I should make a collection of opposite UK safety signs….

[sam@shonk.sam.ax]

@maartje@blahaj.social „The Deutsche Bahn AG greatly values your insecurity. Following a compliment we have received, it is not necessary to leave in the station, do not use the nearest exit“

[jackeric@beige.party]

@eta @maartje if I had a van I'd definitely attach a sticker saying this

[vic@toot.wales]

@maartje "Tools left in this vehicle overnight. So many cool tools."

[mbirth@social.mbirth.uk]

@maartje Not quite in your intended way, but still a great (and actual) opposite sign:

[mario@eupolicy.social]

@maartje I want the French equivalents: "oubliez vos sacs!"

[eval@woof.tech]

@mbirth @maartje I love this one, it threw me every time I went that way

[fiee@literatur.social]

@maartje
“Please talk to the driver”

“Feel free to stick your fingers into the machine.”

“Please block this door.”

“This device is suitable to dry pets and children.” (maybe put this on a towel)

“Fun brake, pull at will.”

[pikesley@mastodon.me.uk]

@maartje

"This van is loaded to the gunnells with exorbitantly expensive tools"

[maartje@blahaj.social]

"Please leave all your personal belongings behind"

[hashbangperl@hachyderm.io]

@maartje This would have to be double sided - one for trains, one for office evacuation / fire drills

[henryk@chaos.social]

@maartje I mean, this is an actual call.

Some time ago I train I was on had an unscheduled stop and the announcement was for everyone to leave the train now, and go *through* the train station building to the other side.
... yep ... A short time later the bomb sniffing dogs arrived.

[blueorangeblue@c.im]

@maartje Running, bombing and petting in the pool is encouraged to ensure a good time

[kbity@chaos.social]

@maartje please leave your luggage unattended at all times. attended items may be removed or destroyed with warning

[maartje@blahaj.social]

“This train will be taken out of passenger service, all stay please… all stay!”

[sam@shonk.sam.ax]

@maartje@blahaj.social „we have not come to an unplanned stop, please do attempt to exit the train“

[emily_s@mastodon.me.uk]

@pikesley @maartje

"This machine knows the difference between metal and flesh, and it does care."

with a nother label under it

"Don't make the machine upset"

[promasu@chaos.social]

@maartje
Did you mean: "May I have your ignorance please, please forget about the gap between the train and the platform"

[peterupfold@fosstodon.org]

@maartje “Please don’t buy a ticket before boarding a train. You will not have to pay a penalty fare, and will not face prosecution”

[pikesley@mastodon.me.uk]

@emily_s @maartje

"It has tasted blood before"

[krnlg@mastodon.social]

@maartje
We're going to the *depot* hell yes