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  3. It seems that as a species develops more emphasis on brains, it also produces more assholes.

It seems that as a species develops more emphasis on brains, it also produces more assholes.

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  • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

    One summer while I was wearing shorts, I had a big hornet fly over, bite into the side of my thigh and then proceed to sting me like half a dozen times for no apparent reason.

    I feel like hornets, wasps, and yellow jackets are all pretty much raging assholes.

    symtrkl@anarres.familyS This user is from outside of this forum
    symtrkl@anarres.familyS This user is from outside of this forum
    symtrkl@anarres.family
    wrote last edited by
    #12

    @alice vespids are the americans of pollinators

    1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
      alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
      alice@lgbtqia.space
      wrote last edited by
      #13

      @tompearce49 but are they jerks or do they just have the capacity to punch things?

      bob_zim@infosec.exchangeB 1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • bob_zim@infosec.exchangeB This user is from outside of this forum
        bob_zim@infosec.exchangeB This user is from outside of this forum
        bob_zim@infosec.exchange
        wrote last edited by
        #14

        @tompearce49 @alice Yes. An animal with three names of other animals, all of which it isn’t. Rude before you even meet one.

        1 Reply Last reply
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        • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

          @roknrol has anyone seen an octopus troll another animal?

          Never mind, https://futurism.com/the-byte/spiteful-octopuses-punch-fish-angry

          roknrol@beige.partyR This user is from outside of this forum
          roknrol@beige.partyR This user is from outside of this forum
          roknrol@beige.party
          wrote last edited by
          #15

          @alice Did anyone find out the full story? Maybe those fish had it coming.

          roknrol@beige.partyR 1 Reply Last reply
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          • bruce@darkmoon.socialB bruce@darkmoon.social

            @MRutenberg @mattblaze @alice
            Bees are chill. You leave them alone, they'll leave you alone. Wasps will sting you just because you failed to cross the street when you walked by them. Total jerks.

            bob_zim@infosec.exchangeB This user is from outside of this forum
            bob_zim@infosec.exchangeB This user is from outside of this forum
            bob_zim@infosec.exchange
            wrote last edited by
            #16

            @bruce @MRutenberg @mattblaze @alice I think he meant how wasps will go out of their way to kill bees which aren’t harming or competing with them in any way.

            schrotthaufen@mastodon.socialS kirtai@tech.lgbtK bruce@darkmoon.socialB 3 Replies Last reply
            0
            • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

              One summer while I was wearing shorts, I had a big hornet fly over, bite into the side of my thigh and then proceed to sting me like half a dozen times for no apparent reason.

              I feel like hornets, wasps, and yellow jackets are all pretty much raging assholes.

              aura@sunny.gardenA This user is from outside of this forum
              aura@sunny.gardenA This user is from outside of this forum
              aura@sunny.garden
              wrote last edited by
              #17

              @alice Hornets *especially*. I can usually just ignore a wasp but a hornet is just gonna do as much damage as it can because it hates everything (but mostly me).

              1 Reply Last reply
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              • ai6yr@m.ai6yr.orgA ai6yr@m.ai6yr.org

                @ColesStreetPothole @alice Scrub jays. Intelligent, but boy they are mean, hassle every other bird in the yard.

                colesstreetpothole@weatherishappening.networkC This user is from outside of this forum
                colesstreetpothole@weatherishappening.networkC This user is from outside of this forum
                colesstreetpothole@weatherishappening.network
                wrote last edited by
                #18

                @ai6yr I feel like a scrub jay could at least partially solve a crossword puzzle, though—that is, before they lit it on your barbecue grill and flew into the dry brush near your house. @alice

                nickgates@friendsofdesoto.socialN 1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • roknrol@beige.partyR roknrol@beige.party

                  @alice Did anyone find out the full story? Maybe those fish had it coming.

                  roknrol@beige.partyR This user is from outside of this forum
                  roknrol@beige.partyR This user is from outside of this forum
                  roknrol@beige.party
                  wrote last edited by
                  #19

                  @alice What about crows and ravens? Are they assholes on purpose or just annoying to humans?

                  alice@lgbtqia.spaceA 1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                    One summer while I was wearing shorts, I had a big hornet fly over, bite into the side of my thigh and then proceed to sting me like half a dozen times for no apparent reason.

