T
Coworker Laid Off Solely For Performance-Related Reasons Warns AI Coming For Everyone
SIOUX CITY, IA—Making the dire prediction shortly after being terminated for substandard work, marketing analyst Ryan Bronson, who was laid off solely for performance-related reasons Wednesday, warned that artificial intelligence was coming for everyone. “Yup, the way things are going, not a s…
#theonion
https://theonion.com/coworker-laid-off-solely-for-performance-related-reasons-warns-ai-coming-for-everyone/
Finnish Ski Jumping Team Caught Tampering With Earth’s Gravitational Field
PREDAZZO, ITALY—Calling the incident a flagrant violation of both the rules of the event and the fundamental constants of the universe, International Olympic Committee officials confirmed Saturday that the Finnish ski jumping team had been caught tampering with Earth’s gravitational field in an attempt to gain a com…
#theonion
https://theonion.com/finnish-ski-jumping-team-caught-tampering-with-earths-gravitational-field/
Terrified Conservatives Lose Ability To Speak English After Exposure To Bad Bunny Performance (‘¡Dios Mío!’ Cry Millions Of Panicking Republicans)
BOISE, ID—Crying out “¡Dios mío!” and “¡Ayúdame!” as soon as they heard the opening notes of the Puerto Rican superstar’s “EoO,” millions of terrified conservatives reportedly lo…
#theonion
https://theonion.com/terrified-conservatives-lose-ability-to-speak-english-after-exposure-to-bad-bunny-performance-dios-mio-cry-millions-of-panicking-republicans/
