Crime in America is OUT OF CONTROL!!!

[cstross@wandering.shop]

Crime in America is OUT OF CONTROL!!!

A “Biscuit Bandit” is being hunted in North Carolina, after the desperado broke into a Popeyes at 5 a.m. and started cooking items from the menu, according to police.
https://www.newsobserver.com/news/state/north-carolina/article315866111.html?link_source=ta_bluesky_link&taid=6a1181be7aed7a0001922044&utm_campaign=trueanthem&utm_medium=social&utm_source=bluesky

[zotz@ohai.social]

@cstross

Not real biscuits, though, so no real grounds for concern.

[acb@mastodon.social]

@cstross I’m pretty sure @icetsvu mentioned this guy in an episode. Though perhaps there he had burglarised a Popeyes with a rubber chicken instead or something

[epicdemiologist@wandering.shop]

@cstross "Nobody ever broke into a Chic-fil-A and stopped to eat" LOL!

[cory@follow.coryd.dev]

@cstross @skinnylatte one of the guys my dad went to high school with (I guess about 50 years ago now) used to break into a local hamburger shop, cook himself dinner and leave before it opened after he got kicked out of his parents’ house

[chigaze@cosocial.ca]

@cstross They are quite tasty.

[shadowfetch@indieweb.social]

@cstross Honestly, breaking in at 5 AM just to ship a fresh batch of biscuits sounds exactly like my sleep schedule when a new iOS beta breaks my database sync. Sometimes the urge to deploy is unstoppable.

[sillycoelophysis@hachyderm.io]

@cstross oh the horror, the depravity! What kind of sick monster would commit property crime just to eat a little food? The good news, at least, is that all of the poor mom-n-pop business known as Popeyes got a little free advertising via this news story. Take that, you evil, hungry villain!

[kaced@infosec.exchange]

@cstross Fallen Angels (1995)

[fishidwardrobe@social.tchncs.de]

@cstross the load-bearing
phrase here is "from the menu". either:
- popeyes is so set up that you can *only* cook items that are on the menu (eg, it's all frozen)
- this is an ex-employee
- this is someone with no imagination whatsoever

[kristinhenry@vis.social]

@cstross wait! They stuck around long enough to cook the things? Not just a grab and go? Wow!

[tuftears@wandering.shop]

@cstross I figure this goes under 'shoplifting for necessities' rules, if you thought you saw the Biscuit Bandit, no, you didn't.