CIRCLE WITH A DOT

@Pururvaagarwal
Thanks.

Complaint of an autistic, bipolar, and gifted person who is dysregulated and tired...

Something changed. In my personal life and in my digital life. I'm getting old, with bipolar disorder and level 2 autism, with an overlap of 3 autoimmune diseases, diabetes, progressive deafness, and almost no work (due to the economic situation in my country and my health).
I live quite peacefully despite these problems, with my wife, my cats, and my dog. I have a very good family environment, with my daughter (even though we live 1100 km away), my wife's children, my sisters, and a few close friends.
I have some activities that satisfy my brain and intellectual exercise needs, such as chess tournaments with friends, some science projects, books, music (I have a guitar to sing blues in the evenings), hacking and programming, and my Zen and Yiquan practice at home.
So yesterday I had a "conversation" with a guy who claims to be autistic and a psychologist, but who actually isn't and just wanted to argue and practice his neurosis on me. His supposed profession and life wouldn't stand up to even the slightest OSINT investigation; it doesn't exist. It's not that I enjoy doxing stupid people, it's that it's practically obligatory (and I can't break my old habits) given how many people like that there are on social media.
The thing is, I don't even feel like sharing memes anymore because there's always some son of a bitch trying to stir things up. I'm tired of it. My wife gave me a lecture today, and she's right.
The worst part is that these kinds of encounters have almost always been with people who claim to be "autistic." I hardly ever think about being autistic in my daily life, nor am I constantly engaged in activism or tilting at windmills. I also dislike the ideological mess that many people have in their heads.
So I'm going to keep quiet for a while and let certain topics go. The main reason I had social media accounts, and lately on Mastodon, was for the information and the people involved with computers. The rest doesn't really interest me. The autism issue is over for me; I've already understood what I needed to understand after the diagnosis, which was the last link in a series of diagnoses that took up 18 years of my life. There's no need to keep dealing with repetitive and irrelevant information or with unhinged people.
Of course, there are interesting and pleasant people on Mastodon, and even among the autistic ones I can find, but my mental and physical health are screaming for me to step back from digital life a bit more. Mastodon isn't exempt from the toxicity of other platforms; it just seems less noticeable because there are fewer people and because many users follow a certain behavioral model and a set of sociocultural guidelines. But dare to think differently, to disagree with something, to not be interested in the group, cultural, and even tribal trends of Mastodon, and we'll see how you fare. It's exhausting to see hundreds, or perhaps thousands, of profiles that seem to be made with templates and with bombastic hashtags that are more like threats than advertisements, because if you don't agree with or aren't interested in the topic of the user you're interacting with, you're going to be labeled a damn Nazi. I've even seen users with thousands of followers proposing bans and boycotts of people, software, and even memes because they're "on the other side."
I'm really tired of so much human mental crap and it's very likely that I'll disappear or do what some accounts do that only post cat memes, not because they don't have anything better to say but because the others won't understand or listen to anything serious or really important.
I still prefer hacking and programming, and the people who focus solely on that. As Mr. Torvalds said, I like computers, not people. And I understand his reasons.

#actuallyautistic #autism #autistic #bipolar

@RoundSparrow
Keep going, I enjoy reading your posts

@RoundSparrow Religion and politics are the same. Entertainment for brainless idiots.

@RoundSparrow
I don't like people in general, especially stupid ones like you. Perhaps that's why I love computers.

@RoundSparrow
Pure bullshit. You're easy to get a reaction out of. Lots of politics, lots of idealism. Lots of nonsense.

@RoundSparrow Many quotes

@RoundSparrow
I don't have one, I have several doctorates. And what I feel isn't hatred for people, it's contempt, or disdain.

@RoundSparrow
The world has always been this way and it will only get worse. But pretending that the internet doesn't exist for a few hours a day is a way to isolate myself from it a little.

RE: https://infosec.exchange/@caesarcattus/116646838706843429

It's not a bad idea to pretend for a while that I'm in the '80s or '90s and forget a little about the madness on the internet.
#internet #ai #aislop

@jerry
Luckily, in my daily life I have no need to use AI for anything. What's more, I'm not even online much, and my phone is on silent all day, so I look things up when I want and I'm not bombarded with notifications. But with all this AI hype, I'm thinking of distancing myself even further from the public digital world and pretending I'm back in the late '80s and the web, social media, and smartphones didn't exist yet.

@jarkko
Yes! I do that for fun sometimes. I have a couple of VMs in Boxes where I play around with C, Assembly, and Go. Now I'm learning Rust. I also sometimes do a bit of reverse engineering out of curiosity and for fun. Small things to learn.

@jarkko
Yes, I know. I have the latest version of the x86-64 version and others similar. Assembler is difficult and fascinating.

@jarkko Memories of old times...

@jerry The Great Jerry in action.

@Annacats
Choose your friends wisely when you're walking around the rooftops of the neighborhood.

#zen #zazen