As an almost 70 year old man, I have some advice for young men.
-
8. Trying to BE an "alpha" is an exhausting, fruitless, time suck. People who actually are leaders are typically stressed, exhausted, and miserable, and find out that their actual power is very narrow and always comes at a steep price. Rather just be a comfortable and useful "beta". In fact, be a fucking delta and use the spare time to be useful and do things YOU enjoy. Let other overzealous morons bash their lives apart on the crags of merciless fortune
Rather learn to juggle, whistle, or cook
9. There are no exclusively "masculine" jobs or pastimes, and you will enjoy life far more if you give that whole story the middle finger.
If you like Barbie Dolls, cooking, or knitting, fucking go for it. Don't let some narrow-minded and insecure scold put you off your thing. Do your thing, mix with others who do thing, and help the less skilled do thing. If you sucked at thing but enjoyed it, master small slices of it, and show others how you did that and how you fuck up. You can be that guy
-
9. There are no exclusively "masculine" jobs or pastimes, and you will enjoy life far more if you give that whole story the middle finger.
If you like Barbie Dolls, cooking, or knitting, fucking go for it. Don't let some narrow-minded and insecure scold put you off your thing. Do your thing, mix with others who do thing, and help the less skilled do thing. If you sucked at thing but enjoyed it, master small slices of it, and show others how you did that and how you fuck up. You can be that guy
10. You don’t have to "leave a mark", "go down in history", and you sure as shit won't "put a ding in the universe". Just be a person, live your life being as helpful as you can, and enjoy what you can of the journey. 100% of those remembered by history weren't much like the history, and everyone is much more Ozymandius than King Arthur
The universe is one fucking huge and weird place, and a million Steve Jobs holding hands in a chain would neither be noticeable to the universe, nor interesting
-
10. You don’t have to "leave a mark", "go down in history", and you sure as shit won't "put a ding in the universe". Just be a person, live your life being as helpful as you can, and enjoy what you can of the journey. 100% of those remembered by history weren't much like the history, and everyone is much more Ozymandius than King Arthur
The universe is one fucking huge and weird place, and a million Steve Jobs holding hands in a chain would neither be noticeable to the universe, nor interesting
11. On the whole, women have had a raw deal for the entire history of the species, and the reason you aren't getting as much physical attention or getting a great job or a nice house is not their fault. Be nice to women without expecting to be compensated for it. They have more than enough shit on their plate, so be understanding and helpful, and try not to get in the way or make things worse for them
Make more women friends, you might be surpised at how nice that is
Also, women aren't a prize
-
As an almost 70 year old man, I have some advice for young men.
Please boost this if you think it will help
1. Your voice doesn't need to be heard. In fact, realizing that you don’t HAVE to have an opinion on everything and voice opinions or ideas in meetings or social gatherings, is amazingly liberating. You can actually just shut up, and relieve yourself of all that effort and stress. Let Bob utter his embarrassingly dumb idea, let Shirley have a say. You can just let it be for the most part
Also almost 70. Also learned the same lessons (mostly the hard way).
So I'm just dropping this to say, "Listen to this guy." I don't know him, but he's talking sense.
-
8. Trying to BE an "alpha" is an exhausting, fruitless, time suck. People who actually are leaders are typically stressed, exhausted, and miserable, and find out that their actual power is very narrow and always comes at a steep price. Rather just be a comfortable and useful "beta". In fact, be a fucking delta and use the spare time to be useful and do things YOU enjoy. Let other overzealous morons bash their lives apart on the crags of merciless fortune
Rather learn to juggle, whistle, or cook
@screwturn "People who actually are leaders are typically stressed, exhausted, and miserable, and find out that their actual power is very narrow and always comes at a steep price."
In autocratic systems, yes.
In healthy, leaderful groups, leaders care for themselves, better or at least know where they aren't & are working on it it
. They get leadership includes being real about capacity (including their own), and try to adjust what they say and what they do so they match.And lead together.
-
11. On the whole, women have had a raw deal for the entire history of the species, and the reason you aren't getting as much physical attention or getting a great job or a nice house is not their fault. Be nice to women without expecting to be compensated for it. They have more than enough shit on their plate, so be understanding and helpful, and try not to get in the way or make things worse for them
Make more women friends, you might be surpised at how nice that is
Also, women aren't a prize
I'm impressed with your thread. ... and thank you! 🫶
-
11. On the whole, women have had a raw deal for the entire history of the species, and the reason you aren't getting as much physical attention or getting a great job or a nice house is not their fault. Be nice to women without expecting to be compensated for it. They have more than enough shit on their plate, so be understanding and helpful, and try not to get in the way or make things worse for them
Make more women friends, you might be surpised at how nice that is
Also, women aren't a prize
I am an old guy too, but I think I am going to download this thread - print it out in 100pt fonts, and put it up on my walls..
The condensed wisdom of the universe, right here. Thank you
-
As an almost 70 year old man, I have some advice for young men.
