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CIRCLE WITH A DOT

  1. Home
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  3. As an almost 70 year old man, I have some advice for young men.

As an almost 70 year old man, I have some advice for young men.

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  • screwturn@mastodon.socialS screwturn@mastodon.social

    9. There are no exclusively "masculine" jobs or pastimes, and you will enjoy life far more if you give that whole story the middle finger.

    If you like Barbie Dolls, cooking, or knitting, fucking go for it. Don't let some narrow-minded and insecure scold put you off your thing. Do your thing, mix with others who do thing, and help the less skilled do thing. If you sucked at thing but enjoyed it, master small slices of it, and show others how you did that and how you fuck up. You can be that guy

    screwturn@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
    screwturn@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
    screwturn@mastodon.social
    wrote last edited by
    #11

    10. You don’t have to "leave a mark", "go down in history", and you sure as shit won't "put a ding in the universe". Just be a person, live your life being as helpful as you can, and enjoy what you can of the journey. 100% of those remembered by history weren't much like the history, and everyone is much more Ozymandius than King Arthur

    The universe is one fucking huge and weird place, and a million Steve Jobs holding hands in a chain would neither be noticeable to the universe, nor interesting

    screwturn@mastodon.socialS 1 Reply Last reply
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    • screwturn@mastodon.socialS screwturn@mastodon.social

      10. You don’t have to "leave a mark", "go down in history", and you sure as shit won't "put a ding in the universe". Just be a person, live your life being as helpful as you can, and enjoy what you can of the journey. 100% of those remembered by history weren't much like the history, and everyone is much more Ozymandius than King Arthur

      The universe is one fucking huge and weird place, and a million Steve Jobs holding hands in a chain would neither be noticeable to the universe, nor interesting

      screwturn@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
      screwturn@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
      screwturn@mastodon.social
      wrote last edited by
      #12

      11. On the whole, women have had a raw deal for the entire history of the species, and the reason you aren't getting as much physical attention or getting a great job or a nice house is not their fault. Be nice to women without expecting to be compensated for it. They have more than enough shit on their plate, so be understanding and helpful, and try not to get in the way or make things worse for them

      Make more women friends, you might be surpised at how nice that is

      Also, women aren't a prize

      snowyca@social.vivaldi.netS oldguycrusty@mastodon.worldO cstamp@mastodon.socialC 3dbill@mstdn.ca3 screwturn@mastodon.socialS 5 Replies Last reply
      0
      • screwturn@mastodon.socialS screwturn@mastodon.social

        As an almost 70 year old man, I have some advice for young men.

        Please boost this if you think it will help

        1. Your voice doesn't need to be heard. In fact, realizing that you don’t HAVE to have an opinion on everything and voice opinions or ideas in meetings or social gatherings, is amazingly liberating. You can actually just shut up, and relieve yourself of all that effort and stress. Let Bob utter his embarrassingly dumb idea, let Shirley have a say. You can just let it be for the most part

        jackwilliambell@rustedneuron.comJ This user is from outside of this forum
        jackwilliambell@rustedneuron.comJ This user is from outside of this forum
        jackwilliambell@rustedneuron.com
        wrote last edited by
        #13

        @screwturn

        Also almost 70. Also learned the same lessons (mostly the hard way).

        So I'm just dropping this to say, "Listen to this guy." I don't know him, but he's talking sense.

        1 Reply Last reply
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        • screwturn@mastodon.socialS screwturn@mastodon.social

          8. Trying to BE an "alpha" is an exhausting, fruitless, time suck. People who actually are leaders are typically stressed, exhausted, and miserable, and find out that their actual power is very narrow and always comes at a steep price. Rather just be a comfortable and useful "beta". In fact, be a fucking delta and use the spare time to be useful and do things YOU enjoy. Let other overzealous morons bash their lives apart on the crags of merciless fortune

          Rather learn to juggle, whistle, or cook

          slowenough@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
          slowenough@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
          slowenough@mastodon.social
          wrote last edited by
          #14

          @screwturn "People who actually are leaders are typically stressed, exhausted, and miserable, and find out that their actual power is very narrow and always comes at a steep price."

