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  3. Bullies like to say that "might makes right" but they don't *really* want to live by those words.

Bullies like to say that "might makes right" but they don't *really* want to live by those words.

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  • futurebird@sauropods.winF futurebird@sauropods.win

    Simply fighting back will send a bully into a fit of confusion and fear.

    This is why the redistricting fight was so effective.

    "But YOU aren't supposed to be like this. You always follow the rules and norms."

    Bullies count on us being more in love with our own moral standing than protecting the people we care about. That's a big mistake with me at least.

    paraendroid@chaos.socialP This user is from outside of this forum
    paraendroid@chaos.socialP This user is from outside of this forum
    paraendroid@chaos.social
    wrote last edited by
    #8

    @futurebird
    If I fight back, it is because of my moral standing. If I don't fight back, it's because I think it is against the rules or because I fear the consequences or I just don't want to get involved.

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    • futurebird@sauropods.winF futurebird@sauropods.win

      Simply fighting back will send a bully into a fit of confusion and fear.

      This is why the redistricting fight was so effective.

      "But YOU aren't supposed to be like this. You always follow the rules and norms."

      Bullies count on us being more in love with our own moral standing than protecting the people we care about. That's a big mistake with me at least.

      apontious@dice.campA This user is from outside of this forum
      apontious@dice.campA This user is from outside of this forum
      apontious@dice.camp
      wrote last edited by
      #9

      @futurebird The next day after I heard about the California redestricting effort, I got a placard by some earnest-sounding organization full of quotes from patsy Democrats — and maybe Schwarzenegger? — bemoaning the lack of principles of it all.

      They were all ready to thwart it with the usual dirty tricks.

      Glad it failed!

      1 Reply Last reply
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      • futurebird@sauropods.winF futurebird@sauropods.win

        Bullies like to say that "might makes right" but they don't *really* want to live by those words.

        The entire meta of being a bully is based on targeting the weakest people to show that you *might* not follow the same rules as everyone else if you don't get your way. Your transgression, your disregard for social order scares the mass of people into simply giving you what you want **without a fight.**

        As soon as people start fighting back? Bullies loose. They are outnumbered.

        cjpaloma@mstdn.socialC This user is from outside of this forum
        cjpaloma@mstdn.socialC This user is from outside of this forum
        cjpaloma@mstdn.social
        wrote last edited by
        #10

        @futurebird sure, they rely heavily on intimidation factors: "be compliant, or else,"

        but they often DO follow through (enough), so that real harm or starting from a very disadvantaged position is a very real part of it.

        I think all of us born into cultures built on colonization, which NECESSARILY normalized authoritarian based assumptions/values (even while mouthing democracy based values as well) have a difficult time "getting" just how many authoritarian based notions we live with

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        • kechpaja@social.kechpaja.comK kechpaja@social.kechpaja.com

          @RogerBW

          @futurebird I don't think this contradicts what OP said, it's just a slightly more complex strategy for doing the same thing (by manipulating authority into helping with the bullying and/or taking advantage of the fact that authority is often a bully itself).

          cjpaloma@mstdn.socialC This user is from outside of this forum
          cjpaloma@mstdn.socialC This user is from outside of this forum
          cjpaloma@mstdn.social
          wrote last edited by
          #11

          @kechpaja @RogerBW @futurebird

          Slightly? -not- trying to be rude, but it's kind of like saying billionaires use slightly more complex strategies to hoard money than other people.

          They use -a bunch- of sophisticated strategies to rig entire systems.

          Unfortunately people can get really GOOD at all kinds of things. They'll even form extensive and pretty sophisticated groups of bullies...

          Authoritarians ALL want to hoard power and control -they are driven towards it. So they get good at it.

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          • futurebird@sauropods.winF futurebird@sauropods.win

            Simply fighting back will send a bully into a fit of confusion and fear.

            This is why the redistricting fight was so effective.

            "But YOU aren't supposed to be like this. You always follow the rules and norms."

