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  3. It seems that as a species develops more emphasis on brains, it also produces more assholes.

It seems that as a species develops more emphasis on brains, it also produces more assholes.

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  • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

    It seems that as a species develops more emphasis on brains, it also produces more assholes.

    Humans? Legendary assholes.
    Dolphins? Assholes.
    Cats are notorious for being jerks.

    Dogs, ducks, geese, seagulls, crows...all have dickish individuals.

    What're some species that would be least likely to solve a crossword puzzle, but still produce a significant percentage of assholes?

    Like are there any shrimp out there that are just little fuckers?

    alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
    alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
    alice@lgbtqia.space
    wrote last edited by
    #5

    One summer while I was wearing shorts, I had a big hornet fly over, bite into the side of my thigh and then proceed to sting me like half a dozen times for no apparent reason.

    I feel like hornets, wasps, and yellow jackets are all pretty much raging assholes.

    michaelgemar@cosocial.caM symtrkl@anarres.familyS aura@sunny.gardenA jef@mastodon.socialJ pascaldragon@metalhead.clubP 8 Replies Last reply
    0
    • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

      It seems that as a species develops more emphasis on brains, it also produces more assholes.

      Humans? Legendary assholes.
      Dolphins? Assholes.
      Cats are notorious for being jerks.

      Dogs, ducks, geese, seagulls, crows...all have dickish individuals.

      What're some species that would be least likely to solve a crossword puzzle, but still produce a significant percentage of assholes?

      Like are there any shrimp out there that are just little fuckers?

      colesstreetpothole@weatherishappening.networkC This user is from outside of this forum
      colesstreetpothole@weatherishappening.networkC This user is from outside of this forum
      colesstreetpothole@weatherishappening.network
      wrote last edited by
      #6

      @alice Squirrels. Nature's unintelligent little sociopaths.

      ai6yr@m.ai6yr.orgA 1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

        It seems that as a species develops more emphasis on brains, it also produces more assholes.

        Humans? Legendary assholes.
        Dolphins? Assholes.
        Cats are notorious for being jerks.

        Dogs, ducks, geese, seagulls, crows...all have dickish individuals.

        What're some species that would be least likely to solve a crossword puzzle, but still produce a significant percentage of assholes?

        Like are there any shrimp out there that are just little fuckers?

        promovicz@chaos.socialP This user is from outside of this forum
        promovicz@chaos.socialP This user is from outside of this forum
        promovicz@chaos.social
        wrote last edited by
        #7

        @alice Large Language Mosquito, in symbiosis.

        1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • M mrutenberg@infosec.exchange

          @mattblaze @alice especially with regard to bees

          bruce@darkmoon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
          bruce@darkmoon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
          bruce@darkmoon.social
          wrote last edited by
          #8

          @MRutenberg @mattblaze @alice
          Bees are chill. You leave them alone, they'll leave you alone. Wasps will sting you just because you failed to cross the street when you walked by them. Total jerks.

          bob_zim@infosec.exchangeB ddr@pony.socialD 2 Replies Last reply
          0
          • roknrol@beige.partyR roknrol@beige.party

            @alice Wolverines and badgers are notorious assholes...they don't seem particularly bright to me (but then again, I'm probably speciest)

            What about Octopuses and other types of cuttlefish? They seem to be pretty smart and don't seem to be *particularly* assholish.

            alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
            alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
            alice@lgbtqia.space
            wrote last edited by
            #9

            @roknrol has anyone seen an octopus troll another animal?

            Never mind, https://futurism.com/the-byte/spiteful-octopuses-punch-fish-angry

            roknrol@beige.partyR unlofl@mstdn.socialU 2 Replies Last reply
            0
            • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

              One summer while I was wearing shorts, I had a big hornet fly over, bite into the side of my thigh and then proceed to sting me like half a dozen times for no apparent reason.

              I feel like hornets, wasps, and yellow jackets are all pretty much raging assholes.

              michaelgemar@cosocial.caM This user is from outside of this forum
              michaelgemar@cosocial.caM This user is from outside of this forum
              michaelgemar@cosocial.ca
              wrote last edited by
              #10

              @alice Definitely.