          In autocratic systems, yes.

          In healthy, leaderful groups, leaders care for themselves, better or at least know where they aren't & are working on it it 🤣. They get leadership includes being real about capacity (including their own), and try to adjust what they say and what they do so they match.

          And lead together.

          1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • screwturn@mastodon.socialS screwturn@mastodon.social

            11. On the whole, women have had a raw deal for the entire history of the species, and the reason you aren't getting as much physical attention or getting a great job or a nice house is not their fault. Be nice to women without expecting to be compensated for it. They have more than enough shit on their plate, so be understanding and helpful, and try not to get in the way or make things worse for them

            Make more women friends, you might be surpised at how nice that is

            Also, women aren't a prize

            snowyca@social.vivaldi.netS This user is from outside of this forum
            snowyca@social.vivaldi.netS This user is from outside of this forum
            snowyca@social.vivaldi.net
            wrote last edited by
            #15

            @screwturn

            I'm impressed with your thread. ... and thank you! 🫶

            1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • screwturn@mastodon.socialS screwturn@mastodon.social

              11. On the whole, women have had a raw deal for the entire history of the species, and the reason you aren't getting as much physical attention or getting a great job or a nice house is not their fault. Be nice to women without expecting to be compensated for it. They have more than enough shit on their plate, so be understanding and helpful, and try not to get in the way or make things worse for them

              Make more women friends, you might be surpised at how nice that is

              Also, women aren't a prize

              oldguycrusty@mastodon.worldO This user is from outside of this forum
              oldguycrusty@mastodon.worldO This user is from outside of this forum
              oldguycrusty@mastodon.world
              wrote last edited by
              #16

              @screwturn

              I am an old guy too, but I think I am going to download this thread - print it out in 100pt fonts, and put it up on my walls..

              The condensed wisdom of the universe, right here. Thank you

              1 Reply Last reply
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              • screwturn@mastodon.socialS screwturn@mastodon.social

                As an almost 70 year old man, I have some advice for young men.

                Please boost this if you think it will help

                1. Your voice doesn't need to be heard. In fact, realizing that you don’t HAVE to have an opinion on everything and voice opinions or ideas in meetings or social gatherings, is amazingly liberating. You can actually just shut up, and relieve yourself of all that effort and stress. Let Bob utter his embarrassingly dumb idea, let Shirley have a say. You can just let it be for the most part

                3dogcouch@mas.to3 This user is from outside of this forum
                3dogcouch@mas.to3 This user is from outside of this forum
                3dogcouch@mas.to
                wrote last edited by
                #17

                @screwturn this is pretty great

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • screwturn@mastodon.socialS screwturn@mastodon.social

                  11. On the whole, women have had a raw deal for the entire history of the species, and the reason you aren't getting as much physical attention or getting a great job or a nice house is not their fault. Be nice to women without expecting to be compensated for it. They have more than enough shit on their plate, so be understanding and helpful, and try not to get in the way or make things worse for them

                  Make more women friends, you might be surpised at how nice that is

                  Also, women aren't a prize

                  cstamp@mastodon.socialC This user is from outside of this forum
                  cstamp@mastodon.socialC This user is from outside of this forum
                  cstamp@mastodon.social
                  wrote last edited by
                  #18

                  @screwturn Modern world. Archeology has been showing that women were warriors, etc.

                  screwturn@mastodon.socialS 1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • screwturn@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                    screwturn@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                    screwturn@mastodon.social
                    wrote last edited by
                    #19

                    @LevZadov

                    Oh fuck off "Lev"
                    Go chew a brick or make your own thread

                    "Grave goods", for fuck's sake

                    1 Reply Last reply
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                    • screwturn@mastodon.socialS screwturn@mastodon.social

                      As an almost 70 year old man, I have some advice for young men.

