What in the name of EDC nonsense is a "defense ruler" ?

[futurebird@sauropods.win]

What in the name of EDC nonsense is a "defense ruler" ?

[xan@xantronix.social]

@futurebird Car Mounted Defense Ruler even! lmao what the fuck

[phpete@mastodon.coffee]

@futurebird
Oooh! Oooh!

The old wooden ones with little metal strips?

I loved those!

[resonancewright@infosec.exchange]

@futurebird equal parts FOMO and disposable income

the EDC world isn't very subtle, it plays the 'real men are prepared for everything, you're a real man aren't you' card right alongside the 'cool guys have this' and 'it's made of the strongest best most prestigious materials, others will envy you'

and it's all performative is the thing, it's done to be seen. you get these boy-men tryna carry the contents of a Batman utility belt in their pockets, and after a while they mostly stop doing it except to take the pics

[josh0@babka.social]

@futurebird In my hands, every ruler is a defense ruler. </ Action Hero>

[ashedryden@xoxo.zone]

@futurebird nun defense system

[rootwyrm@weird.autos]

@futurebird <does a quick search>

... WHAT IN THE ACTUAL GODDAMN FUCK.

These things aren't rulers! They're barely fucking ESTIMATORS. And where's the stabby part, you ignorant motherfuckers?!

[letsbeworms@brain.worm.pink]

@futurebird

no idea but it makes me think of a pickup truck with a 1m long slide rule in the gun rack for the mathematicians doing sum serious calculatin' out in the back woods

[estelle@mstdn.social]

@futurebird i guess the classic weapon of math destruction (euclidean compass) wasn't enough for some people?

[michael_w_busch@mastodon.online]

@futurebird

The one time I encountered such a thing, it was very obviously "I am going to pretend that this is not a blunt sword".

The handle was the giveaway.

[vfrmedia@social.tchncs.de]

@futurebird most of them I have seen are simply a 50cm ruler of thicker metal (about 3-5mm) with a tassel on the end.

I suppose you *could* use it as some kind of ninja weapon if you wanted, but I suspect the Chinese are having a good laugh at the expense of American bros - especially for those rulers which have had the extra bits added (which makes them less useful as the handle won't lie flat) and are sold at premium prices - you can get the basic ruler for £10 and to be fair that does seem a bit more practical as an actual ruler.

Maybe it will even encourage Americans to use metric more

[jayalane@mastodon.online]

@letsbeworms @futurebird with a meter slide rule you should be able to get three sig figs pretty easily.

[futurebird@sauropods.win]

@michael_w_busch

why not just have a blunt sword?

[scm@sfba.social]

@futurebird I’m guessing this is skirting the laws about carrying weapons somewhere. Like a law that bans swords and clubs but has a specific exception for rulers

[futurebird@sauropods.win]

@vfrmedia

Well as an American I don't want a wimpy "defense ruler" I want an "attack ruler"

[phooky@hexa.club]

@rootwyrm @futurebird seriously those things are super deadly

[phooky@hexa.club]

@letsbeworms @futurebird gotta work out the angles for your deer hunting mortar, which you calibrate with your tactical protractor

[westerninfidels@mefi.social]

@futurebird @vfrmedia *Tactical* ruler.

[eliterrell@mastodon.social]

@WesternInfidels @futurebird @vfrmedia Assault ruler.

[rootwyrm@weird.autos]

@phooky @futurebird and they're WAY more dangerous if you actually throw them instead of dropping them on your foot.