              1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • colesstreetpothole@weatherishappening.networkC colesstreetpothole@weatherishappening.network

                @alice Squirrels. Nature's unintelligent little sociopaths.

                ai6yr@m.ai6yr.orgA This user is from outside of this forum
                ai6yr@m.ai6yr.orgA This user is from outside of this forum
                ai6yr@m.ai6yr.org
                wrote last edited by
                #11

                @ColesStreetPothole @alice Scrub jays. Intelligent, but boy they are mean, hassle every other bird in the yard.

                colesstreetpothole@weatherishappening.networkC 1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                  One summer while I was wearing shorts, I had a big hornet fly over, bite into the side of my thigh and then proceed to sting me like half a dozen times for no apparent reason.

                  I feel like hornets, wasps, and yellow jackets are all pretty much raging assholes.

                  symtrkl@anarres.familyS This user is from outside of this forum
                  symtrkl@anarres.familyS This user is from outside of this forum
                  symtrkl@anarres.family
                  wrote last edited by
                  #12

                  @alice vespids are the americans of pollinators

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                    alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                    alice@lgbtqia.space
                    wrote last edited by
                    #13

                    @tompearce49 but are they jerks or do they just have the capacity to punch things?

                    bob_zim@infosec.exchangeB 1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • bob_zim@infosec.exchangeB This user is from outside of this forum
                      bob_zim@infosec.exchangeB This user is from outside of this forum
                      bob_zim@infosec.exchange
                      wrote last edited by
                      #14

                      @tompearce49 @alice Yes. An animal with three names of other animals, all of which it isn’t. Rude before you even meet one.

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                        @roknrol has anyone seen an octopus troll another animal?

                        Never mind, https://futurism.com/the-byte/spiteful-octopuses-punch-fish-angry

                        roknrol@beige.partyR This user is from outside of this forum
                        roknrol@beige.partyR This user is from outside of this forum
                        roknrol@beige.party
                        wrote last edited by
                        #15

                        @alice Did anyone find out the full story? Maybe those fish had it coming.

                        roknrol@beige.partyR 1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • bruce@darkmoon.socialB bruce@darkmoon.social

                          @MRutenberg @mattblaze @alice
                          Bees are chill. You leave them alone, they'll leave you alone. Wasps will sting you just because you failed to cross the street when you walked by them. Total jerks.

                          bob_zim@infosec.exchangeB This user is from outside of this forum
                          bob_zim@infosec.exchangeB This user is from outside of this forum
                          bob_zim@infosec.exchange
                          wrote last edited by
                          #16

                          @bruce @MRutenberg @mattblaze @alice I think he meant how wasps will go out of their way to kill bees which aren’t harming or competing with them in any way.

                          schrotthaufen@mastodon.socialS kirtai@tech.lgbtK bruce@darkmoon.socialB 3 Replies Last reply
                          0
                          • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                            One summer while I was wearing shorts, I had a big hornet fly over, bite into the side of my thigh and then proceed to sting me like half a dozen times for no apparent reason.

                            I feel like hornets, wasps, and yellow jackets are all pretty much raging assholes.

                            aura@sunny.gardenA This user is from outside of this forum
                            aura@sunny.gardenA This user is from outside of this forum
                            aura@sunny.garden
                            wrote last edited by
                            #17

                            @alice Hornets *especially*. I can usually just ignore a wasp but a hornet is just gonna do as much damage as it can because it hates everything (but mostly me).

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • ai6yr@m.ai6yr.orgA ai6yr@m.ai6yr.org

                              @ColesStreetPothole @alice Scrub jays. Intelligent, but boy they are mean, hassle every other bird in the yard.

                              colesstreetpothole@weatherishappening.networkC This user is from outside of this forum
                              colesstreetpothole@weatherishappening.networkC This user is from outside of this forum
                              colesstreetpothole@weatherishappening.network
                              wrote last edited by
                              #18

                              @ai6yr I feel like a scrub jay could at least partially solve a crossword puzzle, though—that is, before they lit it on your barbecue grill and flew into the dry brush near your house. @alice

                              nickgates@friendsofdesoto.socialN 1 Reply Last reply
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                              • roknrol@beige.partyR roknrol@beige.party

                                @alice Did anyone find out the full story? Maybe those fish had it coming.