Please boost this if you think it will help
1. Your voice doesn't need to be heard. In fact, realizing that you don’t HAVE to have an opinion on everything and voice opinions or ideas in meetings or social gatherings, is amazingly liberating. You can actually just shut up, and relieve yourself of all that effort and stress. Let Bob utter his embarrassingly dumb idea, let Shirley have a say. You can just let it be for the most part
@screwturn this is pretty great
-
11. On the whole, women have had a raw deal for the entire history of the species, and the reason you aren't getting as much physical attention or getting a great job or a nice house is not their fault. Be nice to women without expecting to be compensated for it. They have more than enough shit on their plate, so be understanding and helpful, and try not to get in the way or make things worse for them
Make more women friends, you might be surpised at how nice that is
Also, women aren't a prize
@screwturn Modern world. Archeology has been showing that women were warriors, etc.
-
-
As an almost 70 year old man, I have some advice for young men.
Please boost this if you think it will help
1. Your voice doesn't need to be heard. In fact, realizing that you don’t HAVE to have an opinion on everything and voice opinions or ideas in meetings or social gatherings, is amazingly liberating. You can actually just shut up, and relieve yourself of all that effort and stress. Let Bob utter his embarrassingly dumb idea, let Shirley have a say. You can just let it be for the most part
@screwturn Amen, brother.
Freedom of speech is not the same thing as demanding to be heard, and more people (young or old) should realise that.
-
4. Most "Heroes" are just selfish and insecure arseholes. Write down 10 guys who are supposeldly big heroes, and then actually research them. Eight of them will turn out to be total shitheads - greedy, selfish, and pompous fucknuts, and also mostly sex pests
Ergo. Stop looking for heroes, and immediately be suspicious of anyone who claims to be or who other people say is a big hero. This counts for almost exactly 100% of online influencers. They are 100% flogging you scams and grifts and lying
@screwturn along those lines, most kings and emperors were miserable fools whose compulsive power seeking led to constant paranoia and violence, even towards their their immediate family (and regularly towards cousins).
-
11. On the whole, women have had a raw deal for the entire history of the species, and the reason you aren't getting as much physical attention or getting a great job or a nice house is not their fault. Be nice to women without expecting to be compensated for it. They have more than enough shit on their plate, so be understanding and helpful, and try not to get in the way or make things worse for them
Make more women friends, you might be surpised at how nice that is
Also, women aren't a prize
@screwturn can't agree with you about sex, it's been one of the best things about my life, but everything else, yeah.
-
As an almost 70 year old man, I have some advice for young men.
Please boost this if you think it will help
1. Your voice doesn't need to be heard. In fact, realizing that you don’t HAVE to have an opinion on everything and voice opinions or ideas in meetings or social gatherings, is amazingly liberating. You can actually just shut up, and relieve yourself of all that effort and stress. Let Bob utter his embarrassingly dumb idea, let Shirley have a say. You can just let it be for the most part
@screwturn This really put point #1 in perspective for me.
-
@LevZadov @screwturn this is an absurd thing to say. women have not, historically, have had control over their own reproductive capacity. that's a Very New Thing in terms of human society. Being pregnant for most of your life, not necessarily by choice, is a pretty fucking raw deal.
-
@LevZadov
Again, "Lev" fuck offI don't need nor desire your "forgiveness".
I refer you back to point 1.Your voice, which now exceeds several foolscap pages of red-herring-do, amply illustrates why some men.., nay, men in general, should rather shut the fuck up and not offer their embarrassingly off-key opinions.
Here is my gift to you, "Lev": shut up more
-
@screwturn Modern world. Archeology has been showing that women were warriors, etc.
@CStamp very few, very seldom, and vastly counterweighted by millenia of servitude and mistreatment
-
As an almost 70 year old man, I have some advice for young men.
Please boost this if you think it will help
1. Your voice doesn't need to be heard. In fact, realizing that you don’t HAVE to have an opinion on everything and voice opinions or ideas in meetings or social gatherings, is amazingly liberating. You can actually just shut up, and relieve yourself of all that effort and stress. Let Bob utter his embarrassingly dumb idea, let Shirley have a say. You can just let it be for the most part
As my Dad used to say:
"Better to keep your mouth shut and let folks think you might be an idiot than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."
-
As an almost 70 year old man, I have some advice for young men.
Please boost this if you think it will help
1. Your voice doesn't need to be heard. In fact, realizing that you don’t HAVE to have an opinion on everything and voice opinions or ideas in meetings or social gatherings, is amazingly liberating. You can actually just shut up, and relieve yourself of all that effort and stress. Let Bob utter his embarrassingly dumb idea, let Shirley have a say. You can just let it be for the most part
@screwturn 22-year old Gen Zer (somewhat a man? i am genderfluid) here. much thanks. lots of good stuff.
-
7. The "Alpha Male" schtick is a leaky bag of bullshit on stilts. There is no science behind this, it doesn't survive a scrutiny, and the guys who claim the title are always insecure, overcompensating, grifters. Allways.
It is also obviously bullshit. You can't possibly be top dog in everything, and the more you are top dog in anything, the narrower that specialty will be, and the shorter the time before someone better comes along. All that trumpeting actually tells you he's an insecure numpty
@screwturn Most real leaders don't say a goddam thing. They act a certain way and you instinctively follow. While the alpha male posers are barking, real leaders are getting stuff done usually by lifting people up around them.
