I'm going to repost a #TransFemmeClothing thread for that I originally posted a long time ago on another server.
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And, as much as this sucks, you have to try on A LOT of pants before you find a single pair that works. If you're tall like me, it's even harder, because everything is sized for the average woman's height. But there are some gems I've found.
The first is Alloy Apparel. They specialize in clothes for tall women, and at 6'3" without any hips, I can say that their high-waisted skinny jeans are to die for!
Tall Clothing for Tall Women & Girls
Shop the latest trends in extended sizes, long inseams and curvy options without extended prices! Alloy is known as the Tall Girl destination for fashion-forward denim, pants, stylish jumpsuits, chic dresses, and tops at affordable prices.
Alloy Apparel (www.alloyapparel.com)
Another place for tall women is Long Tall Sally. I still have the first pair of jeans I bought from them. Another high-waisted pair. https://www.longtallsally.com/
Note, with Brexit and the US turning into the nation-state equivalent of an angry toddler, shipping across lines has gotten a bit problematic, and American Tall is another place that’s was suggested, though I haven’t shopped with them. https://americantall.com
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Another place for tall women is Long Tall Sally. I still have the first pair of jeans I bought from them. Another high-waisted pair. https://www.longtallsally.com/
Note, with Brexit and the US turning into the nation-state equivalent of an angry toddler, shipping across lines has gotten a bit problematic, and American Tall is another place that’s was suggested, though I haven’t shopped with them. https://americantall.com
Also, go high waisted. Always.
Sometimes I forget this and go low-waisted and it's a mistake. Sadly, T makes our body shape in the mid-section less than workable for low-waisted jeans, and that's a pretty dysphoric look. It accents the boy belly.
But high-waisted pulls that in a bit and changes the look. It looks more like a femme paunch, and if you're like me, you're totally cool with having that bit of femme in your look.
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Also, go high waisted. Always.
Sometimes I forget this and go low-waisted and it's a mistake. Sadly, T makes our body shape in the mid-section less than workable for low-waisted jeans, and that's a pretty dysphoric look. It accents the boy belly.
But high-waisted pulls that in a bit and changes the look. It looks more like a femme paunch, and if you're like me, you're totally cool with having that bit of femme in your look.
Now, some things to keep in mind when shopping for jeans:
Women's clothes are not made of cardboard.
Those old men’s 501 jeans you buy and live in are a COMPLETELY different animal. Women's jeans, like women's T-shirts, and women's anything else, are thinner, softer, and definitely not "rugged."
You're going to think of them as "cheap," "flimsy," and "low-quality." But let me flip that. They are not (well, they sort of are, but that’s a whole other essay), they are feminine.
And when you wear them, you will likely feel A LOT more feminine… this is a good thing.
This is obviously mostly for the HRT crowd, but women's clothing is weirdly made for women's skin…and women's skin is thinner, softer, and drier. Women's clothing sits against that skin better. Don't think of it as "cheaper" but rather as "more comfortable." Because, at least to me, it really is.
Putting on a pair of men's jeans feels like wearing burlap, now. Like, it literally hurts.
Another thing to remember is women's jeans are cut…well…for women.
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Now, some things to keep in mind when shopping for jeans:
Women's clothes are not made of cardboard.
Those old men’s 501 jeans you buy and live in are a COMPLETELY different animal. Women's jeans, like women's T-shirts, and women's anything else, are thinner, softer, and definitely not "rugged."
You're going to think of them as "cheap," "flimsy," and "low-quality." But let me flip that. They are not (well, they sort of are, but that’s a whole other essay), they are feminine.
And when you wear them, you will likely feel A LOT more feminine… this is a good thing.
This is obviously mostly for the HRT crowd, but women's clothing is weirdly made for women's skin…and women's skin is thinner, softer, and drier. Women's clothing sits against that skin better. Don't think of it as "cheaper" but rather as "more comfortable." Because, at least to me, it really is.
Putting on a pair of men's jeans feels like wearing burlap, now. Like, it literally hurts.
Another thing to remember is women's jeans are cut…well…for women.
Women's jeans are also meant to be tight. And straight talk: You probably have a penis, and very possibly have balls. That's a hefty wad of packaged meat in between your legs packed into tight jeans.
Women don't have this, so their jeans are not cut to "hold" it. So either you tuck or, if you're like me and can't, you stretch the crotch out. There's not an option here. Tight jeans without a crotch paired with 3/4 pounds of beef is going to cause some stretch problems.
Is a stretched crotch a reason to not wear women's jeans? No way. Not to me. I just know that my early jeans are… "sacrificial".
Women's jeans just make me feel better.
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Women's jeans are also meant to be tight. And straight talk: You probably have a penis, and very possibly have balls. That's a hefty wad of packaged meat in between your legs packed into tight jeans.