            Bullies count on us being more in love with our own moral standing than protecting the people we care about. That's a big mistake with me at least.

            ireneista@adhd.irenes.spaceI This user is from outside of this forum
            ireneista@adhd.irenes.spaceI This user is from outside of this forum
            ireneista@adhd.irenes.space
            wrote last edited by
            #12

            @futurebird yeah our version of this for ourselves is, not everybody gets to be pure. heh.

            ireneista@adhd.irenes.spaceI jesstheunstill@infosec.exchangeJ 2 Replies Last reply
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            • ireneista@adhd.irenes.spaceI ireneista@adhd.irenes.space

              @futurebird yeah our version of this for ourselves is, not everybody gets to be pure. heh.

              ireneista@adhd.irenes.spaceI This user is from outside of this forum
              ireneista@adhd.irenes.spaceI This user is from outside of this forum
              ireneista@adhd.irenes.space
              wrote last edited by
              #13

              @futurebird (though we worry about that inadvertently promoting elitist narratives or overly hierarchical theories of change, and don't encourage mass adoption of it as a slogan)

              toolbear@tech.lgbtT 1 Reply Last reply
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              • futurebird@sauropods.winF futurebird@sauropods.win

                Simply fighting back will send a bully into a fit of confusion and fear.

                This is why the redistricting fight was so effective.

                "But YOU aren't supposed to be like this. You always follow the rules and norms."

                Bullies count on us being more in love with our own moral standing than protecting the people we care about. That's a big mistake with me at least.

                jesstheunstill@infosec.exchangeJ This user is from outside of this forum
                jesstheunstill@infosec.exchangeJ This user is from outside of this forum
                jesstheunstill@infosec.exchange
                wrote last edited by
                #14

                @futurebird I'll admit, I've long cheered on non-partisan redistricting laws to try and draw things as fair as possible, even if it meant that the red states fucked around with shit and got advantages. Because I like fairness. But now that SCOTUS has said the VRA is all but dead, and there's no relief from the courts to be sought, and they're just going to blatantly steal seats in the middle of the decade? Yeah fuck that shit.

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                • ireneista@adhd.irenes.spaceI ireneista@adhd.irenes.space

                  @futurebird yeah our version of this for ourselves is, not everybody gets to be pure. heh.

                  jesstheunstill@infosec.exchangeJ This user is from outside of this forum
                  jesstheunstill@infosec.exchangeJ This user is from outside of this forum
                  jesstheunstill@infosec.exchange
                  wrote last edited by
                  #15

                  @ireneista @futurebird The "they go low, we go high" doesn't work when your opponents don't have any shame and a majority of voters either cheer on the sucker punching or at least don't mind the fact that it's happening.

                  The only winning move is to race to the bottom.

                  ireneista@adhd.irenes.spaceI futurebird@sauropods.winF 2 Replies Last reply
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                  • jesstheunstill@infosec.exchangeJ jesstheunstill@infosec.exchange

                    @ireneista @futurebird The "they go low, we go high" doesn't work when your opponents don't have any shame and a majority of voters either cheer on the sucker punching or at least don't mind the fact that it's happening.

                    The only winning move is to race to the bottom.

                    ireneista@adhd.irenes.spaceI This user is from outside of this forum
                    ireneista@adhd.irenes.spaceI This user is from outside of this forum
                    ireneista@adhd.irenes.space
                    wrote last edited by
                    #16

                    @JessTheUnstill @futurebird at the same time, the means do become the ends and we always have to actively ask ourselves, if we win using these tactics, what world will that create, will it embody justice?

                    whatever we do to create a new status quo, we'll be periodically obligated to re-enact it as long as the status quo lasts, and we shouldn't pretend otherwise.

                    ireneista@adhd.irenes.spaceI 1 Reply Last reply
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                    • ireneista@adhd.irenes.spaceI ireneista@adhd.irenes.space

                      @JessTheUnstill @futurebird at the same time, the means do become the ends and we always have to actively ask ourselves, if we win using these tactics, what world will that create, will it embody justice?

                      whatever we do to create a new status quo, we'll be periodically obligated to re-enact it as long as the status quo lasts, and we shouldn't pretend otherwise.

                      ireneista@adhd.irenes.spaceI This user is from outside of this forum
                      ireneista@adhd.irenes.spaceI This user is from outside of this forum
                      ireneista@adhd.irenes.space
                      wrote last edited by
                      #17

                      @JessTheUnstill @futurebird it's just... none of those concerns should stop us from considering things. they're part of it, but only part.

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                      • futurebird@sauropods.winF futurebird@sauropods.win

                        Simply fighting back will send a bully into a fit of confusion and fear.

                        This is why the redistricting fight was so effective.

                        "But YOU aren't supposed to be like this. You always follow the rules and norms."

