Dear app developers,I have never had the desire to review an app.
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@malwarejake until you reinstall for literally any reason, and get mandatory new-user hints and tips and intros and tutorials....
I have 8000 hours in this program, I'm not a new user damnit.
references: gestures broadly at ALL SOFTWARE
@kajer @malwarejake or some PM decides whichever new feature you don’t care about is worth a forced new user flow aka an ad
sometimes when you start using the software for the first time it just dumps these on you for random features
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@mattblaze @malwarejake Yeah, most apps aren't special or lovable. They're meant to be functional. They have a function that they can complete or not complete. If my can opener made me stop and review it before I could open a goddamned can of beans, I'd throw it through a window.
@drsbaitso @malwarejake I'm imaging how this would go in the pre-app era, when you had to call a human agent to track the package:
"Fedex, can I help you?"
"Yes, I'd like to track a package."
"OK, but first, I need you to tell me if you love me."
"What?"
"I can't do this anymore if I don't feel loved and appreciated."
"Um, I just want to track a package."
"Yes, yes. Of course you do, That's what I thought. I suppose I'm not worthy of love. I have to hang up now. I'll be thinking of you."
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@malwarejake I'm especially put off by the popups that interrupt me as soon as I open the app. "Do you love the FedEx app?" No, I just want to track my fucking package. And that's a really stalker-y way to ask, frankly.
@mattblaze @malwarejake I leave a negative review every time this happens.
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@drsbaitso @malwarejake I'm imaging how this would go in the pre-app era, when you had to call a human agent to track the package:
"Fedex, can I help you?"
"Yes, I'd like to track a package."
"OK, but first, I need you to tell me if you love me."
"What?"
"I can't do this anymore if I don't feel loved and appreciated."
"Um, I just want to track a package."
"Yes, yes. Of course you do, That's what I thought. I suppose I'm not worthy of love. I have to hang up now. I'll be thinking of you."
@mattblaze @malwarejake "Oh, I'll be thinking of you too. Not fondly."
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@malwarejake I'm especially put off by the popups that interrupt me as soon as I open the app. "Do you love the FedEx app?" No, I just want to track my fucking package. And that's a really stalker-y way to ask, frankly.
@mattblaze @malwarejake worse, most of them shouldn't even be apps to begin with! I just want to track my fucking package; that's a web page not a goddamn app!
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Dear app developers,
I have never had the desire to review an app. Prompting me to leave a review doe not make me want to do it any more. Making me click multiple times to dismiss your "nudge" and get back to using the app just makes me want to uninstall it.
Sincerely,
Every smartphone user ever@malwarejake Especially if you have the “Don’t asks for reviews” flag set.

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@mattblaze @malwarejake I leave a negative review every time this happens.
@jernej__s
This is the way
@mattblaze @malwarejake -
Dear app developers,
I have never had the desire to review an app. Prompting me to leave a review doe not make me want to do it any more. Making me click multiple times to dismiss your "nudge" and get back to using the app just makes me want to uninstall it.
Sincerely,
Every smartphone user ever@malwarejake I normally review apps that constantly nudge with a 1 star.
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@jernej__s
This is the way
@mattblaze @malwarejake@Kishi @jernej__s @malwarejake I wonder if it is, in a world where metrics of “engagement” are more valued than actual quality.
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@Kishi @jernej__s @malwarejake I wonder if it is, in a world where metrics of “engagement” are more valued than actual quality.
@mattblaze @jernej__s @malwarejake
Yeah, there is that as well, but at that point, they might as well begin counting "tap away or close" as a positive engagement. Not sure if we're at that point, but right now, everything stupid seems plausible.
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@malwarejake I'm especially put off by the popups that interrupt me as soon as I open the app. "Do you love the FedEx app?" No, I just want to track my fucking package. And that's a really stalker-y way to ask, frankly.
@mattblaze Right?! There must be better ways to work the request into the application flow instead of it getting in the way of what you were doing.
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@malwarejake I'm especially put off by the popups that interrupt me as soon as I open the app. "Do you love the FedEx app?" No, I just want to track my fucking package. And that's a really stalker-y way to ask, frankly.
@mattblaze @malwarejake An authentication token I’m forced to use for work popped one of those review begs up for me recently *before it let me see the token code*. The best user opinion an application like that can ever hope for is “inoffensive”, and getting in my way makes it decidedly not inoffensive.
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Dear app developers,
I have never had the desire to review an app. Prompting me to leave a review doe not make me want to do it any more. Making me click multiple times to dismiss your "nudge" and get back to using the app just makes me want to uninstall it.
Sincerely,
Every smartphone user ever -
Dear app developers,
I have never had the desire to review an app. Prompting me to leave a review doe not make me want to do it any more. Making me click multiple times to dismiss your "nudge" and get back to using the app just makes me want to uninstall it.
Sincerely,
Every smartphone user ever@malwarejake Anything that ever asks me to review it gets 1 star.
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Dear app developers,
I have never had the desire to review an app. Prompting me to leave a review doe not make me want to do it any more. Making me click multiple times to dismiss your "nudge" and get back to using the app just makes me want to uninstall it.
Sincerely,
Every smartphone user ever@malwarejake I actually have sometimes wanted to review an. But only when it's a POS
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Dear app developers,
I have never had the desire to review an app. Prompting me to leave a review doe not make me want to do it any more. Making me click multiple times to dismiss your "nudge" and get back to using the app just makes me want to uninstall it.
Sincerely,
Every smartphone user ever@malwarejake Just give it one star and say you're doing it because the prompt to review is intrusive.
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Dear app developers,
I have never had the desire to review an app. Prompting me to leave a review doe not make me want to do it any more. Making me click multiple times to dismiss your "nudge" and get back to using the app just makes me want to uninstall it.
Sincerely,
Every smartphone user ever@malwarejake I've worked in mobile gaming for years. The reason they push so hard is because app store ranking has a DIRECT correlation to number of users coming into the app, and thus engagement and money.
The PM will push the prompt when they fix any issues that were dragging down metrics. New features can do that, but very often fixing a bug will do it too.
There is so much competition in app stores now-a-days, it's hard to break through.
As a user, I totally agree with you though. 100%
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Dear app developers,
I have never had the desire to review an app. Prompting me to leave a review doe not make me want to do it any more. Making me click multiple times to dismiss your "nudge" and get back to using the app just makes me want to uninstall it.
Sincerely,
Every smartphone user ever@malwarejake
The only app I ever reviewed was the one that declared that it needed to take my contacts with its next update. I read that, did not do the update, left a review saying why I was deleting it, and then did so. -
R relay@relay.mycrowd.ca shared this topic
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Dear app developers,
I have never had the desire to review an app. Prompting me to leave a review doe not make me want to do it any more. Making me click multiple times to dismiss your "nudge" and get back to using the app just makes me want to uninstall it.
Sincerely,
Every smartphone user ever@malwarejake @robpike I agree, from a phone user’s perspective. But having been on the dev side, this happens because people pay attention to ratings and reviews. People optimize for the thing they’re judged by, so app developers need to get people doing this as long as people keep judging them by the result.
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Dear app developers,
I have never had the desire to review an app. Prompting me to leave a review doe not make me want to do it any more. Making me click multiple times to dismiss your "nudge" and get back to using the app just makes me want to uninstall it.
Sincerely,
Every smartphone user ever@malwarejake
Hmm, they usually dont ask again if you go into the reviews area and then click cancel, orrrr just give a 1 star review due to their review begging