chaser.com.au/business/apple-a…Tech giant and child labour enthusiasts Apple has announced its new CEO, meanwhile their current CEO has suspiciously began to slow down and randomly shut down when doing tasks it used to be fine at handling.Apple fans around the globe could barely contain their excitement following the release of a new rich, old, nerdy, white man CEO almost completely indistinguishable from its last rich, old, nerdy, white man CEO.The new CEO 7 (John Ternus) will reportedly come in regular and ‘pro’ versions.The base model will continue the company’s focus on destroying the ethical fabric of modern society, whereas the ‘pro’ model will change its charger again for no good fucking reason.UPDATE – Apple executives have returned Tim Cook to the Apple Store for a $20 trade in.