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  3. Autistic people don’t just ‘fail to fit’ into social norms and into the social order.

Autistic people don’t just ‘fail to fit’ into social norms and into the social order.

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neurodivergentneurodiversityactuallyautistiautism
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  • katyelphinstone@mas.toK katyelphinstone@mas.to

    Autistic people don’t just ‘fail to fit’ into social norms and into the social order.

    It seems quite a lot of the time we actually challenge the social order - often even just by existing.

    #Autism #ActuallyAutistic #Neurodiversity #Neurodivergent

    coth@social.creatureofthehill.comC This user is from outside of this forum
    coth@social.creatureofthehill.comC This user is from outside of this forum
    coth@social.creatureofthehill.com
    wrote last edited by
    #3

    @KatyElphinstone@mas.to
    Feel that deep into our bones...

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    • qwyrdo@disabled.socialQ qwyrdo@disabled.social

      @KatyElphinstone I seem to recall research demonstrating that autistic people are more likely than average to be transgender as well; so we definitely break social norms.

      For my part I identify as nonbinary now (and have for a couple decades). After noting certain parallels with a diagnosed partner, I pushed my therapist at the time to administer diagnostics, even though he thought it "didn't fit."

      Now that clinic screens new clients for autism as a baseline.

      In other words, hard agree.

      katyelphinstone@mas.toK This user is from outside of this forum
      katyelphinstone@mas.toK This user is from outside of this forum
      katyelphinstone@mas.to
      wrote last edited by
      #4

      @qwyrdo

      Yes, so true... we're likely to be non-conforming in many ways. I'd also heard about the research and autistic people more likely to be trans or non-binary. That is really interesting about the baseline screening. I guess that is pretty telling!

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      • katyelphinstone@mas.toK katyelphinstone@mas.to

        Autistic people don’t just ‘fail to fit’ into social norms and into the social order.

        It seems quite a lot of the time we actually challenge the social order - often even just by existing.

        #Autism #ActuallyAutistic #Neurodiversity #Neurodivergent

        rawenwolf@meow.socialR This user is from outside of this forum
        rawenwolf@meow.socialR This user is from outside of this forum
        rawenwolf@meow.social
        wrote last edited by
        #5

        @KatyElphinstone
        Very much agreed and it neatly boils down to the simple yet ever-so-important and these days criminally underused question: "Why?"

        People usually don't question the norms because "they're norms" (yay, circular logic). And autistics, who already struggle to fit in, will start asking the "why" and then life becomes even more frustrating for them because there's no satisfactory answer. In the worst case they just get shut down with "Because it's a norm, period." On the bright side, sometimes they manage to take the person they asked with them on an exploratory journey

        katyelphinstone@mas.toK eazy@autistics.lifeE 2 Replies Last reply
        0
        • katyelphinstone@mas.toK katyelphinstone@mas.to

          Autistic people don’t just ‘fail to fit’ into social norms and into the social order.

          It seems quite a lot of the time we actually challenge the social order - often even just by existing.

          #Autism #ActuallyAutistic #Neurodiversity #Neurodivergent

          fabienmarry@mastodon.socialF This user is from outside of this forum
          fabienmarry@mastodon.socialF This user is from outside of this forum
          fabienmarry@mastodon.social
          wrote last edited by
          #6

          @KatyElphinstone I’d bet so much social progress was lead by autistic peeps. Being willing to stand up against the majority at great personal risk for a greater shared good is a very autistic thing to do.

          katyelphinstone@mas.toK 1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • rawenwolf@meow.socialR rawenwolf@meow.social

            @KatyElphinstone
            Very much agreed and it neatly boils down to the simple yet ever-so-important and these days criminally underused question: "Why?"

            People usually don't question the norms because "they're norms" (yay, circular logic). And autistics, who already struggle to fit in, will start asking the "why" and then life becomes even more frustrating for them because there's no satisfactory answer. In the worst case they just get shut down with "Because it's a norm, period." On the bright side, sometimes they manage to take the person they asked with them on an exploratory journey

            katyelphinstone@mas.toK This user is from outside of this forum
            katyelphinstone@mas.toK This user is from outside of this forum
            katyelphinstone@mas.to
            wrote last edited by
            #7

            @rawenwolf

            Yes, "because we've always done it that way."

            There's a name for that logical error that I can't currently remember.

            Habitat or something....? Hm ...

