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  3. It seems that as a species develops more emphasis on brains, it also produces more assholes.

It seems that as a species develops more emphasis on brains, it also produces more assholes.

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  • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

    One summer while I was wearing shorts, I had a big hornet fly over, bite into the side of my thigh and then proceed to sting me like half a dozen times for no apparent reason.

    I feel like hornets, wasps, and yellow jackets are all pretty much raging assholes.

    jef@mastodon.socialJ This user is from outside of this forum
    jef@mastodon.socialJ This user is from outside of this forum
    jef@mastodon.social
    wrote last edited by
    #20

    @alice A classic from birdsite:

    Wild bee: just getting snack
    Me: no prob bee

    Mason bee: just make house
    me: build a way B

    Honey bee: jus sampling the lavenders
    me: you know i got an assortment

    Bumblebee: hey *bonk* I just *bonk* I h
    me: *holds flower still*

    Wasp: ILL SEE U IN HELL
    me: TELL THEM WHO SENT U

    1 Reply Last reply
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    • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

      It seems that as a species develops more emphasis on brains, it also produces more assholes.

      Humans? Legendary assholes.
      Dolphins? Assholes.
      Cats are notorious for being jerks.

      Dogs, ducks, geese, seagulls, crows...all have dickish individuals.

      What're some species that would be least likely to solve a crossword puzzle, but still produce a significant percentage of assholes?

      Like are there any shrimp out there that are just little fuckers?

      chris@mastodon.chriswiegman.comC This user is from outside of this forum
      chris@mastodon.chriswiegman.comC This user is from outside of this forum
      chris@mastodon.chriswiegman.com
      wrote last edited by
      #21

      @alice pigeons…. At least if you’re in a city anyway.

      1 Reply Last reply
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      • bob_zim@infosec.exchangeB bob_zim@infosec.exchange

        @bruce @MRutenberg @mattblaze @alice I think he meant how wasps will go out of their way to kill bees which aren’t harming or competing with them in any way.

        schrotthaufen@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
        schrotthaufen@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
        schrotthaufen@mastodon.social
        wrote last edited by
        #22

        @bob_zim @bruce @MRutenberg @mattblaze @alice And hornets enslave bees. Super big, genocidal assholes.

        1 Reply Last reply
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        • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

          It seems that as a species develops more emphasis on brains, it also produces more assholes.

          Humans? Legendary assholes.
          Dolphins? Assholes.
          Cats are notorious for being jerks.

          Dogs, ducks, geese, seagulls, crows...all have dickish individuals.

          What're some species that would be least likely to solve a crossword puzzle, but still produce a significant percentage of assholes?

          Like are there any shrimp out there that are just little fuckers?

          rupert@mastodon.nzR This user is from outside of this forum
          rupert@mastodon.nzR This user is from outside of this forum
          rupert@mastodon.nz
          wrote last edited by
          #23

          @alice Male sea otters, if they can't find any female otters to rape, will rape baby harbour seals to death.
          Yes, otters are quite smart, but this is human, or at least dolphin, level of assholery.

          alice@lgbtqia.spaceA 1 Reply Last reply
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          • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

            It seems that as a species develops more emphasis on brains, it also produces more assholes.

            Humans? Legendary assholes.
            Dolphins? Assholes.
            Cats are notorious for being jerks.

            Dogs, ducks, geese, seagulls, crows...all have dickish individuals.

            What're some species that would be least likely to solve a crossword puzzle, but still produce a significant percentage of assholes?

            Like are there any shrimp out there that are just little fuckers?

            ianamartin@thecanadian.socialI This user is from outside of this forum
            ianamartin@thecanadian.socialI This user is from outside of this forum
            ianamartin@thecanadian.social
            wrote last edited by
            #24

            @alice Horses are smart but can be dickheads.

            alice@lgbtqia.spaceA 1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

              It seems that as a species develops more emphasis on brains, it also produces more assholes.

              Humans? Legendary assholes.
              Dolphins? Assholes.
              Cats are notorious for being jerks.

              Dogs, ducks, geese, seagulls, crows...all have dickish individuals.

              What're some species that would be least likely to solve a crossword puzzle, but still produce a significant percentage of assholes?

              Like are there any shrimp out there that are just little fuckers?

              symtrkl@anarres.familyS This user is from outside of this forum
              symtrkl@anarres.familyS This user is from outside of this forum
              symtrkl@anarres.family
              wrote last edited by
              #25

              @alice Are octopi known to be assholes or are they the outliers here? Also pigs are absolutely smart and also assholes.

              Having a hard time thinking of assholes on the other end of the spectrum. Bedbugs probably, they're little shitheads but right up there with amoeba on the "stimulus/response and no smarter" scale.

              1 Reply Last reply
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              • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                It seems that as a species develops more emphasis on brains, it also produces more assholes.

                Humans? Legendary assholes.
                Dolphins? Assholes.
                Cats are notorious for being jerks.

