<![CDATA[Autistic people don’t just ‘fail to fit’ into social norms and into the social order.]]>Autistic people don’t just ‘fail to fit’ into social norms and into the social order.

It seems quite a lot of the time we actually challenge the social order - often even just by existing.

]]>https://board.circlewithadot.net/topic/14e6e383-26ae-4e21-95ff-39f160eaf6f2/autistic-people-don-t-just-fail-to-fit-into-social-norms-and-into-the-social-order.RSS for NodeMon, 25 May 2026 13:02:49 GMTSat, 16 May 2026 04:52:45 GMT60<![CDATA[Reply to Autistic people don’t just ‘fail to fit’ into social norms and into the social order. on Sat, 16 May 2026 15:08:04 GMT]]>@murdoc
@tarabara @KatyElphinstone I hate that so much... I can't count the number of times I've said (in an argument) "Listen to what I say, not what you think I mean!"

Words matter, and I pick mine carefully!

]]>https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://pdx.social/users/minego/statuses/116584879554074471https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://pdx.social/users/minego/statuses/116584879554074471Sat, 16 May 2026 15:08:04 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Autistic people don’t just ‘fail to fit’ into social norms and into the social order. on Sat, 16 May 2026 15:04:33 GMT]]>@crcollins

This. Very much this.

]]>https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://mas.to/users/KatyElphinstone/statuses/116584865673188195https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://mas.to/users/KatyElphinstone/statuses/116584865673188195Sat, 16 May 2026 15:04:33 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Autistic people don’t just ‘fail to fit’ into social norms and into the social order. on Sat, 16 May 2026 14:26:16 GMT]]>@murdoc @KatyElphinstone Ugh, yes, that one too. 😵‍💫

]]>https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://indieweb.social/users/tarabara/statuses/116584715130756831https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://indieweb.social/users/tarabara/statuses/116584715130756831Sat, 16 May 2026 14:26:16 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Autistic people don’t just ‘fail to fit’ into social norms and into the social order. on Sat, 16 May 2026 14:10:28 GMT]]>@tarabara @KatyElphinstone
The one I used to hear all the time was "Listen to what I mean, not what I say." 😞

]]>https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://autistics.life/users/murdoc/statuses/116584653026243835https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://autistics.life/users/murdoc/statuses/116584653026243835Sat, 16 May 2026 14:10:28 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Autistic people don’t just ‘fail to fit’ into social norms and into the social order. on Sat, 16 May 2026 12:41:32 GMT]]>@KatyElphinstone

A lot of social "norms" need to change.

]]>https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://writing.exchange/users/crcollins/statuses/116584303356961244https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://writing.exchange/users/crcollins/statuses/116584303356961244Sat, 16 May 2026 12:41:32 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Autistic people don’t just ‘fail to fit’ into social norms and into the social order. on Sat, 16 May 2026 12:13:35 GMT]]>@KatyElphinstone

"But you said..."
"Don't be so pedantic. You should just know what I mean, gawd!"

🙃

]]>https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://indieweb.social/users/tarabara/statuses/116584193426574393https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://indieweb.social/users/tarabara/statuses/116584193426574393Sat, 16 May 2026 12:13:35 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Autistic people don’t just ‘fail to fit’ into social norms and into the social order. on Sat, 16 May 2026 10:50:15 GMT]]>@rawenwolf @KatyElphinstone autism misses or misinterprets the norms and needs extra. Might be research, clarification, etc to understand them. I feel like conversations about how someone deals with norms is all you need for that part of the diagnosis.

Side-note: a big part of sociology is formally looking at norms. Not a big stretch for autistics who already have to exert effort into understanding them.

]]>https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://autistics.life/users/eazy/statuses/116583865735766872https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://autistics.life/users/eazy/statuses/116583865735766872Sat, 16 May 2026 10:50:15 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Autistic people don’t just ‘fail to fit’ into social norms and into the social order. on Sat, 16 May 2026 07:26:19 GMT]]>@fabienmarry

True indeed! Often, as you say, not to our own personal advantage 😂

]]>https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://mas.to/users/KatyElphinstone/statuses/116583063838325267https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://mas.to/users/KatyElphinstone/statuses/116583063838325267Sat, 16 May 2026 07:26:19 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Autistic people don’t just ‘fail to fit’ into social norms and into the social order. on Sat, 16 May 2026 07:25:47 GMT]]>@rawenwolf

Yes, "because we've always done it that way."

There's a name for that logical error that I can't currently remember.

Habitat or something....? Hm ...

]]>https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://mas.to/users/KatyElphinstone/statuses/116583061776547178https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://mas.to/users/KatyElphinstone/statuses/116583061776547178Sat, 16 May 2026 07:25:47 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Autistic people don’t just ‘fail to fit’ into social norms and into the social order. on Sat, 16 May 2026 07:18:12 GMT]]>@KatyElphinstone I’d bet so much social progress was lead by autistic peeps. Being willing to stand up against the majority at great personal risk for a greater shared good is a very autistic thing to do.

]]>https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://mastodon.social/users/fabienmarry/statuses/116583031912437496https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://mastodon.social/users/fabienmarry/statuses/116583031912437496Sat, 16 May 2026 07:18:12 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Autistic people don’t just ‘fail to fit’ into social norms and into the social order. on Sat, 16 May 2026 07:11:43 GMT]]>@KatyElphinstone
Very much agreed and it neatly boils down to the simple yet ever-so-important and these days criminally underused question: "Why?"

People usually don't question the norms because "they're norms" (yay, circular logic). And autistics, who already struggle to fit in, will start asking the "why" and then life becomes even more frustrating for them because there's no satisfactory answer. In the worst case they just get shut down with "Because it's a norm, period." On the bright side, sometimes they manage to take the person they asked with them on an exploratory journey

]]>https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://meow.social/users/rawenwolf/statuses/116583006464712275https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://meow.social/users/rawenwolf/statuses/116583006464712275Sat, 16 May 2026 07:11:43 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Autistic people don’t just ‘fail to fit’ into social norms and into the social order. on Sat, 16 May 2026 05:27:36 GMT]]>@qwyrdo

Yes, so true... we're likely to be non-conforming in many ways. I'd also heard about the research and autistic people more likely to be trans or non-binary. That is really interesting about the baseline screening. I guess that is pretty telling!

]]>https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://mas.to/users/KatyElphinstone/statuses/116582597061916358https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://mas.to/users/KatyElphinstone/statuses/116582597061916358Sat, 16 May 2026 05:27:36 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Autistic people don’t just ‘fail to fit’ into social norms and into the social order. on Sat, 16 May 2026 05:19:16 GMT]]>@KatyElphinstone@mas.to
Feel that deep into our bones...

]]>https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://social.creatureofthehill.com/notes/ambgnmhvo6n4009whttps://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://social.creatureofthehill.com/notes/ambgnmhvo6n4009wSat, 16 May 2026 05:19:16 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Autistic people don’t just ‘fail to fit’ into social norms and into the social order. on Sat, 16 May 2026 04:58:35 GMT]]>@KatyElphinstone I seem to recall research demonstrating that autistic people are more likely than average to be transgender as well; so we definitely break social norms.

For my part I identify as nonbinary now (and have for a couple decades). After noting certain parallels with a diagnosed partner, I pushed my therapist at the time to administer diagnostics, even though he thought it "didn't fit."

Now that clinic screens new clients for autism as a baseline.

In other words, hard agree.

]]>https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://disabled.social/users/qwyrdo/statuses/116582482931213252https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://disabled.social/users/qwyrdo/statuses/116582482931213252Sat, 16 May 2026 04:58:35 GMT