                        Bullies count on us being more in love with our own moral standing than protecting the people we care about. That's a big mistake with me at least.

                        canuckistanbob@cosocial.caC This user is from outside of this forum
                        canuckistanbob@cosocial.caC This user is from outside of this forum
                        canuckistanbob@cosocial.ca
                        wrote last edited by
                        #18

                        @futurebird
                        Bullies also think you are scared of taking a punch and will chicken out. Because THEY are scared of taking a punch.

                        And they might be right too.

                        Best cure for that is actually taking a punch. Getting punched in the face isn't fun, but it might be a lot less bad than you fear. You might find it more energizing than painful.

                        In my experience, bullies though, when they actually do get punched back, cry a lot.

                        canuckistanbob@cosocial.caC 1 Reply Last reply
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                        • canuckistanbob@cosocial.caC canuckistanbob@cosocial.ca

                          @futurebird
                          Bullies also think you are scared of taking a punch and will chicken out. Because THEY are scared of taking a punch.

                          And they might be right too.

                          Best cure for that is actually taking a punch. Getting punched in the face isn't fun, but it might be a lot less bad than you fear. You might find it more energizing than painful.

                          In my experience, bullies though, when they actually do get punched back, cry a lot.

                          canuckistanbob@cosocial.caC This user is from outside of this forum
                          canuckistanbob@cosocial.caC This user is from outside of this forum
                          canuckistanbob@cosocial.ca
                          wrote last edited by
                          #19

                          @futurebird
                          (For the literal minded: "punch" here is metaphorical for "fight back," and not an argument for violence.)

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                          • jesstheunstill@infosec.exchangeJ jesstheunstill@infosec.exchange

                            @ireneista @futurebird The "they go low, we go high" doesn't work when your opponents don't have any shame and a majority of voters either cheer on the sucker punching or at least don't mind the fact that it's happening.

                            The only winning move is to race to the bottom.

                            futurebird@sauropods.winF This user is from outside of this forum
                            futurebird@sauropods.winF This user is from outside of this forum
                            futurebird@sauropods.win
                            wrote last edited by
                            #20

                            @JessTheUnstill @ireneista

                            I think this is also playing a role in the "it's fake" response to this shooting. It's not so much that anyone wants to make up a elaborate theory about how it was staged, it's more a desire not to be jerked around emotionally again.

                            These very grim events are just media games and exploited so quickly and cynically it makes me feel like a chump to sit here going "I agree political violence is wrong"

                            It's fake. I'm not playing along. Have fun.

                            futurebird@sauropods.winF ireneista@adhd.irenes.spaceI gaditb@icosahedron.websiteG 3 Replies Last reply
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                            • futurebird@sauropods.winF futurebird@sauropods.win

                              @JessTheUnstill @ireneista

                              I think this is also playing a role in the "it's fake" response to this shooting. It's not so much that anyone wants to make up a elaborate theory about how it was staged, it's more a desire not to be jerked around emotionally again.

                              These very grim events are just media games and exploited so quickly and cynically it makes me feel like a chump to sit here going "I agree political violence is wrong"

                              It's fake. I'm not playing along. Have fun.

                              futurebird@sauropods.winF This user is from outside of this forum
                              futurebird@sauropods.winF This user is from outside of this forum
                              futurebird@sauropods.win
                              wrote last edited by
                              #21

                              @JessTheUnstill @ireneista

                              I cannot take this seriously. I do not have the energy to try and sort out any real harm from the fake drama.

                              And I don't trust anything the white-house says since they lie so much.

                              jesstheunstill@infosec.exchangeJ 1 Reply Last reply
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                              • futurebird@sauropods.winF futurebird@sauropods.win

                                @JessTheUnstill @ireneista

                                I think this is also playing a role in the "it's fake" response to this shooting. It's not so much that anyone wants to make up a elaborate theory about how it was staged, it's more a desire not to be jerked around emotionally again.

                                These very grim events are just media games and exploited so quickly and cynically it makes me feel like a chump to sit here going "I agree political violence is wrong"

                                It's fake. I'm not playing along. Have fun.

                                ireneista@adhd.irenes.spaceI This user is from outside of this forum
                                ireneista@adhd.irenes.spaceI This user is from outside of this forum
                                ireneista@adhd.irenes.space
                                wrote last edited by
                                #22

                                @futurebird @JessTheUnstill yeah. we do very much encourage not playing drama games. the whole circus is trying to manipulate people's emotions with this whole roller coaster...