                      Please boost this if you think it will help

                      1. Your voice doesn't need to be heard. In fact, realizing that you don’t HAVE to have an opinion on everything and voice opinions or ideas in meetings or social gatherings, is amazingly liberating. You can actually just shut up, and relieve yourself of all that effort and stress. Let Bob utter his embarrassingly dumb idea, let Shirley have a say. You can just let it be for the most part

                      greem@cyberplace.socialG This user is from outside of this forum
                      greem@cyberplace.socialG This user is from outside of this forum
                      greem@cyberplace.social
                      wrote last edited by
                      #20

                      @screwturn Amen, brother.

                      Freedom of speech is not the same thing as demanding to be heard, and more people (young or old) should realise that.

                      1 Reply Last reply
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                      • screwturn@mastodon.socialS screwturn@mastodon.social

                        4. Most "Heroes" are just selfish and insecure arseholes. Write down 10 guys who are supposeldly big heroes, and then actually research them. Eight of them will turn out to be total shitheads - greedy, selfish, and pompous fucknuts, and also mostly sex pests

                        Ergo. Stop looking for heroes, and immediately be suspicious of anyone who claims to be or who other people say is a big hero. This counts for almost exactly 100% of online influencers. They are 100% flogging you scams and grifts and lying

                        decaturnature@theatl.socialD This user is from outside of this forum
                        decaturnature@theatl.socialD This user is from outside of this forum
                        decaturnature@theatl.social
                        wrote last edited by
                        #21

                        @screwturn along those lines, most kings and emperors were miserable fools whose compulsive power seeking led to constant paranoia and violence, even towards their their immediate family (and regularly towards cousins).

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • screwturn@mastodon.socialS screwturn@mastodon.social

                          11. On the whole, women have had a raw deal for the entire history of the species, and the reason you aren't getting as much physical attention or getting a great job or a nice house is not their fault. Be nice to women without expecting to be compensated for it. They have more than enough shit on their plate, so be understanding and helpful, and try not to get in the way or make things worse for them

                          Make more women friends, you might be surpised at how nice that is

                          Also, women aren't a prize

                          3dbill@mstdn.ca3 This user is from outside of this forum
                          3dbill@mstdn.ca3 This user is from outside of this forum
                          3dbill@mstdn.ca
                          wrote last edited by
                          #22

                          @screwturn can't agree with you about sex, it's been one of the best things about my life, but everything else, yeah.

                          olliestudio45@theforkiverse.comO 1 Reply Last reply
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                          • screwturn@mastodon.socialS screwturn@mastodon.social

                            As an almost 70 year old man, I have some advice for young men.

                            Please boost this if you think it will help

                            1. Your voice doesn't need to be heard. In fact, realizing that you don’t HAVE to have an opinion on everything and voice opinions or ideas in meetings or social gatherings, is amazingly liberating. You can actually just shut up, and relieve yourself of all that effort and stress. Let Bob utter his embarrassingly dumb idea, let Shirley have a say. You can just let it be for the most part

                            jonberger@sfba.socialJ This user is from outside of this forum
                            jonberger@sfba.socialJ This user is from outside of this forum
                            jonberger@sfba.social
                            wrote last edited by
                            #23

                            @screwturn This really put point #1 in perspective for me.

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                            • ggggbbybby@hachyderm.ioG This user is from outside of this forum
                              ggggbbybby@hachyderm.ioG This user is from outside of this forum
                              ggggbbybby@hachyderm.io
                              wrote last edited by
                              #24

                              @LevZadov @screwturn this is an absurd thing to say. women have not, historically, have had control over their own reproductive capacity. that's a Very New Thing in terms of human society. Being pregnant for most of your life, not necessarily by choice, is a pretty fucking raw deal.

                              screwturn@mastodon.socialS 1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • screwturn@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                                screwturn@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                                screwturn@mastodon.social
                                wrote last edited by
                                #25

                                @LevZadov
                                Again, "Lev" fuck off

                                I don't need nor desire your "forgiveness".
                                I refer you back to point 1.

