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  3. My son is 11,autistic, and obsessed with Minecraft.

My son is 11,autistic, and obsessed with Minecraft.

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  • crazyeddie@mastodon.socialC crazyeddie@mastodon.social

    @fiend_unpleasant @fesshole I believe you.

    fiend_unpleasant@mastodon.socialF This user is from outside of this forum
    fiend_unpleasant@mastodon.socialF This user is from outside of this forum
    fiend_unpleasant@mastodon.social
    wrote last edited by
    #26

    @crazyeddie @fesshole you should.

    1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • starkrg@myside-yourside.netS starkrg@myside-yourside.net

      @jonm Most of all, give people the time to complete their tasks in the way that best works for them. Deadlines are an unfortunate fact of life, but don't create unnecessary deadlines that just stress people out, and try to plan for both people to be slower and more meticulous and for unforseen delays. You don't need to go all Scotty and quadruple any time estimate, but at least increase it by half if not doubling it.
      (2/2)

      walsonde@antifa.styleW This user is from outside of this forum
      walsonde@antifa.styleW This user is from outside of this forum
      walsonde@antifa.style
      wrote last edited by
      #27

      @StarkRG @jonm I'm autistic. I was told, I were above average good at understanding jural and legal texts. no, I'm just sub average good at understanding ambiguous bullshit, which makes it look like I were outstandingly good at understanding law in comparison. If one wants to not be misunderstood, like people who make laws, it helps to not use ambiguous speech.

      it's a nobrainer really. but still I'm the one with "special needs". 🤷

      walsonde@antifa.styleW 1 Reply Last reply
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      • walsonde@antifa.styleW walsonde@antifa.style

        @StarkRG @jonm I'm autistic. I was told, I were above average good at understanding jural and legal texts. no, I'm just sub average good at understanding ambiguous bullshit, which makes it look like I were outstandingly good at understanding law in comparison. If one wants to not be misunderstood, like people who make laws, it helps to not use ambiguous speech.

        it's a nobrainer really. but still I'm the one with "special needs". 🤷

        walsonde@antifa.styleW This user is from outside of this forum
        walsonde@antifa.styleW This user is from outside of this forum
        walsonde@antifa.style
        wrote last edited by
        #28

        @StarkRG @jonm addendum: it's easier in German culture because we don't need to tiptoe around allegedly hurtful things like saying no. we just say no, when we mean no. I have English relatives and spent a lot of time in England. For me, that's very exhausting because noone says what they mean.

        lizzard@social.tchncs.deL argv_minus_one@mastodon.sdf.orgA 2 Replies Last reply
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        • fesshole@mastodon.socialF fesshole@mastodon.social

          My son is 11,autistic, and obsessed with Minecraft. I manage a team of 4 Database Engineers. At some point I started to talk to them like how the parenting courses told me to communicate with my son and the team morale and overall performance has shot up so much we got an award

          drewtowler@mas.toD This user is from outside of this forum
          drewtowler@mas.toD This user is from outside of this forum
          drewtowler@mas.to
          wrote last edited by
          #29

          @fesshole Wish you'd been my boss back when I had bosses.

          1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • starkrg@myside-yourside.netS starkrg@myside-yourside.net

            @Sturmflut @jonm Increasing days to weeks seems like the kind of thing you'd teach if you don't want to teach how to properly estimate project timelines (or if the person in question is severely time-blind, but it's probably better to just not rely on them to make such estimates in the first place). You need buffer, but telling a client or your boss that a project that you've estimated to take five months is actually going to take a decade is ridiculous. Or a two-year project becomes 4 decades?

            B This user is from outside of this forum
            B This user is from outside of this forum
            barbra@social.vivaldi.net
            wrote last edited by
            #30

            @StarkRG

            And yet, look at how many 2-year projects never get finished after half a decade or more.

            Always double the time estimate, then double again. Helps to get rid of the non-essential "nice to haves" that people keep trying to add "because it won't take that much longer" .

            Because EVERYONE keeps trying to bargain down how long something should take, even though THEY CAN NOT DO IT THEMSELVES.

            Trying to meet unreasonable deadlines, even if you succeed, just adds technical debt. Glad I'm retired, because if there's one thing I've learned, it's that management can't even manage themselves effectively. That's why they went into management. Because only those who can do, do. Those who can't go into management.

            mscheffel@techhub.socialM 1 Reply Last reply
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            • starkrg@myside-yourside.netS starkrg@myside-yourside.net

              @fesshole Wow, clear, unambiguous communication and repeated positive reinforcement works on allistics too? Who ever coulda guessed?

              masukomi@connectified.comM This user is from outside of this forum
              masukomi@connectified.comM This user is from outside of this forum
              masukomi@connectified.com
              wrote last edited by
              #31

              @StarkRG @fesshole "A team of 4 Database Engineers"

              I'd bet good money that at least 3/4ths of them are autistic too.