                                importantly, that has nothing to do with the underlying reality of the events

                                the trick is to not get led around emotionally while also not having our ability to perceive reality destroyed. disinformation is trying to destroy the concept of truth; we can't let it

                                1 Reply Last reply
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                                • futurebird@sauropods.winF futurebird@sauropods.win

                                  Bullies like to say that "might makes right" but they don't *really* want to live by those words.

                                  The entire meta of being a bully is based on targeting the weakest people to show that you *might* not follow the same rules as everyone else if you don't get your way. Your transgression, your disregard for social order scares the mass of people into simply giving you what you want **without a fight.**

                                  As soon as people start fighting back? Bullies loose. They are outnumbered.

                                  dresstokilt@mastodon.socialD This user is from outside of this forum
                                  dresstokilt@mastodon.socialD This user is from outside of this forum
                                  dresstokilt@mastodon.social
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #23

                                  @futurebird it only took 16 years of operating norms being openly and wantonly violated for the Dems to buy a clue.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
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                                  • futurebird@sauropods.winF futurebird@sauropods.win

                                    @JessTheUnstill @ireneista

                                    I cannot take this seriously. I do not have the energy to try and sort out any real harm from the fake drama.

                                    And I don't trust anything the white-house says since they lie so much.

                                    jesstheunstill@infosec.exchangeJ This user is from outside of this forum
                                    jesstheunstill@infosec.exchangeJ This user is from outside of this forum
                                    jesstheunstill@infosec.exchange
                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #24

                                    @futurebird @ireneista That's not what I was trying to say and I apologize if that's how it came out. I, for one, don't think it was staged, but the response is straight out of their standard playbook they all have agreed upon in advance for any time "political violence" happens.

                                    futurebird@sauropods.winF 1 Reply Last reply
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                                    • jesstheunstill@infosec.exchangeJ jesstheunstill@infosec.exchange

                                      @futurebird @ireneista That's not what I was trying to say and I apologize if that's how it came out. I, for one, don't think it was staged, but the response is straight out of their standard playbook they all have agreed upon in advance for any time "political violence" happens.

                                      futurebird@sauropods.winF This user is from outside of this forum
                                      futurebird@sauropods.winF This user is from outside of this forum
                                      futurebird@sauropods.win
                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #25

                                      @JessTheUnstill @ireneista

                                      I was just thinking of another example of "not playing nice" I didn't mean to tie that to your comment directly.

                                      But it's just that playbook that I'm sick of seeing people go along with as if any of the people calling for "respect" are even sad about anything.

                                      It feels fake.

                                      emma@orbital.horseE ireneista@adhd.irenes.spaceI 2 Replies Last reply
                                      0
                                      • futurebird@sauropods.winF futurebird@sauropods.win

                                        @JessTheUnstill @ireneista

                                        I was just thinking of another example of "not playing nice" I didn't mean to tie that to your comment directly.

                                        But it's just that playbook that I'm sick of seeing people go along with as if any of the people calling for "respect" are even sad about anything.

                                        It feels fake.

                                        emma@orbital.horseE This user is from outside of this forum
                                        emma@orbital.horseE This user is from outside of this forum
                                        emma@orbital.horse
                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #26

                                        RE: https://orbital.horse/@emma/116472965488219616

                                        @futurebird @JessTheUnstill @ireneista

                                        Yeah, this is all very exhausting and leads to doubt.

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                                        • R relay@relay.mycrowd.ca shared this topic
                                        • futurebird@sauropods.winF futurebird@sauropods.win

                                          @JessTheUnstill @ireneista

                                          I was just thinking of another example of "not playing nice" I didn't mean to tie that to your comment directly.

                                          But it's just that playbook that I'm sick of seeing people go along with as if any of the people calling for "respect" are even sad about anything.

                                          It feels fake.

                                          ireneista@adhd.irenes.spaceI This user is from outside of this forum
                                          ireneista@adhd.irenes.spaceI This user is from outside of this forum
                                          ireneista@adhd.irenes.space
                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #27

                                          @futurebird @JessTheUnstill oh, yes, the calls for respect are just straight-up lies. it is not a thing these assholes give a shit about, its point is purely to silence us.

                                          cwdolunt@dice.campC 1 Reply Last reply
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