Women don't have this, so their jeans are not cut to "hold" it. So either you tuck or, if you're like me and can't, you stretch the crotch out. There's not an option here. Tight jeans without a crotch paired with 3/4 pounds of beef is going to cause some stretch problems.
Is a stretched crotch a reason to not wear women's jeans? No way. Not to me. I just know that my early jeans are… "sacrificial".
Women's jeans just make me feel better.
So, here it is is the Trans Femme Uniform for the first…oh, 8 months of my transition:
Plain, one color, v-neck women's T-shirt
High-waisted women's jeans
That's it. That's ALL I changed. I wore jeans and T-shirts before, and I wore them for 8 months after.
And NOBODY said ANYTHING. Most people never even noticed, or they told me “You look so nice!”
You can make these changes TODAY.
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So, here it is is the Trans Femme Uniform for the first…oh, 8 months of my transition:
Plain, one color, v-neck women's T-shirt
High-waisted women's jeans
That's it. That's ALL I changed. I wore jeans and T-shirts before, and I wore them for 8 months after.
And NOBODY said ANYTHING. Most people never even noticed, or they told me “You look so nice!”
You can make these changes TODAY.
This is what I now affectionately call The Plausibly Deniable Femme Uniform, after another, more experienced, Trans woman saw me in it and said that I wasn't branching out and was only wearing clothes that were "plausibly deniable."
But that's the thing, there was a power in that I desperately needed. The ability to wear actual women's clothing, and not fall on my face. I didn't have to wear a skirt, I didn't have a flowered shirt. I had basically the same clothes as before, just girl style.
The Plausably Deniable Femme Uniform allowed me to do two things:
Wear women's clothing everyday and start to crawl out of my dysphoria shell
Experiment with other directions safely, while having a solid and safe base to work on.
For instance… shoes!!
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This is what I now affectionately call The Plausibly Deniable Femme Uniform, after another, more experienced, Trans woman saw me in it and said that I wasn't branching out and was only wearing clothes that were "plausibly deniable."
But that's the thing, there was a power in that I desperately needed. The ability to wear actual women's clothing, and not fall on my face. I didn't have to wear a skirt, I didn't have a flowered shirt. I had basically the same clothes as before, just girl style.
The Plausably Deniable Femme Uniform allowed me to do two things:
Wear women's clothing everyday and start to crawl out of my dysphoria shell
Experiment with other directions safely, while having a solid and safe base to work on.
For instance… shoes!!
Wearing just jeans and a t-shirt, I was comfortable, I was safe, I was femme but not dangerously femme.
Then I started looking at shoes.
Well, I published a whole-ass essay about women's shoes, but suffice it to say… Sorry babe, it's back to the gates of hell for you.
Same deal as pants. Women told me how they will try on 20 pairs of shoes, all in the same size, and maybe find one that fits. It's a nightmare.
Made worse by T, which gives you huge women's sizes.
Women's shoe sizes are basically 2 US/UK numbers above men's sizes. There are dozens of conversion tables out there. Get familiar.
Measure your feet by putting your heel against a wall on a piece of paper and holding a narrow pen at your big toe. Get the size in centimeters and look it up.
Then realize that, unless you're really lucky, you will never see this size in a women's shoe department.
Gates.
Of.
Hell. -
Wearing just jeans and a t-shirt, I was comfortable, I was safe, I was femme but not dangerously femme.
Then I started looking at shoes.
Well, I published a whole-ass essay about women's shoes, but suffice it to say… Sorry babe, it's back to the gates of hell for you.
Same deal as pants. Women told me how they will try on 20 pairs of shoes, all in the same size, and maybe find one that fits. It's a nightmare.
Made worse by T, which gives you huge women's sizes.
Women's shoe sizes are basically 2 US/UK numbers above men's sizes. There are dozens of conversion tables out there. Get familiar.
Measure your feet by putting your heel against a wall on a piece of paper and holding a narrow pen at your big toe. Get the size in centimeters and look it up.
Then realize that, unless you're really lucky, you will never see this size in a women's shoe department.
Gates.
Of.
Hell.You're size is going to be anything from a full size below that to a full size above. It sucks, but you just have to look keep trying.
But, there is hope! I have really enormous feet (14-15), but I've found that Torrid has decent shoes up to a 15. And they're good shoes.
I tried 7 pairs of 14s, all too small. Then I bought these cute booties I found because I fit in a 13 wide from Torrid.
The 14s were too big, but the 13 fit, but I’m a size 14-15. Why? I DON'T KNOW! WOMEN'S SIZING IS DUMB!!
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You're size is going to be anything from a full size below that to a full size above. It sucks, but you just have to look keep trying.
But, there is hope! I have really enormous feet (14-15), but I've found that Torrid has decent shoes up to a 15. And they're good shoes.