              It's a pretty effing nerdy discipline to focus on enough to be considered a "database engineer"

              starkrg@myside-yourside.netS 1 Reply Last reply
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              • fesshole@mastodon.socialF fesshole@mastodon.social

                My son is 11,autistic, and obsessed with Minecraft. I manage a team of 4 Database Engineers. At some point I started to talk to them like how the parenting courses told me to communicate with my son and the team morale and overall performance has shot up so much we got an award

                jmcrookston@mastodon.socialJ This user is from outside of this forum
                jmcrookston@mastodon.socialJ This user is from outside of this forum
                jmcrookston@mastodon.social
                wrote last edited by
                #32

                @fesshole

                What does Minecraft have to do with any of this haha

                jmcrookston@mastodon.socialJ 1 Reply Last reply
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                • masukomi@connectified.comM masukomi@connectified.com

                  @StarkRG @fesshole "A team of 4 Database Engineers"

                  I'd bet good money that at least 3/4ths of them are autistic too.

                  It's a pretty effing nerdy discipline to focus on enough to be considered a "database engineer"

                  starkrg@myside-yourside.netS This user is from outside of this forum
                  starkrg@myside-yourside.netS This user is from outside of this forum
                  starkrg@myside-yourside.net
                  wrote last edited by
                  #33

                  @masukomi That's a fair assessment, 3/4 seems like an over estimation though.

                  masukomi@connectified.comM 1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • fesshole@mastodon.socialF fesshole@mastodon.social

                    My son is 11,autistic, and obsessed with Minecraft. I manage a team of 4 Database Engineers. At some point I started to talk to them like how the parenting courses told me to communicate with my son and the team morale and overall performance has shot up so much we got an award

                    S This user is from outside of this forum
                    S This user is from outside of this forum
                    slotos@toot.community
                    wrote last edited by
                    #34

                    @fesshole Are you hiring perchance?

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • starkrg@myside-yourside.netS starkrg@myside-yourside.net

                      @masukomi That's a fair assessment, 3/4 seems like an over estimation though.

                      masukomi@connectified.comM This user is from outside of this forum
                      masukomi@connectified.comM This user is from outside of this forum
                      masukomi@connectified.com
                      wrote last edited by
                      #35

                      @StarkRG I'd agree if there were 40 of them but 4? Considering that the team members are typically highly involved in the hiring of new team members, humans tend to hire people "like us" and autistic people have a completely different communication style it seems highly likely that we'd hire folks who understood how to communicate with us (rarely allistic people) and thus…

                      starkrg@myside-yourside.netS 1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • shadowwwind@fosstodon.orgS shadowwwind@fosstodon.org

                        @fesshole i have heard from teachers, that the special courses they take when they start to teach their first autistic children, help them more to understand and manage all children, than anything they had learned before.

                        bonehousewasps@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                        bonehousewasps@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                        bonehousewasps@mastodon.social
                        wrote last edited by
                        #36

                        @shadowwwind @fesshole I believe it. The work courses I have taken, due to me managing and working with ND people have definitely made me a better parent of my ND kid (maybe kids - we're awaiting assessment).

                        Tbh, I think I'm a better husband, too.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • jmcrookston@mastodon.socialJ jmcrookston@mastodon.social

                          @fesshole

                          What does Minecraft have to do with any of this haha

                          jmcrookston@mastodon.socialJ This user is from outside of this forum
                          jmcrookston@mastodon.socialJ This user is from outside of this forum
                          jmcrookston@mastodon.social
                          wrote last edited by
                          #37

                          @fesshole

                          I kept waiting for him to use a Minecraft analogy with his team to motivate them to beat the dragon or something but nah, Minecraft was just a red herring

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • fesshole@mastodon.socialF fesshole@mastodon.social

                            My son is 11,autistic, and obsessed with Minecraft. I manage a team of 4 Database Engineers. At some point I started to talk to them like how the parenting courses told me to communicate with my son and the team morale and overall performance has shot up so much we got an award

                            masek@infosec.exchangeM This user is from outside of this forum
                            masek@infosec.exchangeM This user is from outside of this forum
                            masek@infosec.exchange
                            wrote last edited by
                            #38

                            @fesshole Not the first time I hear such story. The son of a friend learned about 0-days and log4j also through minecraft and 1000 user server. Got his incident response training at an early age ..,

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • fesshole@mastodon.socialF fesshole@mastodon.social

                              My son is 11,autistic, and obsessed with Minecraft. I manage a team of 4 Database Engineers. At some point I started to talk to them like how the parenting courses told me to communicate with my son and the team morale and overall performance has shot up so much we got an award

                              simontol@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                              simontol@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                              simontol@mastodon.social
                              wrote last edited by
                              #39

                              @fesshole I'm a tech leader of a team of 4 developers. I'm really interested in this kind of communication skills. Is there any written documentation about it?

