CIRCLE WITH A DOT

@mullvadnet "yet another step" indeed...

@mindpersephone @alice @Liliana365 I feel like a ladybug with a top hat would be rad.

@ariarhythmic @Mastodon @mellifluousbox well, if it gets implemented, it's gonna be limited to their own servers. thank god for decentralization. there's that, at least...

i'm not liking this new future we find ourselves in.

Today was something really special. I mean, it's the middle of the afternoon, but still. I spent the night at Nitsa's place, and today one of our best friends who also happens to be a little brother as he chose us to be his big sisters came by for his first testosterone injection. When him was a friend of his and his goal. We were five trans girls all surrounding this one trans boy celebrating his first testosterone injection and it was something really special and unique and I'm so happy to have been able to be part of it.

Before the injection, he had moments of doubt, wondering if he was making the right choice. And it's special, because there is nothing more trans than this, and at the same time, well, you don't want to dismiss that. It's important to let the person explore that doubt and figure it out for themselves. He made his choice and we were all surrounding him and giving him lots of love when he did the injection of him.

He is frightened by needles, so this was hard for him. Once the process was done, he asked us in disbelief if it was done, if he actually had testosterone within him for real now. When he heard that yes, he did, that it was real, his face changed. That boy always had a wonderful smile but this was something else. His face, it glistened, it lit up the room. Like a comet soaring through the nightsky, so radiant that it seemingly sets the sky on day fire.

On a similar note, I've seen him with his girlfriend, the way they kiss each other, the way he seeks her for comfort and... Some things are just too perfect to even describe.

I'll forever be grateful to have been able to witness all of this.

On a more personal note, now:

Later, sitting on the couch, still wearing around him the trans flag I had wrapped him in when I helped him come out more than a year ago. Still high from his joy, he then said a loud to the girls surrounding him, while I was autistically sitting on the floor in front of them: "Hey, you know that it's because of Omega that I'm still alive?"

Everyone in the room proceeded to thank me. Nitsa then told them that just yesterday night, I was crying in her bed, thinking that I never did enough, that I was not helping anyone, that I was worthless. It's hard for me to process, it's all so fleeting and soon enough, my anxieties will once again have the upper hand on my self-esteem. But this was real. Nothing's more real than this. It happened, it came out of nowhere else than his deepest sincerity, his rawest emotions. People bare witnessed.

You know... life is difficult, painful, sometimes it's awful. But damn, it does have its moments. Things like today makes all of the things that came before worth it.

#trans #transjoy #hrt #testosterone #transman #transboy #transmasc #transmasculine

@hrefna the "facts don't care about your feelings" crowd when facts don't care about their feelings.