                Dogs, ducks, geese, seagulls, crows...all have dickish individuals.

                What're some species that would be least likely to solve a crossword puzzle, but still produce a significant percentage of assholes?

                Like are there any shrimp out there that are just little fuckers?

                rupert@mastodon.nzR This user is from outside of this forum
                rupert@mastodon.nzR This user is from outside of this forum
                rupert@mastodon.nz
                wrote last edited by
                #26

                @alice Tarantula hawk wasps paralyse spiders, lay eggs inside them and the larvae eat their way out of the still-living spider.
                Very low intelligence, extreme assholery.

                alice@lgbtqia.spaceA 1 Reply Last reply
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                • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                  It seems that as a species develops more emphasis on brains, it also produces more assholes.

                  Humans? Legendary assholes.
                  Dolphins? Assholes.
                  Cats are notorious for being jerks.

                  Dogs, ducks, geese, seagulls, crows...all have dickish individuals.

                  What're some species that would be least likely to solve a crossword puzzle, but still produce a significant percentage of assholes?

                  Like are there any shrimp out there that are just little fuckers?

                  eleanor@chaosfem.twE This user is from outside of this forum
                  eleanor@chaosfem.twE This user is from outside of this forum
                  eleanor@chaosfem.tw
                  wrote last edited by
                  #27

                  @alice Scorpions are jerks. Most arachnids, including black widows, would prefer to go hide in the shadows rather than confront anything. But scorpions will put that tail up and come after you.

                  1 Reply Last reply
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                  • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                    It seems that as a species develops more emphasis on brains, it also produces more assholes.

                    Humans? Legendary assholes.
                    Dolphins? Assholes.
                    Cats are notorious for being jerks.

                    Dogs, ducks, geese, seagulls, crows...all have dickish individuals.

                    What're some species that would be least likely to solve a crossword puzzle, but still produce a significant percentage of assholes?

                    Like are there any shrimp out there that are just little fuckers?

                    bielsubob@infosec.exchangeB This user is from outside of this forum
                    bielsubob@infosec.exchangeB This user is from outside of this forum
                    bielsubob@infosec.exchange
                    wrote last edited by
                    #28

                    @alice Geese would probably land high on the asshole list.

                    alice@lgbtqia.spaceA 1 Reply Last reply
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                    • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                      It seems that as a species develops more emphasis on brains, it also produces more assholes.

                      Humans? Legendary assholes.
                      Dolphins? Assholes.
                      Cats are notorious for being jerks.

                      Dogs, ducks, geese, seagulls, crows...all have dickish individuals.

                      What're some species that would be least likely to solve a crossword puzzle, but still produce a significant percentage of assholes?

                      Like are there any shrimp out there that are just little fuckers?

                      schrotthaufen@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                      schrotthaufen@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                      schrotthaufen@mastodon.social
                      wrote last edited by
                      #29

                      @alice I think comrade Capybara is quite based. https://time.com/6173837/capybaras-argentina-climate-change/

                      1 Reply Last reply
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                      • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                        It seems that as a species develops more emphasis on brains, it also produces more assholes.

                        Humans? Legendary assholes.
                        Dolphins? Assholes.
                        Cats are notorious for being jerks.

                        Dogs, ducks, geese, seagulls, crows...all have dickish individuals.

                        What're some species that would be least likely to solve a crossword puzzle, but still produce a significant percentage of assholes?

                        Like are there any shrimp out there that are just little fuckers?

                        joshsusser@autistics.lifeJ This user is from outside of this forum
                        joshsusser@autistics.lifeJ This user is from outside of this forum
                        joshsusser@autistics.life
                        wrote last edited by
                        #30

                        @alice probably some species of cichlid. those fish are surprisingly complicated.

                        on the other hand, hermit crabs are so polite that they will line up in order of size to wait for a shell of the right size to become available and then pass an empty shell down the line.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • colesstreetpothole@weatherishappening.networkC colesstreetpothole@weatherishappening.network

                          @ai6yr I feel like a scrub jay could at least partially solve a crossword puzzle, though—that is, before they lit it on your barbecue grill and flew into the dry brush near your house. @alice

                          nickgates@friendsofdesoto.socialN This user is from outside of this forum
                          nickgates@friendsofdesoto.socialN This user is from outside of this forum
                          nickgates@friendsofdesoto.social
                          wrote last edited by
                          #31

                          @ColesStreetPothole @ai6yr @alice the scrub jays are one meeting in a smoky room away from starting a protection racket in my neighborhood

                          nickgates@friendsofdesoto.socialN 1 Reply Last reply
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                          • nickgates@friendsofdesoto.socialN nickgates@friendsofdesoto.social

                            @ColesStreetPothole @ai6yr @alice the scrub jays are one meeting in a smoky room away from starting a protection racket in my neighborhood

                            nickgates@friendsofdesoto.socialN This user is from outside of this forum
                            nickgates@friendsofdesoto.socialN This user is from outside of this forum
                            nickgates@friendsofdesoto.social
                            wrote last edited by
                            #32

                            @ColesStreetPothole @ai6yr @alice "it would be a shame if any of those acorns germinated someplace... inconvenient"

                            "Just take your pay for the month, Don Scrubjay"

                            colesstreetpothole@weatherishappening.networkC 1 Reply Last reply
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                            • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                              @tompearce49 but are they jerks or do they just have the capacity to punch things?

