Saw this elsewhere, thought it'd be a good to share here
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@sharkNserg Okay, but why can't we just meow at each other? It would make things so much easier...
@Coffee @sharkNserg
Having an actual social interaction gives a lot more information to both parties. Any anti-social psycho can make cat noises. -
Saw this elsewhere, thought it'd be a good to share here
@sharkNserg Yes, but…
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Saw this elsewhere, thought it'd be a good to share here
@sharkNserg introverts ignoring this XD
Small talk is a kryptonite. -
@sharkNserg Small talk is something I struggle with. Thanks for sharing this.
A not so secret trick to small talk is to ask the other person about themselves with open questions, imho.
People like to talk about the stuff they care about, and just having an active listener makes them feel seen.
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Saw this elsewhere, thought it'd be a good to share here
@sharkNserg There's the passive meeting technology: 3 fast & short nods followed by a pause of 3-5 seconds, then a slong & long nod then 10 seconds pause.
Rinse and repeat…
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@sharkNserg I know all of that and I still hate it.
@irina @sharkNserg This. What's the point of pleasing the neuroconvergent crowd when it still doesn't really solve the double empathy problem?!
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@sharkNserg I know all of that and I still hate it.
@irina @sharkNserg yup, I'd like to be able to flip a switch and do it, but I find small talk threatening and I'd still want to know before flipping the switch if I was approaching someone like me who would prefer if I didn't
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@Coffee @sharkNserg
Having an actual social interaction gives a lot more information to both parties. Any anti-social psycho can make cat noises.@ide
meow meow purr, mrrwpany anti-social *hisss* can describe the weather
@Coffee @sharkNserg -
Saw this elsewhere, thought it'd be a good to share here
@sharkNserg meow, yes... sometimes if you just laugh at what they say, they get really happy with you and get really friendly. sometimes it is tiresome, but that's kind of a insignificantly small burden
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Saw this elsewhere, thought it'd be a good to share here
if you dislike small talk: this post isn't to convince you to like it
It's only to explain, if you have ever thought "small talk is so pointless and I don't understand why people do it", well, why they do it
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@Coffee @sharkNserg
Having an actual social interaction gives a lot more information to both parties. Any anti-social psycho can make cat noises.@ide @sharkNserg @Coffee counterpoint: any "anti-social" "psycho" (descriptors that are ableist when used as they are here) can hold smalltalk.
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@sharkNserg as an audhd guy looking back on my time of being a small talk hater I realize now it was more not seeing the point in scripting those interactions, but now I certainly enjoy the benefits of getting friendly with random people I meet day to day.
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@sharkNserg Okay, but why can't we just meow at each other? It would make things so much easier...
@Coffee@toot.cafe @sharkNserg@plush.city If the purpose of small talk is to make friendly noises, then meowing is also a form of small talk
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Saw this elsewhere, thought it'd be a good to share here
@sharkNserg And a friendly wave or a handshake proves you don't have a weapon in your hand, at least ATM.
A hug is more ambiguous.
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Saw this elsewhere, thought it'd be a good to share here
@sharkNserg I do small talk at the beginning of work meetings to hopefully find some connection with people. Knitters, runners, bakers, readers etc. people who love pickles. If you share a tiny bit of your day sometimes you can start making friends.
So I agree with this definition of small talk completely!
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@sharkNserg I do small talk at the beginning of work meetings to hopefully find some connection with people. Knitters, runners, bakers, readers etc. people who love pickles. If you share a tiny bit of your day sometimes you can start making friends.
So I agree with this definition of small talk completely!
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Saw this elsewhere, thought it'd be a good to share here
@sharkNserg As someone who's never been fond of small talk (though I understand its social-interaction purpose), I would probably do well to practice it more.
I probably come across as aloof or unapproachable at times, but then once I get comfortable with a person, I can very easily over-share.
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@sharkNserg As someone who's never been fond of small talk (though I understand its social-interaction purpose), I would probably do well to practice it more.
I probably come across as aloof or unapproachable at times, but then once I get comfortable with a person, I can very easily over-share.
I've been trying to be more sociable and more at ease talking to strangers. My approach is to pretend (more or less) that I am interviewing them for a magazine or something. But with genuine interest.
The best is when I get someone talking about something arcane that they are excited about, and I try to understand why.
People love talking about their passions, and I've learned all kinds of things.
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A not so secret trick to small talk is to ask the other person about themselves with open questions, imho.
People like to talk about the stuff they care about, and just having an active listener makes them feel seen.
@billiglarper @adar @sharkNserg
The secret to being a wonderful conversationalist is to ask questions. Many won't realize you aren't talking about yourself.
Another secret is to learn to mirror the other's responses converationally. Show that you heard and ask follow up questions.
But you don't build strong friendships this way.
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Saw this elsewhere, thought it'd be a good to share here
@sharkNserg I too see the utility - maybe even the evolutionary origins - of small talk. And then there is Norwegian society, where small talk between strangers seems to be anathema lol.