                                Your voice, which now exceeds several foolscap pages of red-herring-do, amply illustrates why some men.., nay, men in general, should rather shut the fuck up and not offer their embarrassingly off-key opinions.

                                Here is my gift to you, "Lev": shut up more

                                1 Reply Last reply
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                                • cstamp@mastodon.socialC cstamp@mastodon.social

                                  @screwturn Modern world. Archeology has been showing that women were warriors, etc.

                                  screwturn@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                                  screwturn@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                                  screwturn@mastodon.social
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #26

                                  @CStamp very few, very seldom, and vastly counterweighted by millenia of servitude and mistreatment

                                  1 Reply Last reply
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                                  • screwturn@mastodon.socialS screwturn@mastodon.social

                                    As an almost 70 year old man, I have some advice for young men.

                                    Please boost this if you think it will help

                                    1. Your voice doesn't need to be heard. In fact, realizing that you don’t HAVE to have an opinion on everything and voice opinions or ideas in meetings or social gatherings, is amazingly liberating. You can actually just shut up, and relieve yourself of all that effort and stress. Let Bob utter his embarrassingly dumb idea, let Shirley have a say. You can just let it be for the most part

                                    lupus_blackfur@mastodon.worldL This user is from outside of this forum
                                    lupus_blackfur@mastodon.worldL This user is from outside of this forum
                                    lupus_blackfur@mastodon.world
                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #27

                                    @screwturn
                                    @DaveMWilburn

                                    As my Dad used to say:

                                    "Better to keep your mouth shut and let folks think you might be an idiot than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."

                                    😁

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • screwturn@mastodon.socialS screwturn@mastodon.social

                                      As an almost 70 year old man, I have some advice for young men.

                                      Please boost this if you think it will help

                                      1. Your voice doesn't need to be heard. In fact, realizing that you don’t HAVE to have an opinion on everything and voice opinions or ideas in meetings or social gatherings, is amazingly liberating. You can actually just shut up, and relieve yourself of all that effort and stress. Let Bob utter his embarrassingly dumb idea, let Shirley have a say. You can just let it be for the most part

                                      mynameistillian@plush.cityM This user is from outside of this forum
                                      mynameistillian@plush.cityM This user is from outside of this forum
                                      mynameistillian@plush.city
                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #28

                                      @screwturn 22-year old Gen Zer (somewhat a man? i am genderfluid) here. much thanks. lots of good stuff.

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • screwturn@mastodon.socialS screwturn@mastodon.social

                                        7. The "Alpha Male" schtick is a leaky bag of bullshit on stilts. There is no science behind this, it doesn't survive a scrutiny, and the guys who claim the title are always insecure, overcompensating, grifters. Allways.

                                        It is also obviously bullshit. You can't possibly be top dog in everything, and the more you are top dog in anything, the narrower that specialty will be, and the shorter the time before someone better comes along. All that trumpeting actually tells you he's an insecure numpty

                                        mike@thecanadian.socialM This user is from outside of this forum
                                        mike@thecanadian.socialM This user is from outside of this forum
                                        mike@thecanadian.social
                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #29

                                        @screwturn Most real leaders don't say a goddam thing. They act a certain way and you instinctively follow. While the alpha male posers are barking, real leaders are getting stuff done usually by lifting people up around them.

                                        1 Reply Last reply
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                                        • ggggbbybby@hachyderm.ioG ggggbbybby@hachyderm.io

                                          @LevZadov @screwturn this is an absurd thing to say. women have not, historically, have had control over their own reproductive capacity. that's a Very New Thing in terms of human society. Being pregnant for most of your life, not necessarily by choice, is a pretty fucking raw deal.

                                          screwturn@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                                          screwturn@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                                          screwturn@mastodon.social
                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #30

                                          @ggggbbybby
                                          "Lev" wants to take a handfull of highly contested grave remains as evidence that in 300,000 years of modern humans, that FOR THE MOST PART, women have not generally had the suckier part of it.

                                          @LevZadov

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