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • masukomi@connectified.comM masukomi@connectified.com

                                @StarkRG I'd agree if there were 40 of them but 4? Considering that the team members are typically highly involved in the hiring of new team members, humans tend to hire people "like us" and autistic people have a completely different communication style it seems highly likely that we'd hire folks who understood how to communicate with us (rarely allistic people) and thus…

                                starkrg@myside-yourside.netS This user is from outside of this forum
                                starkrg@myside-yourside.netS This user is from outside of this forum
                                starkrg@myside-yourside.net
                                wrote last edited by
                                #40

                                @masukomi I don't think lower-management often get very involved in the hiring process. I suspect their bosses would do the hiring, and then assign the new employees to various teams. The closest that person probably gets to hiring someone is asking their boss for an extra hand for half the week.

                                masukomi@connectified.comM drwho@masto.hackers.townD 2 Replies Last reply
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                                • fesshole@mastodon.socialF fesshole@mastodon.social

                                  My son is 11,autistic, and obsessed with Minecraft. I manage a team of 4 Database Engineers. At some point I started to talk to them like how the parenting courses told me to communicate with my son and the team morale and overall performance has shot up so much we got an award

                                  grumpydad@infosec.exchangeG This user is from outside of this forum
                                  grumpydad@infosec.exchangeG This user is from outside of this forum
                                  grumpydad@infosec.exchange
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #41

                                  @fesshole That says a lot about your team tbh

                                  1 Reply Last reply
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                                  • crazyeddie@mastodon.socialC crazyeddie@mastodon.social

                                    @fiend_unpleasant @fesshole That's actually a really unkind thing to say.

                                    lizzard@social.tchncs.deL This user is from outside of this forum
                                    lizzard@social.tchncs.deL This user is from outside of this forum
                                    lizzard@social.tchncs.de
                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #42

                                    @crazyeddie @fiend_unpleasant @fesshole why, do you see autism as something bad?

                                    fiend_unpleasant@mastodon.socialF 1 Reply Last reply
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                                    • lizzard@social.tchncs.deL lizzard@social.tchncs.de

                                      @crazyeddie @fiend_unpleasant @fesshole why, do you see autism as something bad?

                                      fiend_unpleasant@mastodon.socialF This user is from outside of this forum
                                      fiend_unpleasant@mastodon.socialF This user is from outside of this forum
                                      fiend_unpleasant@mastodon.social
                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #43

                                      @lizzard @crazyeddie @fesshole I have never seen autism as bad. However, I do see at there are some jobs that near perfect for certain types of autism. Database Engineers are often "spreadsheet autists" that found a good way to use that special skill they have to their advantage financially.

                                      I was just unwilling to discuss it with some queef who was offended and wanted to make it my problem without creating a dialogue like you have here.

                                      lizzard@social.tchncs.deL 1 Reply Last reply
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                                      • fiend_unpleasant@mastodon.socialF fiend_unpleasant@mastodon.social

                                        @lizzard @crazyeddie @fesshole I have never seen autism as bad. However, I do see at there are some jobs that near perfect for certain types of autism. Database Engineers are often "spreadsheet autists" that found a good way to use that special skill they have to their advantage financially.

                                        I was just unwilling to discuss it with some queef who was offended and wanted to make it my problem without creating a dialogue like you have here.

                                        lizzard@social.tchncs.deL This user is from outside of this forum
                                        lizzard@social.tchncs.deL This user is from outside of this forum
                                        lizzard@social.tchncs.de
                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #44

                                        @fiend_unpleasant @crazyeddie @fesshole yeah, I meant them. I got what you were trying to say, and totally agree: the IT world has more than the average proportion of autistic people.

                                        fiend_unpleasant@mastodon.socialF fishidwardrobe@mastodon.me.ukF 2 Replies Last reply
                                        0
                                        • lizzard@social.tchncs.deL lizzard@social.tchncs.de

                                          @fiend_unpleasant @crazyeddie @fesshole yeah, I meant them. I got what you were trying to say, and totally agree: the IT world has more than the average proportion of autistic people.

                                          fiend_unpleasant@mastodon.socialF This user is from outside of this forum
                                          fiend_unpleasant@mastodon.socialF This user is from outside of this forum
                                          fiend_unpleasant@mastodon.social
                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #45

                                          @lizzard @crazyeddie @fesshole Ope, I'm usually the one being questioned. Carry on then.

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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