                              bob_zim@infosec.exchangeB This user is from outside of this forum
                              bob_zim@infosec.exchangeB This user is from outside of this forum
                              bob_zim@infosec.exchange
                              wrote last edited by
                              #33

                              @alice @tompearce49 Peacock mantis shrimp are pretty widely considered deserving of their initials.

                              1 Reply Last reply
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                              • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                                One summer while I was wearing shorts, I had a big hornet fly over, bite into the side of my thigh and then proceed to sting me like half a dozen times for no apparent reason.

                                I feel like hornets, wasps, and yellow jackets are all pretty much raging assholes.

                                pascaldragon@metalhead.clubP This user is from outside of this forum
                                pascaldragon@metalhead.clubP This user is from outside of this forum
                                pascaldragon@metalhead.club
                                wrote last edited by
                                #34

                                @alice strange that you had that happen with a hornet 🤔 At least for me I encountered hornets as rather chill and very helpful to keep wasps away 🤔 (they know they're the big kid on the block and don't need to proof it like their smaller cousins 😂)
                                Maybe it's a difference in specific subspecies? My experience is based on the European Hornet 🤔

                                1 Reply Last reply
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                                • nickgates@friendsofdesoto.socialN nickgates@friendsofdesoto.social

                                  @ColesStreetPothole @ai6yr @alice "it would be a shame if any of those acorns germinated someplace... inconvenient"

                                  "Just take your pay for the month, Don Scrubjay"

                                  colesstreetpothole@weatherishappening.networkC This user is from outside of this forum
                                  colesstreetpothole@weatherishappening.networkC This user is from outside of this forum
                                  colesstreetpothole@weatherishappening.network
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #35

                                  @NickGates @ai6yr @alice
                                  Scrubjay Mafia is my new band name. #IMNBN

                                  1 Reply Last reply
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                                  • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                                    It seems that as a species develops more emphasis on brains, it also produces more assholes.

                                    Humans? Legendary assholes.
                                    Dolphins? Assholes.
                                    Cats are notorious for being jerks.

                                    Dogs, ducks, geese, seagulls, crows...all have dickish individuals.

                                    What're some species that would be least likely to solve a crossword puzzle, but still produce a significant percentage of assholes?

                                    Like are there any shrimp out there that are just little fuckers?

                                    kirtai@tech.lgbtK This user is from outside of this forum
                                    kirtai@tech.lgbtK This user is from outside of this forum
                                    kirtai@tech.lgbt
                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #36

                                    @alice
                                    Mantis shrimps?

                                    1 Reply Last reply
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                                    • bob_zim@infosec.exchangeB bob_zim@infosec.exchange

                                      @bruce @MRutenberg @mattblaze @alice I think he meant how wasps will go out of their way to kill bees which aren’t harming or competing with them in any way.

                                      kirtai@tech.lgbtK This user is from outside of this forum
                                      kirtai@tech.lgbtK This user is from outside of this forum
                                      kirtai@tech.lgbt
                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #37

                                      @bob_zim @bruce @MRutenberg @mattblaze @alice
                                      Well, bees are basically vegan, communist wasps.

                                      1 Reply Last reply
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                                      • bob_zim@infosec.exchangeB bob_zim@infosec.exchange

                                        @bruce @MRutenberg @mattblaze @alice I think he meant how wasps will go out of their way to kill bees which aren’t harming or competing with them in any way.

                                        bruce@darkmoon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                                        bruce@darkmoon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                                        bruce@darkmoon.social
                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #38

                                        @bob_zim @MRutenberg @mattblaze @alice

                                        Ah, right. I missed that. 😅

                                        1 Reply Last reply
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                                        • mattblaze@federate.socialM mattblaze@federate.social

                                          @alice Wasps are jerks. Total sociopaths.

                                          plutarch@gotosocial.plutar.chP This user is from outside of this forum
                                          plutarch@gotosocial.plutar.chP This user is from outside of this forum
                                          plutarch@gotosocial.plutar.ch
                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #39

                                          @mattblaze @alice

                                          Except for Tarantula Hawks, which allegedly have the most painful sting of any wasp, however ironically.  The reason why they occasionally act not-sober is because they occasionally consume was-sugar-then-fermented things.  They will literally hit you on the way by because they didn't see you, and become stunned momentarily, and then snap out of it and just continue on their way while ignoring you.  Remember that that thing could ruin your day if it really wanted to.  If you manage to catch it and trap it against your skin, it might.  Otherwise, they simply do not care.  More people need to be more like Tarantula Hawks.

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