Modern world. Archeology has been showing that women were warriors, etc.

            screwturn@mastodon.socialS 1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • screwturn@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
              screwturn@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
              screwturn@mastodon.social
              wrote last edited by
              #19

              @LevZadov

              Oh fuck off "Lev"
              Go chew a brick or make your own thread

              "Grave goods", for fuck's sake

              1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • screwturn@mastodon.socialS screwturn@mastodon.social

                As an almost 70 year old man, I have some advice for young men.

                Please boost this if you think it will help

                1. Your voice doesn't need to be heard. In fact, realizing that you don’t HAVE to have an opinion on everything and voice opinions or ideas in meetings or social gatherings, is amazingly liberating. You can actually just shut up, and relieve yourself of all that effort and stress. Let Bob utter his embarrassingly dumb idea, let Shirley have a say. You can just let it be for the most part

                greem@cyberplace.socialG This user is from outside of this forum
                greem@cyberplace.socialG This user is from outside of this forum
                greem@cyberplace.social
                wrote last edited by
                #20

                @screwturn Amen, brother.

                Freedom of speech is not the same thing as demanding to be heard, and more people (young or old) should realise that.

                1 Reply Last reply
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                • screwturn@mastodon.socialS screwturn@mastodon.social

                  4. Most "Heroes" are just selfish and insecure arseholes. Write down 10 guys who are supposeldly big heroes, and then actually research them. Eight of them will turn out to be total shitheads - greedy, selfish, and pompous fucknuts, and also mostly sex pests

                  Ergo. Stop looking for heroes, and immediately be suspicious of anyone who claims to be or who other people say is a big hero. This counts for almost exactly 100% of online influencers. They are 100% flogging you scams and grifts and lying

                  decaturnature@theatl.socialD This user is from outside of this forum
                  decaturnature@theatl.socialD This user is from outside of this forum
                  decaturnature@theatl.social
                  wrote last edited by
                  #21

                  @screwturn along those lines, most kings and emperors were miserable fools whose compulsive power seeking led to constant paranoia and violence, even towards their their immediate family (and regularly towards cousins).

                  1 Reply Last reply
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                  • screwturn@mastodon.socialS screwturn@mastodon.social

                    11. On the whole, women have had a raw deal for the entire history of the species, and the reason you aren't getting as much physical attention or getting a great job or a nice house is not their fault. Be nice to women without expecting to be compensated for it. They have more than enough shit on their plate, so be understanding and helpful, and try not to get in the way or make things worse for them

                    Make more women friends, you might be surpised at how nice that is

                    Also, women aren't a prize

                    3dbill@mstdn.ca3 This user is from outside of this forum
                    3dbill@mstdn.ca3 This user is from outside of this forum
                    3dbill@mstdn.ca
                    wrote last edited by
                    #22

                    @screwturn can't agree with you about sex, it's been one of the best things about my life, but everything else, yeah.

                    olliestudio45@theforkiverse.comO 1 Reply Last reply
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                    • screwturn@mastodon.socialS screwturn@mastodon.social

                      As an almost 70 year old man, I have some advice for young men.

                      Please boost this if you think it will help

                      1. Your voice doesn't need to be heard. In fact, realizing that you don’t HAVE to have an opinion on everything and voice opinions or ideas in meetings or social gatherings, is amazingly liberating. You can actually just shut up, and relieve yourself of all that effort and stress. Let Bob utter his embarrassingly dumb idea, let Shirley have a say. You can just let it be for the most part

                      jonberger@sfba.socialJ This user is from outside of this forum
                      jonberger@sfba.socialJ This user is from outside of this forum
                      jonberger@sfba.social
                      wrote last edited by
                      #23

                      @screwturn This really put point #1 in perspective for me.

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                      0
                      • ggggbbybby@hachyderm.ioG This user is from outside of this forum
                        ggggbbybby@hachyderm.ioG This user is from outside of this forum
                        ggggbbybby@hachyderm.io
                        wrote last edited by
                        #24

                        @LevZadov @screwturn this is an absurd thing to say. women have not, historically, have had control over their own reproductive capacity. that's a Very New Thing in terms of human society. Being pregnant for most of your life, not necessarily by choice, is a pretty fucking raw deal.

                        screwturn@mastodon.socialS 1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • screwturn@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                          screwturn@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                          screwturn@mastodon.social
                          wrote last edited by
                          #25

                          @LevZadov
                          Again, "Lev" fuck off

                          I don't need nor desire your "forgiveness".
                          I refer you back to point 1.

                          Your voice, which now exceeds several foolscap pages of red-herring-do, amply illustrates why some men.., nay, men in general, should rather shut the fuck up and not offer their embarrassingly off-key opinions.

                          Here is my gift to you, "Lev": shut up more

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • cstamp@mastodon.socialC cstamp@mastodon.social

                            @screwturn Modern world. Archeology has been showing that women were warriors, etc.

                            screwturn@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                            screwturn@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                            screwturn@mastodon.social
                            wrote last edited by
                            #26

                            @CStamp very few, very seldom, and vastly counterweighted by millenia of servitude and mistreatment

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • screwturn@mastodon.socialS screwturn@mastodon.social

                              As an almost 70 year old man, I have some advice for young men.