                                roknrol@beige.partyR This user is from outside of this forum
                                roknrol@beige.partyR This user is from outside of this forum
                                roknrol@beige.party
                                wrote last edited by
                                #19

                                @alice What about crows and ravens? Are they assholes on purpose or just annoying to humans?

                                alice@lgbtqia.spaceA 1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                                  One summer while I was wearing shorts, I had a big hornet fly over, bite into the side of my thigh and then proceed to sting me like half a dozen times for no apparent reason.

                                  I feel like hornets, wasps, and yellow jackets are all pretty much raging assholes.

                                  jef@mastodon.socialJ This user is from outside of this forum
                                  jef@mastodon.socialJ This user is from outside of this forum
                                  jef@mastodon.social
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #20

                                  @alice A classic from birdsite:

                                  Wild bee: just getting snack
                                  Me: no prob bee

                                  Mason bee: just make house
                                  me: build a way B

                                  Honey bee: jus sampling the lavenders
                                  me: you know i got an assortment

                                  Bumblebee: hey *bonk* I just *bonk* I h
                                  me: *holds flower still*

                                  Wasp: ILL SEE U IN HELL
                                  me: TELL THEM WHO SENT U

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                                    It seems that as a species develops more emphasis on brains, it also produces more assholes.

                                    Humans? Legendary assholes.
                                    Dolphins? Assholes.
                                    Cats are notorious for being jerks.

                                    Dogs, ducks, geese, seagulls, crows...all have dickish individuals.

                                    What're some species that would be least likely to solve a crossword puzzle, but still produce a significant percentage of assholes?

                                    Like are there any shrimp out there that are just little fuckers?

                                    chris@mastodon.chriswiegman.comC This user is from outside of this forum
                                    chris@mastodon.chriswiegman.comC This user is from outside of this forum
                                    chris@mastodon.chriswiegman.com
                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #21

                                    @alice pigeons…. At least if you’re in a city anyway.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • bob_zim@infosec.exchangeB bob_zim@infosec.exchange

                                      @bruce @MRutenberg @mattblaze @alice I think he meant how wasps will go out of their way to kill bees which aren’t harming or competing with them in any way.

                                      schrotthaufen@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                                      schrotthaufen@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                                      schrotthaufen@mastodon.social
                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #22

                                      @bob_zim @bruce @MRutenberg @mattblaze @alice And hornets enslave bees. Super big, genocidal assholes.

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                                        It seems that as a species develops more emphasis on brains, it also produces more assholes.

                                        Humans? Legendary assholes.
                                        Dolphins? Assholes.
                                        Cats are notorious for being jerks.

                                        Dogs, ducks, geese, seagulls, crows...all have dickish individuals.

                                        What're some species that would be least likely to solve a crossword puzzle, but still produce a significant percentage of assholes?

                                        Like are there any shrimp out there that are just little fuckers?

                                        rupert@mastodon.nzR This user is from outside of this forum
                                        rupert@mastodon.nzR This user is from outside of this forum
                                        rupert@mastodon.nz
                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #23

                                        @alice Male sea otters, if they can't find any female otters to rape, will rape baby harbour seals to death.
                                        Yes, otters are quite smart, but this is human, or at least dolphin, level of assholery.

                                        alice@lgbtqia.spaceA 1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                                          It seems that as a species develops more emphasis on brains, it also produces more assholes.

                                          Humans? Legendary assholes.
                                          Dolphins? Assholes.
                                          Cats are notorious for being jerks.

                                          Dogs, ducks, geese, seagulls, crows...all have dickish individuals.

                                          What're some species that would be least likely to solve a crossword puzzle, but still produce a significant percentage of assholes?

                                          Like are there any shrimp out there that are just little fuckers?

                                          ianamartin@thecanadian.socialI This user is from outside of this forum
                                          ianamartin@thecanadian.socialI This user is from outside of this forum
                                          ianamartin@thecanadian.social
                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #24

                                          @alice Horses are smart but can be dickheads.

                                          alice@lgbtqia.spaceA 1 Reply Last reply
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