What in the name of EDC nonsense is a "defense ruler" ?

[ashedryden@xoxo.zone]

@futurebird nun defense system

[rootwyrm@weird.autos]

@futurebird <does a quick search>

... WHAT IN THE ACTUAL GODDAMN FUCK.

These things aren't rulers! They're barely fucking ESTIMATORS. And where's the stabby part, you ignorant motherfuckers?!

[letsbeworms@brain.worm.pink]

@futurebird

no idea but it makes me think of a pickup truck with a 1m long slide rule in the gun rack for the mathematicians doing sum serious calculatin' out in the back woods

[estelle@mstdn.social]

@futurebird i guess the classic weapon of math destruction (euclidean compass) wasn't enough for some people?

[michael_w_busch@mastodon.online]

@futurebird

The one time I encountered such a thing, it was very obviously "I am going to pretend that this is not a blunt sword".

The handle was the giveaway.

[vfrmedia@social.tchncs.de]

@futurebird most of them I have seen are simply a 50cm ruler of thicker metal (about 3-5mm) with a tassel on the end.

I suppose you *could* use it as some kind of ninja weapon if you wanted, but I suspect the Chinese are having a good laugh at the expense of American bros - especially for those rulers which have had the extra bits added (which makes them less useful as the handle won't lie flat) and are sold at premium prices - you can get the basic ruler for £10 and to be fair that does seem a bit more practical as an actual ruler.

Maybe it will even encourage Americans to use metric more

[jayalane@mastodon.online]

@letsbeworms @futurebird with a meter slide rule you should be able to get three sig figs pretty easily.

[futurebird@sauropods.win]

@michael_w_busch

why not just have a blunt sword?

[scm@sfba.social]

@futurebird I’m guessing this is skirting the laws about carrying weapons somewhere. Like a law that bans swords and clubs but has a specific exception for rulers

[futurebird@sauropods.win]

@vfrmedia

Well as an American I don't want a wimpy "defense ruler" I want an "attack ruler"

[phooky@hexa.club]

@rootwyrm @futurebird seriously those things are super deadly

[phooky@hexa.club]

@letsbeworms @futurebird gotta work out the angles for your deer hunting mortar, which you calibrate with your tactical protractor

[westerninfidels@mefi.social]

@futurebird @vfrmedia *Tactical* ruler.

[eliterrell@mastodon.social]

@WesternInfidels @futurebird @vfrmedia Assault ruler.

[rootwyrm@weird.autos]

@phooky @futurebird and they're WAY more dangerous if you actually throw them instead of dropping them on your foot.

[mokhtarstork@zirk.us]

@futurebird It does resemble a knife.... Is there a sharp edge?

[futurebird@sauropods.win]

@MokhtarStork

The edge is blunt and it's rather thick.

[oldclumsy_nowmad@mastodon.social]

@letsbeworms @futurebird

Never belittle the physics that has sprung from males in pickup trucks in the woods. If they need defense rulers to dress a moose, give 'em. Who knows what quantum hyperspace they'll do?

In Hi Skool, science teacher explained math of pulleys, blocks-and-tackle, etc. She asked JimmaJo how that might be useful. He said, "I guess if you're in the woods and your truck got stuck in mud, you could wrap a rope around a tree and use it to pull the truck out." True story!

[mokhtarstork@zirk.us]

@futurebird I understand, however, the handle creates the impression of a knife when its not.

[ottaross@mastodon.social]

@futurebird But will it protect effectively against someone with an offense protractor?