                              Please boost this if you think it will help

                              1. Your voice doesn't need to be heard. In fact, realizing that you don’t HAVE to have an opinion on everything and voice opinions or ideas in meetings or social gatherings, is amazingly liberating. You can actually just shut up, and relieve yourself of all that effort and stress. Let Bob utter his embarrassingly dumb idea, let Shirley have a say. You can just let it be for the most part

                              lupus_blackfur@mastodon.worldL This user is from outside of this forum
                              lupus_blackfur@mastodon.worldL This user is from outside of this forum
                              lupus_blackfur@mastodon.world
                              wrote last edited by
                              #27

                              @screwturn
                              @DaveMWilburn

                              As my Dad used to say:

                              "Better to keep your mouth shut and let folks think you might be an idiot than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."

                              😁

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • screwturn@mastodon.socialS screwturn@mastodon.social

                                As an almost 70 year old man, I have some advice for young men.

                                Please boost this if you think it will help

                                1. Your voice doesn't need to be heard. In fact, realizing that you don’t HAVE to have an opinion on everything and voice opinions or ideas in meetings or social gatherings, is amazingly liberating. You can actually just shut up, and relieve yourself of all that effort and stress. Let Bob utter his embarrassingly dumb idea, let Shirley have a say. You can just let it be for the most part

                                mynameistillian@plush.cityM This user is from outside of this forum
                                mynameistillian@plush.cityM This user is from outside of this forum
                                mynameistillian@plush.city
                                wrote last edited by
                                #28

                                @screwturn 22-year old Gen Zer (somewhat a man? i am genderfluid) here. much thanks. lots of good stuff.

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • screwturn@mastodon.socialS screwturn@mastodon.social

                                  7. The "Alpha Male" schtick is a leaky bag of bullshit on stilts. There is no science behind this, it doesn't survive a scrutiny, and the guys who claim the title are always insecure, overcompensating, grifters. Allways.

                                  It is also obviously bullshit. You can't possibly be top dog in everything, and the more you are top dog in anything, the narrower that specialty will be, and the shorter the time before someone better comes along. All that trumpeting actually tells you he's an insecure numpty

                                  mike@thecanadian.socialM This user is from outside of this forum
                                  mike@thecanadian.socialM This user is from outside of this forum
                                  mike@thecanadian.social
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #29

                                  @screwturn Most real leaders don't say a goddam thing. They act a certain way and you instinctively follow. While the alpha male posers are barking, real leaders are getting stuff done usually by lifting people up around them.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • ggggbbybby@hachyderm.ioG ggggbbybby@hachyderm.io

                                    @LevZadov @screwturn this is an absurd thing to say. women have not, historically, have had control over their own reproductive capacity. that's a Very New Thing in terms of human society. Being pregnant for most of your life, not necessarily by choice, is a pretty fucking raw deal.

                                    screwturn@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                                    screwturn@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                                    screwturn@mastodon.social
                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #30

                                    @ggggbbybby
                                    "Lev" wants to take a handfull of highly contested grave remains as evidence that in 300,000 years of modern humans, that FOR THE MOST PART, women have not generally had the suckier part of it.

                                    @LevZadov

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • 3dbill@mstdn.ca3 3dbill@mstdn.ca

                                      @screwturn can't agree with you about sex, it's been one of the best things about my life, but everything else, yeah.

                                      olliestudio45@theforkiverse.comO This user is from outside of this forum
                                      olliestudio45@theforkiverse.comO This user is from outside of this forum
                                      olliestudio45@theforkiverse.com
                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #31

                                      @3DBill @screwturn

                                      + 1 and same also for 'playing with oneself'

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • screwturn@mastodon.socialS screwturn@mastodon.social

                                        As an almost 70 year old man, I have some advice for young men.

                                        Please boost this if you think it will help

                                        1. Your voice doesn't need to be heard. In fact, realizing that you don’t HAVE to have an opinion on everything and voice opinions or ideas in meetings or social gatherings, is amazingly liberating. You can actually just shut up, and relieve yourself of all that effort and stress. Let Bob utter his embarrassingly dumb idea, let Shirley have a say. You can just let it be for the most part

                                        alisonw@fedimon.ukA This user is from outside of this forum
                                        alisonw@fedimon.ukA This user is from outside of this forum
                                        alisonw@fedimon.uk
                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #32

                                        @screwturn
                                        Nice thread. Hope they listen.
                                        (69yo woman, 70 next Monday. WTF!)

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • screwturn@mastodon.socialS screwturn@mastodon.social

                                          11. On the whole, women have had a raw deal for the entire history of the species, and the reason you aren't getting as much physical attention or getting a great job or a nice house is not their fault. Be nice to women without expecting to be compensated for it. They have more than enough shit on their plate, so be understanding and helpful, and try not to get in the way or make things worse for them

                                          Make more women friends, you might be surpised at how nice that is

                                          Also, women aren't a prize

                                          screwturn@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                                          screwturn@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                                          screwturn@mastodon.social
                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #33

                                          12. Consider a great many patently foolish and ludicrously risky things. I'm not saying DO them, because that would mostly be foolish, but CONSIDER them. Consider joining the SAS, being a supermodel, driving a formula-1 racing car, competing in the Isle of Mann TT, being a Michelin Star chef. Think through what it would take, would be like, and what it would likely cost in blood and money

                                          Explore them, deeply feel them, and for the most part, thank fuck you won't ever do them. Learn about you

                                          screwturn@mastodon.socialS lizette603_23@mastodon.socialL 2 Replies Last reply
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