I tried 7 pairs of 14s, all too small. Then I bought these cute booties I found because I fit in a 13 wide from Torrid.
The 14s were too big, but the 13 fit, but I’m a size 14-15. Why? I DON'T KNOW! WOMEN'S SIZING IS DUMB!!
Another great place I've recently bought shoes was Inkkas. They have 14 and 15 in more casual/hiking shoes, which I could not find elsewhere. And all of their stuff is cute! The thing about Inkkas is that it’s totally Plausible Deniability. You can wear those with any man’s clothing and nobody would notice.
I bought a women's 14 in a hiking boot and even though I'm a wide in most women's shoes, they fit snug but comfortable.
inkkas® | Handcrafted for Adventure ☺︎
Handcrafted footwear made for everyday adventure. Every pair features bold artistry and all-day comfort. Over half a million trees planted. Free US shipping over $150, easy returns, worldwide shipping.
Inkkas (inkkas.com)
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Another great place I've recently bought shoes was Inkkas. They have 14 and 15 in more casual/hiking shoes, which I could not find elsewhere. And all of their stuff is cute! The thing about Inkkas is that it’s totally Plausible Deniability. You can wear those with any man’s clothing and nobody would notice.
I bought a women's 14 in a hiking boot and even though I'm a wide in most women's shoes, they fit snug but comfortable.
inkkas® | Handcrafted for Adventure ☺︎
Handcrafted footwear made for everyday adventure. Every pair features bold artistry and all-day comfort. Over half a million trees planted. Free US shipping over $150, easy returns, worldwide shipping.
Inkkas (inkkas.com)
Finally, someone in the original thread pointed out that Tresolz.com is good, and carries up to size 16 shoes. I have not used them but definitely want to because they look like Black Girl Magic.
Large Size Women's Shoes
Stylish shoes that ACTUALLY FIT women with plus size or large feet. We carry trendy, wide width shoes in sizes 9.5 to 16. We are proud to be Canadian-owned, Black-owned, and Women-owned. From everyday wear to special occasion shoes, you are sure to find something beautiful for work, weddings, or the grocery store!
Trèsolz (tresolz.com)
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Finally, someone in the original thread pointed out that Tresolz.com is good, and carries up to size 16 shoes. I have not used them but definitely want to because they look like Black Girl Magic.
Large Size Women's Shoes
Stylish shoes that ACTUALLY FIT women with plus size or large feet. We carry trendy, wide width shoes in sizes 9.5 to 16. We are proud to be Canadian-owned, Black-owned, and Women-owned. From everyday wear to special occasion shoes, you are sure to find something beautiful for work, weddings, or the grocery store!
Trèsolz (tresolz.com)
This is The Plausibly Deniable Femme Uniform.
Plain, one color, woman's V-neck T-shirt
Women's high waist jean's
A pair of Inkkas sneakers.
That's it. Lean on it. Wear it. Get comfortable in it. You want this to be your every day uniform. Because once it's comfortable, trying other things is not "a whole outfit," it's just trying one thing.
After a while, you will be comfortable wearing ALL WOMAN’S CLOTHES. You want to try a more blouse-style shirt? It’s just ONE THING. You want to try dangly earrings? It’s just ONE THING.
You have the uniform as a safe home base. And can take small steps from there. I can’t wait to see what you try next.
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@FinalGirl Another I do a lot for my butch self is just do androgynous shoes like Converse or Toms or whatever. Everyone wears those and the men's and women's look the same. For Converse, I put in fun shoelaces - currently rainbow ones
Okay so adding @JessTheUnstill's suggestion to #TransFemmeClothing because Converse is a great option and has our sizes.
They also have knee-high boot style, which are SO CUUUUUTE!
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4 years ago, I was still trying to convince myself I was not Trans. A year and a half later, I met a newly out Trans woman at Target wearing a skirt and ballet flats. Today, I’m seen as the high femme woman in my office who always dresses classy and stylish.
That didn't happen all at once. There was a progression I made that I thought might be helpful… And there are certain places I've found clothes. (Follow the thread for more details, Now with Links!)
Most of all, there was…time. You don’t get to your style (whatever that is), by just picking a style and doing it. You pick it by trying things, trying them again, and making mistakes.
@FinalGirl Kyle can both do more push-ups and dance with more grace. He’s almost always in his dark grey uniform, simple and handsome, unbothered with aesthetic complications. Jay-Den doesn’t know why he can’t be the same. Why he chose a skirt when all his male friends chose pants. Why he wants more skirts. Why, accidentally stumbling on the digital lingerie storefront, he couldn’t move on.
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The first thing I did was wear women's T-shirts. I changed nothing but what type of T-shirts I wear. I traded in my men's T-shirts for boring women's T-shirts. That's it. Same shoes, same jeans, same everything.