                    I feel like hornets, wasps, and yellow jackets are all pretty much raging assholes.

                    jef@mastodon.socialJ This user is from outside of this forum
                    jef@mastodon.socialJ This user is from outside of this forum
                    jef@mastodon.social
                    wrote last edited by
                    #20

                    @alice A classic from birdsite:

                    Wild bee: just getting snack
                    Me: no prob bee

                    Mason bee: just make house
                    me: build a way B

                    Honey bee: jus sampling the lavenders
                    me: you know i got an assortment

                    Bumblebee: hey *bonk* I just *bonk* I h
                    me: *holds flower still*

                    Wasp: ILL SEE U IN HELL
                    me: TELL THEM WHO SENT U

                    1 Reply Last reply
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                    • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                      It seems that as a species develops more emphasis on brains, it also produces more assholes.

                      Humans? Legendary assholes.
                      Dolphins? Assholes.
                      Cats are notorious for being jerks.

                      Dogs, ducks, geese, seagulls, crows...all have dickish individuals.

                      What're some species that would be least likely to solve a crossword puzzle, but still produce a significant percentage of assholes?

                      Like are there any shrimp out there that are just little fuckers?

                      chris@mastodon.chriswiegman.comC This user is from outside of this forum
                      chris@mastodon.chriswiegman.comC This user is from outside of this forum
                      chris@mastodon.chriswiegman.com
                      wrote last edited by
                      #21

                      @alice pigeons…. At least if you’re in a city anyway.

                      1 Reply Last reply
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                      • bob_zim@infosec.exchangeB bob_zim@infosec.exchange

                        @bruce @MRutenberg @mattblaze @alice I think he meant how wasps will go out of their way to kill bees which aren’t harming or competing with them in any way.

                        schrotthaufen@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                        schrotthaufen@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                        schrotthaufen@mastodon.social
                        wrote last edited by
                        #22

                        @bob_zim @bruce @MRutenberg @mattblaze @alice And hornets enslave bees. Super big, genocidal assholes.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                          It seems that as a species develops more emphasis on brains, it also produces more assholes.

                          Humans? Legendary assholes.
                          Dolphins? Assholes.
                          Cats are notorious for being jerks.

                          Dogs, ducks, geese, seagulls, crows...all have dickish individuals.

                          What're some species that would be least likely to solve a crossword puzzle, but still produce a significant percentage of assholes?

                          Like are there any shrimp out there that are just little fuckers?

                          rupert@mastodon.nzR This user is from outside of this forum
                          rupert@mastodon.nzR This user is from outside of this forum
                          rupert@mastodon.nz
                          wrote last edited by
                          #23

                          @alice Male sea otters, if they can't find any female otters to rape, will rape baby harbour seals to death.
                          Yes, otters are quite smart, but this is human, or at least dolphin, level of assholery.

                          alice@lgbtqia.spaceA 1 Reply Last reply
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                          • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                            It seems that as a species develops more emphasis on brains, it also produces more assholes.

                            Humans? Legendary assholes.
                            Dolphins? Assholes.
                            Cats are notorious for being jerks.

                            Dogs, ducks, geese, seagulls, crows...all have dickish individuals.

                            What're some species that would be least likely to solve a crossword puzzle, but still produce a significant percentage of assholes?

                            Like are there any shrimp out there that are just little fuckers?

                            ianamartin@thecanadian.socialI This user is from outside of this forum
                            ianamartin@thecanadian.socialI This user is from outside of this forum
                            ianamartin@thecanadian.social
                            wrote last edited by
                            #24

                            @alice Horses are smart but can be dickheads.

                            alice@lgbtqia.spaceA 1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                              It seems that as a species develops more emphasis on brains, it also produces more assholes.

                              Humans? Legendary assholes.
                              Dolphins? Assholes.
                              Cats are notorious for being jerks.

                              Dogs, ducks, geese, seagulls, crows...all have dickish individuals.

                              What're some species that would be least likely to solve a crossword puzzle, but still produce a significant percentage of assholes?

                              Like are there any shrimp out there that are just little fuckers?

                              symtrkl@anarres.familyS This user is from outside of this forum
                              symtrkl@anarres.familyS This user is from outside of this forum
                              symtrkl@anarres.family
                              wrote last edited by
                              #25

                              @alice Are octopi known to be assholes or are they the outliers here? Also pigs are absolutely smart and also assholes.

                              Having a hard time thinking of assholes on the other end of the spectrum. Bedbugs probably, they're little shitheads but right up there with amoeba on the "stimulus/response and no smarter" scale.

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                                It seems that as a species develops more emphasis on brains, it also produces more assholes.

                                Humans? Legendary assholes.
                                Dolphins? Assholes.
                                Cats are notorious for being jerks.

