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  3. Autistic people don’t just ‘fail to fit’ into social norms and into the social order.

Autistic people don’t just ‘fail to fit’ into social norms and into the social order.

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neurodivergentneurodiversityactuallyautistiautism
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  • katyelphinstone@mas.toK katyelphinstone@mas.to

    Autistic people don’t just ‘fail to fit’ into social norms and into the social order.

    It seems quite a lot of the time we actually challenge the social order - often even just by existing.

    #Autism #ActuallyAutistic #Neurodiversity #Neurodivergent

    fabienmarry@mastodon.socialF This user is from outside of this forum
    fabienmarry@mastodon.socialF This user is from outside of this forum
    fabienmarry@mastodon.social
    wrote last edited by
    #6

    @KatyElphinstone I’d bet so much social progress was lead by autistic peeps. Being willing to stand up against the majority at great personal risk for a greater shared good is a very autistic thing to do.

    katyelphinstone@mas.toK 1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • rawenwolf@meow.socialR rawenwolf@meow.social

      @KatyElphinstone
      Very much agreed and it neatly boils down to the simple yet ever-so-important and these days criminally underused question: "Why?"

      People usually don't question the norms because "they're norms" (yay, circular logic). And autistics, who already struggle to fit in, will start asking the "why" and then life becomes even more frustrating for them because there's no satisfactory answer. In the worst case they just get shut down with "Because it's a norm, period." On the bright side, sometimes they manage to take the person they asked with them on an exploratory journey

      katyelphinstone@mas.toK This user is from outside of this forum
      katyelphinstone@mas.toK This user is from outside of this forum
      katyelphinstone@mas.to
      wrote last edited by
      #7

      @rawenwolf

      Yes, "because we've always done it that way."

      There's a name for that logical error that I can't currently remember.

      Habitat or something....? Hm ...

      1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • fabienmarry@mastodon.socialF fabienmarry@mastodon.social

        @KatyElphinstone I’d bet so much social progress was lead by autistic peeps. Being willing to stand up against the majority at great personal risk for a greater shared good is a very autistic thing to do.

        katyelphinstone@mas.toK This user is from outside of this forum
        katyelphinstone@mas.toK This user is from outside of this forum
        katyelphinstone@mas.to
        wrote last edited by
        #8

        @fabienmarry

        True indeed! Often, as you say, not to our own personal advantage 😂

        1 Reply Last reply
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        • rawenwolf@meow.socialR rawenwolf@meow.social

          @KatyElphinstone
          Very much agreed and it neatly boils down to the simple yet ever-so-important and these days criminally underused question: "Why?"

          People usually don't question the norms because "they're norms" (yay, circular logic). And autistics, who already struggle to fit in, will start asking the "why" and then life becomes even more frustrating for them because there's no satisfactory answer. In the worst case they just get shut down with "Because it's a norm, period." On the bright side, sometimes they manage to take the person they asked with them on an exploratory journey

          eazy@autistics.lifeE This user is from outside of this forum
          eazy@autistics.lifeE This user is from outside of this forum
          eazy@autistics.life
          wrote last edited by
          #9

          @rawenwolf @KatyElphinstone autism misses or misinterprets the norms and needs extra. Might be research, clarification, etc to understand them. I feel like conversations about how someone deals with norms is all you need for that part of the diagnosis.

          Side-note: a big part of sociology is formally looking at norms. Not a big stretch for autistics who already have to exert effort into understanding them.

          1 Reply Last reply
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          • katyelphinstone@mas.toK katyelphinstone@mas.to

            Autistic people don’t just ‘fail to fit’ into social norms and into the social order.

            It seems quite a lot of the time we actually challenge the social order - often even just by existing.

            #Autism #ActuallyAutistic #Neurodiversity #Neurodivergent

            tarabara@indieweb.socialT This user is from outside of this forum
            tarabara@indieweb.socialT This user is from outside of this forum
            tarabara@indieweb.social
            wrote last edited by
            #10

            @KatyElphinstone

            "But you said..."
            "Don't be so pedantic. You should just know what I mean, gawd!"

            🙃

            murdoc@autistics.lifeM 1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • katyelphinstone@mas.toK katyelphinstone@mas.to

              Autistic people don’t just ‘fail to fit’ into social norms and into the social order.

              It seems quite a lot of the time we actually challenge the social order - often even just by existing.

              #Autism #ActuallyAutistic #Neurodiversity #Neurodivergent

              crcollins@writing.exchangeC This user is from outside of this forum
              crcollins@writing.exchangeC This user is from outside of this forum
              crcollins@writing.exchange
              wrote last edited by
              #11

              @KatyElphinstone

              A lot of social "norms" need to change.

              katyelphinstone@mas.toK 1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • tarabara@indieweb.socialT tarabara@indieweb.social

                @KatyElphinstone

                "But you said..."
                "Don't be so pedantic. You should just know what I mean, gawd!"

                🙃

                murdoc@autistics.lifeM This user is from outside of this forum
                murdoc@autistics.lifeM This user is from outside of this forum
                murdoc@autistics.life
                wrote last edited by
                #12

                @tarabara @KatyElphinstone
                The one I used to hear all the time was "Listen to what I mean, not what I say." 😞

                tarabara@indieweb.socialT minego@pdx.socialM 2 Replies Last reply
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                • murdoc@autistics.lifeM murdoc@autistics.life

                  @tarabara @KatyElphinstone
                  The one I used to hear all the time was "Listen to what I mean, not what I say." 😞

                  tarabara@indieweb.socialT This user is from outside of this forum
                  tarabara@indieweb.socialT This user is from outside of this forum
                  tarabara@indieweb.social
                  wrote last edited by
                  #13

                  @murdoc @KatyElphinstone Ugh, yes, that one too. 😵‍💫

                  1 Reply Last reply
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                  • crcollins@writing.exchangeC crcollins@writing.exchange

                    @KatyElphinstone

                    A lot of social "norms" need to change.

                    katyelphinstone@mas.toK This user is from outside of this forum
                    katyelphinstone@mas.toK This user is from outside of this forum
                    katyelphinstone@mas.to
                    wrote last edited by
                    #14

                    @crcollins

                    This. Very much this.

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • murdoc@autistics.lifeM murdoc@autistics.life

                      @tarabara @KatyElphinstone
                      The one I used to hear all the time was "Listen to what I mean, not what I say." 😞

                      minego@pdx.socialM This user is from outside of this forum
                      minego@pdx.socialM This user is from outside of this forum
                      minego@pdx.social
                      wrote last edited by
                      #15

                      @murdoc
                      @tarabara @KatyElphinstone I hate that so much... I can't count the number of times I've said (in an argument) "Listen to what I say, not what you think I mean!"

                      Words matter, and I pick mine carefully!

                      1 Reply Last reply
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