Seems dumb? It's not.
First of all, women's T-shirts are cut different. But they are also colored different and they feel different. And that last part was important to me–ESPECIALLY since I started this after starting estrogen.
If you haven’t done HRT and are planning to… realize that your men’s clothes will straight up HURT on estrogen. They feel like wearing burlap and sandpaper. Women’s cloths are just… softer, lighter, thinner. They feel very different. And that slight difference was huge for my mental health. They made me feel more femme.
And the best part: nobody noticed or cared that I was wearing a woman's T-shirt. But I did.
@FinalGirl girllll the tees thing is sooo real!! I can’t skate in my old oversized skate shirts without something under anymore T-T
Painful!!!
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This is The Plausibly Deniable Femme Uniform.
Plain, one color, woman's V-neck T-shirt
Women's high waist jean's
A pair of Inkkas sneakers.
That's it. Lean on it. Wear it. Get comfortable in it. You want this to be your every day uniform. Because once it's comfortable, trying other things is not "a whole outfit," it's just trying one thing.
After a while, you will be comfortable wearing ALL WOMAN’S CLOTHES. You want to try a more blouse-style shirt? It’s just ONE THING. You want to try dangly earrings? It’s just ONE THING.
You have the uniform as a safe home base. And can take small steps from there. I can’t wait to see what you try next.
@FinalGirl or u can go my right route
pile of trash thats plausibly a girl
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@FinalGirl or u can go my right route
pile of trash thats plausibly a girl
@FinalGirl wanna try hoops. dont Im white
how about knee socks throw em on the pile
leg warmers AT SAME TIME
crop top over turtle kneck "DO IT"
everything drips off the pile
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This is The Plausibly Deniable Femme Uniform.
Plain, one color, woman's V-neck T-shirt
Women's high waist jean's
A pair of Inkkas sneakers.
That's it. Lean on it. Wear it. Get comfortable in it. You want this to be your every day uniform. Because once it's comfortable, trying other things is not "a whole outfit," it's just trying one thing.
After a while, you will be comfortable wearing ALL WOMAN’S CLOTHES. You want to try a more blouse-style shirt? It’s just ONE THING. You want to try dangly earrings? It’s just ONE THING.
You have the uniform as a safe home base. And can take small steps from there. I can’t wait to see what you try next.
I was playing soccer and running a lot and bought womens running shoes (I do have smallish feet about size 10 women's, which are basically indistinguishable from mens) and football
boots. Which I knew but no one else did. Same thing for wearing a sports bra (which was necessary way early into HRT, sadly for chaffing rather than bouncing reasons).I also wore women's pajamas and slippers at home. Just those little bits helped so much when came to being comfortable wearing women's stuff.
I did go jeans before tshirts. But I'd bought and worn women's jeans before as a dude so sorta had an idea what I wanted. And I also did the converse/Vans/Birks/Docs shoes for a long time.
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This is The Plausibly Deniable Femme Uniform.
Plain, one color, woman's V-neck T-shirt
Women's high waist jean's
A pair of Inkkas sneakers.
That's it. Lean on it. Wear it. Get comfortable in it. You want this to be your every day uniform. Because once it's comfortable, trying other things is not "a whole outfit," it's just trying one thing.
After a while, you will be comfortable wearing ALL WOMAN’S CLOTHES. You want to try a more blouse-style shirt? It’s just ONE THING. You want to try dangly earrings? It’s just ONE THING.
You have the uniform as a safe home base. And can take small steps from there. I can’t wait to see what you try next.
@FinalGirl plain v-neck, high waisted pants..... if you threw converse in there I'd accuse you of describing me perfectly xD
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@FinalGirl plain v-neck, high waisted pants..... if you threw converse in there I'd accuse you of describing me perfectly xD
*quiet cough
Tyrell Gen-8 Pleasurebot (@FinalGirl@blackqueer.life)
Okay so adding @JessTheUnstill@infosec.exchange's suggestion to #TransFemmeClothing because Converse is a great option and has our sizes. They also have knee-high boot style, which are SO CUUUUUTE! https://www.converse.com/shop/p/custom-chuck-taylor-all-star-xxhi-by-you-unisex-high-top-shoe/A17528CSU26.html
BlackQueerLife (blackqueer.life)
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*quiet cough
Tyrell Gen-8 Pleasurebot (@FinalGirl@blackqueer.life)
Okay so adding @JessTheUnstill@infosec.exchange's suggestion to #TransFemmeClothing because Converse is a great option and has our sizes. They also have knee-high boot style, which are SO CUUUUUTE! https://www.converse.com/shop/p/custom-chuck-taylor-all-star-xxhi-by-you-unisex-high-top-shoe/A17528CSU26.html
BlackQueerLife (blackqueer.life)
@FinalGirl
perfection 