                                Dogs, ducks, geese, seagulls, crows...all have dickish individuals.

                                What're some species that would be least likely to solve a crossword puzzle, but still produce a significant percentage of assholes?

                                Like are there any shrimp out there that are just little fuckers?

                                rupert@mastodon.nzR This user is from outside of this forum
                                rupert@mastodon.nzR This user is from outside of this forum
                                rupert@mastodon.nz
                                wrote last edited by
                                #26

                                @alice Tarantula hawk wasps paralyse spiders, lay eggs inside them and the larvae eat their way out of the still-living spider.
                                Very low intelligence, extreme assholery.

                                alice@lgbtqia.spaceA 1 Reply Last reply
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                                • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                                  It seems that as a species develops more emphasis on brains, it also produces more assholes.

                                  Humans? Legendary assholes.
                                  Dolphins? Assholes.
                                  Cats are notorious for being jerks.

                                  Dogs, ducks, geese, seagulls, crows...all have dickish individuals.

                                  What're some species that would be least likely to solve a crossword puzzle, but still produce a significant percentage of assholes?

                                  Like are there any shrimp out there that are just little fuckers?

                                  eleanor@chaosfem.twE This user is from outside of this forum
                                  eleanor@chaosfem.twE This user is from outside of this forum
                                  eleanor@chaosfem.tw
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #27

                                  @alice Scorpions are jerks. Most arachnids, including black widows, would prefer to go hide in the shadows rather than confront anything. But scorpions will put that tail up and come after you.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                                    It seems that as a species develops more emphasis on brains, it also produces more assholes.

                                    Humans? Legendary assholes.
                                    Dolphins? Assholes.
                                    Cats are notorious for being jerks.

                                    Dogs, ducks, geese, seagulls, crows...all have dickish individuals.

                                    What're some species that would be least likely to solve a crossword puzzle, but still produce a significant percentage of assholes?

                                    Like are there any shrimp out there that are just little fuckers?

                                    bielsubob@infosec.exchangeB This user is from outside of this forum
                                    bielsubob@infosec.exchangeB This user is from outside of this forum
                                    bielsubob@infosec.exchange
                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #28

                                    @alice Geese would probably land high on the asshole list.

                                    alice@lgbtqia.spaceA 1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                                      It seems that as a species develops more emphasis on brains, it also produces more assholes.

                                      Humans? Legendary assholes.
                                      Dolphins? Assholes.
                                      Cats are notorious for being jerks.

                                      Dogs, ducks, geese, seagulls, crows...all have dickish individuals.

                                      What're some species that would be least likely to solve a crossword puzzle, but still produce a significant percentage of assholes?

                                      Like are there any shrimp out there that are just little fuckers?

                                      schrotthaufen@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                                      schrotthaufen@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                                      schrotthaufen@mastodon.social
                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #29

                                      @alice I think comrade Capybara is quite based. https://time.com/6173837/capybaras-argentina-climate-change/

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                                        It seems that as a species develops more emphasis on brains, it also produces more assholes.

                                        Humans? Legendary assholes.
                                        Dolphins? Assholes.
                                        Cats are notorious for being jerks.

                                        Dogs, ducks, geese, seagulls, crows...all have dickish individuals.

                                        What're some species that would be least likely to solve a crossword puzzle, but still produce a significant percentage of assholes?

                                        Like are there any shrimp out there that are just little fuckers?

                                        joshsusser@autistics.lifeJ This user is from outside of this forum
                                        joshsusser@autistics.lifeJ This user is from outside of this forum
                                        joshsusser@autistics.life
                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #30

                                        @alice probably some species of cichlid. those fish are surprisingly complicated.

                                        on the other hand, hermit crabs are so polite that they will line up in order of size to wait for a shell of the right size to become available and then pass an empty shell down the line.

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • colesstreetpothole@weatherishappening.networkC colesstreetpothole@weatherishappening.network

                                          @ai6yr I feel like a scrub jay could at least partially solve a crossword puzzle, though—that is, before they lit it on your barbecue grill and flew into the dry brush near your house. @alice

                                          nickgates@friendsofdesoto.socialN This user is from outside of this forum
                                          nickgates@friendsofdesoto.socialN This user is from outside of this forum
                                          nickgates@friendsofdesoto.social
                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #31

                                          @ColesStreetPothole @ai6yr @alice the scrub jays are one meeting in a smoky room away from starting a protection racket in my neighborhood

                                          nickgates@friendsofdesoto.socialN 1 Reply Last reply
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