If you’re holding a hot dog and the person you’re talking to is crying, how long do you have to wait to take a bite?

[steeph@queerchen.de]

@HailsandAles I guess it depends on how salty you like your hot dog.

[jorsh@beige.party]

@HailsandAles

There are two schools of thought on this subject. Regarding the first, you should wait approximately two minutes into their crying before quickly and savagely biting into the hot dog and consuming it. The other is to begin immediately, but draw it out over the course of 30 or so seconds. Really play up the slo-mo effect until it's clear that you have disdain for them and their emotions. Happy trails.

[alipunk@thecanadian.social]

@HailsandAles that made me lol

[soundclamp@mastodon.xyz]

@HailsandAles I think as a gesture of concern you have to offer to share the hot dog or risk the dog trying to snatch it.

[scrottie@bsd.network]

@mikemccaffrey @HailsandAles @Binder "may I offer you a topologically ambagious sandwich in this trying time?"

[cfmg@mastodon.social]

@HailsandAles no wait just eat it

[argonaut@mastodon.social]

@HailsandAles @tayfonay as long as you possibly can for your own good, because biting them will probably make them cry longer and perhaps even harder…

[andthegeekshall@mastodon.social]

@HailsandAles a nanosecond.

[andthegeekshall@mastodon.social]

@HailsandAles time each bite with their sobs.

[mellivora@im-in.space]

@HailsandAles I am a dirtbag and probably am hungry so I'm going to eat that hot dog.

[tlariv@mastodon.cloud]

@HailsandAles
It depends which stand the dog is from and how attached I am to the person.

If it's a fascist and there's not enough celery salt on the dog those tears might just come in handy.

[tjbutt58@infosec.exchange]

@mikemccaffrey @HailsandAles @Binder if they're crying, I'm pretty sure a hot dog won't help.
However...
You can offer them yours, saying, I'll go and get another. Helps assuage any guilt about taking your hot dog.

[kanamauna@sauropods.win]

@HailsandAles

Offer them the hot dog. If they refuse, chomp away.

[ilka4you@mastodon.social]

@HailsandAles depends on why did you make them cry. If it is your 4 year old starving after you picked them up from kindergarden, you better give them your hot dog, if it is an abusing racist/fascist/MAGA idiot & you told him off & kicked him in the nuts, munch away & laugh.

[ryan@m29.us]

@HailsandAles Maintain eye contact with a neutral expression while you listen to them, while slowly bringing the hot dog up to your mouth.

[m3t00@app.wafrn.net]

maybe it's the hotdog

[jlm@mastodon.world]

@HailsandAles
Considering a hot dog is 3 bites for me, the harder they cry more likely I'm finishing my hot dog

[jabsonik@ihan.outo.la]

@HailsandAles @jonne The whole time it takes to slowly lift the hot dog into your mouth while intensely staring straight in the crying person’s eyes.

[axel_hartmann@digitalcourage.social]

@HailsandAles OT - your HDR profile pic is messing with the color scaling of the whole screen (Ice Cube app on iOS). Overall not nice to look at, but cool hack.

[hailsandales@metalhead.club]

@axel_hartmann I don’t even know what this means. It is not intentions and looks normal on my client