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            • fabienmarry@mastodon.socialF fabienmarry@mastodon.social

              @KatyElphinstone I’d bet so much social progress was lead by autistic peeps. Being willing to stand up against the majority at great personal risk for a greater shared good is a very autistic thing to do.

              katyelphinstone@mas.toK This user is from outside of this forum
              katyelphinstone@mas.toK This user is from outside of this forum
              katyelphinstone@mas.to
              wrote last edited by
              #8

              @fabienmarry

              True indeed! Often, as you say, not to our own personal advantage 😂

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              • rawenwolf@meow.socialR rawenwolf@meow.social

                @KatyElphinstone
                Very much agreed and it neatly boils down to the simple yet ever-so-important and these days criminally underused question: "Why?"

                People usually don't question the norms because "they're norms" (yay, circular logic). And autistics, who already struggle to fit in, will start asking the "why" and then life becomes even more frustrating for them because there's no satisfactory answer. In the worst case they just get shut down with "Because it's a norm, period." On the bright side, sometimes they manage to take the person they asked with them on an exploratory journey

                eazy@autistics.lifeE This user is from outside of this forum
                eazy@autistics.lifeE This user is from outside of this forum
                eazy@autistics.life
                wrote last edited by
                #9

                @rawenwolf @KatyElphinstone autism misses or misinterprets the norms and needs extra. Might be research, clarification, etc to understand them. I feel like conversations about how someone deals with norms is all you need for that part of the diagnosis.

                Side-note: a big part of sociology is formally looking at norms. Not a big stretch for autistics who already have to exert effort into understanding them.

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                • katyelphinstone@mas.toK katyelphinstone@mas.to

                  Autistic people don’t just ‘fail to fit’ into social norms and into the social order.

                  It seems quite a lot of the time we actually challenge the social order - often even just by existing.

                  #Autism #ActuallyAutistic #Neurodiversity #Neurodivergent

                  tarabara@indieweb.socialT This user is from outside of this forum
                  tarabara@indieweb.socialT This user is from outside of this forum
                  tarabara@indieweb.social
                  wrote last edited by
                  #10

                  @KatyElphinstone

                  "But you said..."
                  "Don't be so pedantic. You should just know what I mean, gawd!"

                  🙃

                  murdoc@autistics.lifeM 1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • katyelphinstone@mas.toK katyelphinstone@mas.to

                    Autistic people don’t just ‘fail to fit’ into social norms and into the social order.

                    It seems quite a lot of the time we actually challenge the social order - often even just by existing.

                    #Autism #ActuallyAutistic #Neurodiversity #Neurodivergent

                    crcollins@writing.exchangeC This user is from outside of this forum
                    crcollins@writing.exchangeC This user is from outside of this forum
                    crcollins@writing.exchange
                    wrote last edited by
                    #11

                    @KatyElphinstone

                    A lot of social "norms" need to change.

                    katyelphinstone@mas.toK 1 Reply Last reply
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                    • tarabara@indieweb.socialT tarabara@indieweb.social

                      @KatyElphinstone

                      "But you said..."
                      "Don't be so pedantic. You should just know what I mean, gawd!"

                      🙃

                      murdoc@autistics.lifeM This user is from outside of this forum
                      murdoc@autistics.lifeM This user is from outside of this forum
                      murdoc@autistics.life
                      wrote last edited by
                      #12

                      @tarabara @KatyElphinstone
                      The one I used to hear all the time was "Listen to what I mean, not what I say." 😞

                      tarabara@indieweb.socialT minego@pdx.socialM 2 Replies Last reply
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                      • murdoc@autistics.lifeM murdoc@autistics.life

                        @tarabara @KatyElphinstone
                        The one I used to hear all the time was "Listen to what I mean, not what I say." 😞

                        tarabara@indieweb.socialT This user is from outside of this forum
                        tarabara@indieweb.socialT This user is from outside of this forum
                        tarabara@indieweb.social
                        wrote last edited by
                        #13

                        @murdoc @KatyElphinstone Ugh, yes, that one too. 😵‍💫

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                        • crcollins@writing.exchangeC crcollins@writing.exchange

                          @KatyElphinstone

                          A lot of social "norms" need to change.

                          katyelphinstone@mas.toK This user is from outside of this forum
                          katyelphinstone@mas.toK This user is from outside of this forum
                          katyelphinstone@mas.to
                          wrote last edited by
                          #14

                          @crcollins

                          This. Very much this.

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                          • murdoc@autistics.lifeM murdoc@autistics.life

                            @tarabara @KatyElphinstone
                            The one I used to hear all the time was "Listen to what I mean, not what I say." 😞

                            minego@pdx.socialM This user is from outside of this forum
                            minego@pdx.socialM This user is from outside of this forum
                            minego@pdx.social
                            wrote last edited by
                            #15

                            @murdoc
                            @tarabara @KatyElphinstone I hate that so much... I can't count the number of times I've said (in an argument) "Listen to what I say, not what you think I mean!"

                            Words matter, and I pick mine carefully!

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